Cannonball Run II Quotes
The original characters from the first Cannonball movie race across the country once more in various cars and trucks.
J.J. McClure: What line did you say you were from?
Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.
Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...
Veronica: You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New... uh...
Betty: New Wave.
Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.
Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...
Veronica: You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New... uh...
Betty: New Wave.
Blake: Don't you worry, 'cause you know what I'm gonna do?
Fenderbaum: What?
Blake: I'm gonna take this car, and I'm gonna turn so that I block the whole highway sideways. And when they come, they're gonna have a choice, either to ditch it, or ram right straight into us.
Fenderbaum: Yeah. Yeah. Ditch it or... ram STRAIGHT INTO US?
Blake: Yup.
Fenderbaum: What?
Blake: I'm gonna take this car, and I'm gonna turn so that I block the whole highway sideways. And when they come, they're gonna have a choice, either to ditch it, or ram right straight into us.
Fenderbaum: Yeah. Yeah. Ditch it or... ram STRAIGHT INTO US?
Blake: Yup.
Don Canneloni: And now, the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettuchinis, and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. And why?
Tony: High interest rates.
Sonny: Acid rain.
Slim: Japanese imports.
Caesar: Uh... uh... none of the above.
Don Canneloni: No. No. No. Youse mugs already know the answer.
Caesar: Gee, boss, if I knew there was gonna be a test, I would've studied.
Tony: High interest rates.
Sonny: Acid rain.
Slim: Japanese imports.
Caesar: Uh... uh... none of the above.
Don Canneloni: No. No. No. Youse mugs already know the answer.
Caesar: Gee, boss, if I knew there was gonna be a test, I would've studied.
Victor: [J.J. has just performed a dangerous stunt] I figured it out. If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be billionaires.
[Victor tears up a telegram]
J.J. McClure: What is that?
Victor: Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires.
[J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs it into Victor's mouth]
Victor: What did I say?
J.J. McClure: You want me to do this ten times a day?
Victor: Nine?
[J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth]
Victor: What a grouch!
[Victor tears up a telegram]
J.J. McClure: What is that?
Victor: Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires.
[J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs it into Victor's mouth]
Victor: What did I say?
J.J. McClure: You want me to do this ten times a day?
Victor: Nine?
[J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth]
Victor: What a grouch!
[while Terry and Mel try to get a car from Cal, the chimp plays with the phone]
Uncle Cal: Stop it, boy! I told you not to play with the phone!
[Cal hangs up the phone]
Uncle Cal: Damn chimp costs me three hundred a month in wrong numbers.
[the chimp starts throwing things at Cal]
Uncle Cal: Hey! Stop it, you primate! That's it, I've had it with you! 'Scuse me, boys. I need to teach this boy some manners. Hey, son.
[Cal hits the chimp with his hat. The chimp hits him back and knocks him across the room]
Uncle Cal: Now you stepped in it.
[Cal engages in a slap fight with the chimp and ultimately loses]
Uncle Cal: [to Mel and Terry] Boys, I got one condition on your needs. I'm gonna give you the limo, but only if you take this hairy son of a bitch with you!
Uncle Cal: Stop it, boy! I told you not to play with the phone!
[Cal hangs up the phone]
Uncle Cal: Damn chimp costs me three hundred a month in wrong numbers.
[the chimp starts throwing things at Cal]
Uncle Cal: Hey! Stop it, you primate! That's it, I've had it with you! 'Scuse me, boys. I need to teach this boy some manners. Hey, son.
[Cal hits the chimp with his hat. The chimp hits him back and knocks him across the room]
Uncle Cal: Now you stepped in it.
[Cal engages in a slap fight with the chimp and ultimately loses]
Uncle Cal: [to Mel and Terry] Boys, I got one condition on your needs. I'm gonna give you the limo, but only if you take this hairy son of a bitch with you!
Don Don Canneloni: Hymie Kaplan. What a surprise. Ooh, ohh, wow. You look great. So, what brings you to the Pinto Ranch? Business or pleasure?
Hymie Kaplan: May I have a chair?
Don Don Canneloni: Oh, certainly.
[Hymie picks up a chair and smashes it over his henchman who doesn't even flinch]
Don Don Canneloni: Oh. It's business.
Hymie Kaplan: May I have a chair?
Don Don Canneloni: Oh, certainly.
[Hymie picks up a chair and smashes it over his henchman who doesn't even flinch]
Don Don Canneloni: Oh. It's business.
Slim: Okay, you'll tell us.
Blake: We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash.
Tony: Only a moron would back up a race like that!
Shiek: [the Shiek enters] Ah, Fenderbaum and Blake. Good to see you! You should be sleeping at this hour. Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow.
Shiek: [Fenderbaum directs the Shiek's attention to the Cannelonis] Wingtips? Barbarians! Come, come!
Shiek: [the Shiek hands Caesar a handful of money] Buy yourself a decent clothing store. Infidels!
Blake: [the Shiek leaves] That was the moron.
Caesar: You know, these liars could be telling the truth.
Blake: We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash.
Tony: Only a moron would back up a race like that!
Shiek: [the Shiek enters] Ah, Fenderbaum and Blake. Good to see you! You should be sleeping at this hour. Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow.
Shiek: [Fenderbaum directs the Shiek's attention to the Cannelonis] Wingtips? Barbarians! Come, come!
Shiek: [the Shiek hands Caesar a handful of money] Buy yourself a decent clothing store. Infidels!
Blake: [the Shiek leaves] That was the moron.
Caesar: You know, these liars could be telling the truth.
