Guardians of the Galaxy Quotes
A group of intergalactic criminals are forced to work together to stop a fanatical warrior from taking control of the universe.
Peter Quill: I have a plan.
Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
Peter Quill: I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say.
Rocket Raccoon: And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.
Peter Quill: I have part of a plan.
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...
Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?
Peter Quill: I dunno... Twelve percent?
Rocket Raccoon: Twelve percent?
[starts laughing]
Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.
Rocket Raccoon: It's real!
Peter Quill: Totally fake!
Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!
Gamora: It's barely a concept.
Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking their side?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you Groot, thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.
Groot: [Groot begins to chew on a leaf protruding from his shoulder]
Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
Peter Quill: I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say.
Rocket Raccoon: And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.
Peter Quill: I have part of a plan.
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...
Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?
Peter Quill: I dunno... Twelve percent?
Rocket Raccoon: Twelve percent?
[starts laughing]
Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.
Rocket Raccoon: It's real!
Peter Quill: Totally fake!
Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!
Gamora: It's barely a concept.
Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking their side?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you Groot, thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.
Groot: [Groot begins to chew on a leaf protruding from his shoulder]
Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: ...Who put the sticks up their butts?
Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: ...Who put the sticks up their butts?
Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.
Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.
Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.
Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.
Drax the Destroyer: I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.
Peter Quill: Thanks.
Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
[Groot grunts]
Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...
Gamora: Oh, you must stop!
Peter Quill: Thanks.
Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
[Groot grunts]
Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...
Gamora: Oh, you must stop!
Rhomann Dey: Peter Jason Quill. He's also known as Star-Lord.
Nova Corps Officer: Who calls him that?
Rhomann Dey: Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud...
[Quill winds up his finger and flips the bird at the screen which reads: OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT]
Peter Quill: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...
Nova Corps Officer: Who calls him that?
Rhomann Dey: Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud...
[Quill winds up his finger and flips the bird at the screen which reads: OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT]
Peter Quill: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...
Peter Quill: [about Gamora] She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you...
[draws his finger across his throat in a cutthroat gesture]
Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Peter Quill: No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat.
Drax the Destroyer: I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off.
[draws his finger across his throat in a cutthroat gesture]
Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Peter Quill: No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat.
Drax the Destroyer: I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off.
Rocket Raccoon: But Quill, beating Ronan... it can't be done. You're asking us to die.
Peter Quill: Yeah... I guess I am.
[pause]
Gamora: [stands up] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.
Drax the Destroyer: [stands up] You're an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter.
Groot: [stands up] I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...
[stands up]
Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.
Peter Quill: Yeah... I guess I am.
[pause]
Gamora: [stands up] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.
Drax the Destroyer: [stands up] You're an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter.
Groot: [stands up] I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...
[stands up]
Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.
Rocket Raccoon: If we're gonna get outta here, we gonna need to get into that watch tower, and to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one.
Gamora: Leave it to me.
Rocket Raccoon: That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.
Peter Quill: His leg?
Rocket Raccoon: Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.
Peter Quill: ...All right.
Rocket Raccoon: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?
Peter Quill: Yeah.
Rocket Raccoon: There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.
Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?
Rocket Raccoon: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.
[Groot starts walking toward the panel]
Gamora: You must be joking.
Rocket Raccoon: No, I really heard they find you attractive.
Peter Quill: Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.
Rocket Raccoon: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
[Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out]
Rocket Raccoon: Can I get back to it? Thanks.
[Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery]
Rocket Raccoon: Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.
[Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms]
Rocket Raccoon: Or we could just get it first and improvise.
Gamora: I'll get the armband.
Peter Quill: Leg.
Gamora: Leave it to me.
Rocket Raccoon: That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.
Peter Quill: His leg?
Rocket Raccoon: Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.
Peter Quill: ...All right.
Rocket Raccoon: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?
Peter Quill: Yeah.
Rocket Raccoon: There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.
Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?
Rocket Raccoon: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.
[Groot starts walking toward the panel]
Gamora: You must be joking.
Rocket Raccoon: No, I really heard they find you attractive.
Peter Quill: Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.
Rocket Raccoon: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
[Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out]
Rocket Raccoon: Can I get back to it? Thanks.
[Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery]
Rocket Raccoon: Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.
[Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms]
Rocket Raccoon: Or we could just get it first and improvise.
Gamora: I'll get the armband.
Peter Quill: Leg.
Ronan: Citizens of Xandar, behold your guardians of the galaxy! What fruit have they wrought?
Peter Quill: [dances] Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: Dance-off, bro. Me and you.
[holds out his hand for Gamora]
Peter Quill: Gamora.
[she shakes her head]
Peter Quill: Subtle, taking it back.
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!
Peter Quill: [dances] Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: Dance-off, bro. Me and you.
[holds out his hand for Gamora]
Peter Quill: Gamora.
[she shakes her head]
Peter Quill: Subtle, taking it back.
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!
Star-Lord: Here you go.
[Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested]
Rocket Raccoon: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things.
Star-Lord: What?
Rocket Raccoon: [laughing] No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No, wait, what'd he look like hopping around?
Star-Lord: I had to transfer him 30,000 units!
Rocket Raccoon: [chittering laughter]
[Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested]
Rocket Raccoon: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things.
Star-Lord: What?
Rocket Raccoon: [laughing] No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No, wait, what'd he look like hopping around?
Star-Lord: I had to transfer him 30,000 units!
Rocket Raccoon: [chittering laughter]
Peter Quill: [talks with the rest of the Guardians in private when they are all in doubt] When I look around, you know what I see? Losers.
[Everyone looks at him]
Peter Quill: I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.
Rocket Raccoon: To do what?
Peter Quill: To give a shit. And I am not gonna stand by and watch as billions of lives are being wiped out.
[Everyone looks at him]
Peter Quill: I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.
Rocket Raccoon: To do what?
Peter Quill: To give a shit. And I am not gonna stand by and watch as billions of lives are being wiped out.
Ronan: I only ask that you take this matter seriously.
Thanos: The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me! Your demeanor is that of a pouting child. And apparently you alienated my favorite daughter, Gamora. I shall honor our agreement, Kree, if you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty handed and I will bathe the star-ways with your blood.
Nebula: Thanks, Dad. Sounds fair.
Thanos: The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me! Your demeanor is that of a pouting child. And apparently you alienated my favorite daughter, Gamora. I shall honor our agreement, Kree, if you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty handed and I will bathe the star-ways with your blood.
Nebula: Thanks, Dad. Sounds fair.
Rocket Raccoon: [lands with his minepod on Knowhere next to Groot and Drax] Idiot, they're all idiots. Quill just got himself captured.
[yells at Drax]
Rocket Raccoon: None of this would've happened if you hadn't tried to take on an frickin' army!
Drax the Destroyer: You're right. I was a fool. All that anger. All that rage. It just covered my loss.
[Drax shamefully looks onto the ground]
Rocket Raccoon: [Rocket dumbly stares at Drax for a few seconds, then mocks him] "Aww, boo-hoo. My wife and child are dead."
[Groot gasps at Rocket's mockery]
Rocket Raccoon: I don't care if it's mean. Everybody's got dead people! But it makes no excuse to letting everyone else around get killed along the way!
[yells at Drax]
Rocket Raccoon: None of this would've happened if you hadn't tried to take on an frickin' army!
Drax the Destroyer: You're right. I was a fool. All that anger. All that rage. It just covered my loss.
[Drax shamefully looks onto the ground]
Rocket Raccoon: [Rocket dumbly stares at Drax for a few seconds, then mocks him] "Aww, boo-hoo. My wife and child are dead."
[Groot gasps at Rocket's mockery]
Rocket Raccoon: I don't care if it's mean. Everybody's got dead people! But it makes no excuse to letting everyone else around get killed along the way!
Gamora: [talks to Drax] You don't get opinions after that nonsense you pulled on Knowhere.
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that blowing up the ship I'm on isn't saving me.
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking about something else.
Rocket Raccoon: She's right; you don't get opinions.
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that blowing up the ship I'm on isn't saving me.
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking about something else.
Rocket Raccoon: She's right; you don't get opinions.
Rocket Raccoon: [Rocket and Star-Lord are escaping in mine pods with Necrocrafts after them] We don't have any weapons!
Peter Quill: These are mine pods, they're nearly indestructible.
Rocket Raccoon: Not against Necroblasters they're not!
Peter Quill: That's not what I'm saying.
Rocket Raccoon: ...Oh.
[Rocket starts to ram the Necrocrafts]
Peter Quill: These are mine pods, they're nearly indestructible.
Rocket Raccoon: Not against Necroblasters they're not!
Peter Quill: That's not what I'm saying.
Rocket Raccoon: ...Oh.
[Rocket starts to ram the Necrocrafts]
[a brawl takes place between Drax and Rocket]
Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!
Rocket Raccoon: That is true!
Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect!
Rocket Raccoon: That is also true! Keep callin' me vermin tough guy, you just want to laugh at me like everyone else!
Peter Quill: Rocket, you're drunk, all right? No one's laughing at you.
Rocket Raccoon: [points at Drax] He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does!
[starts to cry]
Rocket Raccoon: Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over and turned into some little monster!
Peter Quill: Rocket, no one's calling you a monster...
Rocket Raccoon: He called me vermin! She called me rodent! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!
[draws a gun]
Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!
Rocket Raccoon: That is true!
Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect!
Rocket Raccoon: That is also true! Keep callin' me vermin tough guy, you just want to laugh at me like everyone else!
Peter Quill: Rocket, you're drunk, all right? No one's laughing at you.
Rocket Raccoon: [points at Drax] He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does!
[starts to cry]
Rocket Raccoon: Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over and turned into some little monster!
Peter Quill: Rocket, no one's calling you a monster...
Rocket Raccoon: He called me vermin! She called me rodent! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!
[draws a gun]
Peter Quill: [Yondu's robotic dart is pointing at him] If you kill me, you're gonna miss the biggest score you've ever seen.
Yondu Udonta: The Stone? I hope you gotta better idea 'cause no one ain't stealing from Ronan.
Peter Quill: We got a ringer.
[glances at Gamora]
Peter Quill: She knows everything there is about Ronan. His ship, how to get in...
Gamora: He's vulnerable.
Peter Quill: So whaddaya think? Me and you, taking down scores, just like old times?
[Yondu glares at Quill... then calls off his dart and hugs Quill]
Yondu Udonta: [laughs] You always had balls, son! That's why we kept you as a youngling!
Yondu Udonta: The Stone? I hope you gotta better idea 'cause no one ain't stealing from Ronan.
Peter Quill: We got a ringer.
[glances at Gamora]
Peter Quill: She knows everything there is about Ronan. His ship, how to get in...
Gamora: He's vulnerable.
Peter Quill: So whaddaya think? Me and you, taking down scores, just like old times?
[Yondu glares at Quill... then calls off his dart and hugs Quill]
Yondu Udonta: [laughs] You always had balls, son! That's why we kept you as a youngling!
Ronan: With all due respect, Thanos, your daughter made this mess, and yet you summon ME?
The Other: I would lower my voice, Accuser!
Ronan: First, she lost a battle to some primitive...
The Other: Thanos had put Gamora under your charge!
Ronan: ...then she was apprehended by the Nova Corps...
The Other: You are the one, here, with nothing to show for him!
Ronan: Your sources say she was meant to betray us the whole time!
The Other: Lower your tone! Here you won't bring in your...
[Ronan kills the Other to shut him up]
The Other: I would lower my voice, Accuser!
Ronan: First, she lost a battle to some primitive...
The Other: Thanos had put Gamora under your charge!
Ronan: ...then she was apprehended by the Nova Corps...
The Other: You are the one, here, with nothing to show for him!
Ronan: Your sources say she was meant to betray us the whole time!
The Other: Lower your tone! Here you won't bring in your...
[Ronan kills the Other to shut him up]
Nova Prime Rael: Ronan is destroying Xandarian outposts throughout the galaxy! I should think that would call for some slight response on the part of the Kree.
Kree Ambassador: We signed your peace treaty, Nova Prime. What more do you want?
Nova Prime Rael: At least a statement from the Kree Empire saying that they condemn his actions. He is slaughtering children, families!
Kree Ambassador: That is your business. Now, I have other matters to attend to.
[He cuts off the transmission]
Nova Prime Rael: Prick!
Kree Ambassador: We signed your peace treaty, Nova Prime. What more do you want?
Nova Prime Rael: At least a statement from the Kree Empire saying that they condemn his actions. He is slaughtering children, families!
Kree Ambassador: That is your business. Now, I have other matters to attend to.
[He cuts off the transmission]
Nova Prime Rael: Prick!
