I Love You, Man Quotes
Friendless Peter Klaven goes on a series of man-dates to find a Best Man for his wedding. But, when his insta-bond with his new B.F.F. puts a strain on his relationship with his fiancée, can the trio learn to live happily ever after?
Sydney Fife: You get home safe, Pistol.
Peter Klaven: You got it, Joben.
Sydney Fife: I'm sorry, what?
Peter Klaven: Er... nothing.
Sydney Fife: No, what did you say?
Peter Klaven: Nah, I don't know... You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you... "Joben"... It means nothing... I don't... I'm drunk... I'm gonna call a cab.
Peter Klaven: You got it, Joben.
Sydney Fife: I'm sorry, what?
Peter Klaven: Er... nothing.
Sydney Fife: No, what did you say?
Peter Klaven: Nah, I don't know... You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you... "Joben"... It means nothing... I don't... I'm drunk... I'm gonna call a cab.
Doug: I just wish I could take back that kiss...
Sydney Fife: Woah!
[Looks at Peter]
Doug: ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal... you fucking whore!
[Storms off]
Peter Klaven: [to Sydney] I can actually explain that.
Sydney Fife: I would looove to hear that!
Sydney Fife: Woah!
[Looks at Peter]
Doug: ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal... you fucking whore!
[Storms off]
Peter Klaven: [to Sydney] I can actually explain that.
Sydney Fife: I would looove to hear that!
Peter Klaven: So what do i do? How do i make friends?
Robbie Klaven: If you see a cool looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter Klaven: Ok.
Robbie Klaven: You know what i mean?
Peter Klaven: No.
Robbie Klaven: Casual lunch or after work drinks. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter Klaven: Ohhhh god i love that movie. No I wont.
Robbie Klaven: If you see a cool looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter Klaven: Ok.
Robbie Klaven: You know what i mean?
Peter Klaven: No.
Robbie Klaven: Casual lunch or after work drinks. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter Klaven: Ohhhh god i love that movie. No I wont.
Sydney Fife: [on phone] Just meet me at Muscle Beach in like... I don't know... half an hour?
Peter Klaven: Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
Sydney Fife: That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not?
Peter Klaven: No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Sydney Fife: [laughing] Alright I'll see you then, buddy.
Peter Klaven: Alright. Laters on the menjay.
[Hangs up]
Peter Klaven: What did I just say?
Peter Klaven: Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
Sydney Fife: That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not?
Peter Klaven: No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Sydney Fife: [laughing] Alright I'll see you then, buddy.
Peter Klaven: Alright. Laters on the menjay.
[Hangs up]
Peter Klaven: What did I just say?
Peter Klaven: I think we should spend some time apart.
Sydney Fife: Okay.
Peter Klaven: So if I actually do wind up having a wedding, its probably best that you... not be there.
Sydney Fife: Yep. Sounds good to me, Pete.
Peter Klaven: And if you could have those billboards taken down...
Sydney Fife: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will take a few days, but I will get on that. And I'll also make sure you get your money back as soon as possible.
Peter Klaven: Also I think you have my Season 2 LOST DVD's. If you could... If you haven't watched them yet its no...
Sydney Fife: [Grabs DVD] It's fine, Pete. They're right here.
[Throws DVD]
Peter Klaven: [Catches] Thanks.
Peter Klaven: Its just that Zooey hasn't seen them all yet. She's really curious is to what was going on inside that Hatch.
Sydney Fife: Yep.
Sydney Fife: [Shakes hand] I wish you the very best of luck, Peter.
Peter Klaven: You too, Sydney.
Peter Klaven: [to Anwar] Bye, Anwar.
Anwar Sadat: [Snarls]
Sydney Fife: Okay.
Peter Klaven: So if I actually do wind up having a wedding, its probably best that you... not be there.
Sydney Fife: Yep. Sounds good to me, Pete.
Peter Klaven: And if you could have those billboards taken down...
Sydney Fife: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will take a few days, but I will get on that. And I'll also make sure you get your money back as soon as possible.
Peter Klaven: Also I think you have my Season 2 LOST DVD's. If you could... If you haven't watched them yet its no...
Sydney Fife: [Grabs DVD] It's fine, Pete. They're right here.
[Throws DVD]
Peter Klaven: [Catches] Thanks.
Peter Klaven: Its just that Zooey hasn't seen them all yet. She's really curious is to what was going on inside that Hatch.
Sydney Fife: Yep.
Sydney Fife: [Shakes hand] I wish you the very best of luck, Peter.
Peter Klaven: You too, Sydney.
Peter Klaven: [to Anwar] Bye, Anwar.
Anwar Sadat: [Snarls]
Sydney Fife: Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest, kind and fun-loving people I've ever had the honor of knowing. The Pistol is a pleasure giver that's for sure. So beautiful Zooey, give it back. Yeah?
[winks]
Sydney Fife: Return the favor. And if you do, I guarantee that you will have a beautiful and pleasure filled union.
[winks]
Sydney Fife: Return the favor. And if you do, I guarantee that you will have a beautiful and pleasure filled union.
[first lines]
Peter Klaven: So, my plan is to create this cluster of live/work lofts all along the perimeter here. And - come here - also I'm planning this neighborhoody, kind of dining and retail area in the central square. You know I even had this thought that you, Denise, and Haley could open up a second location for your store...
Zooey: Really? Because Denise keeps talking about wanting to open up another branch.
Peter Klaven: Well it would be great. I I look, the land is a little pricey, so I couldn't develop it right away. But once I sell the Ferrigno Estate I figured out I could at least put a down payment on it, and still have enough money left over for the reception in Santa Barbara...
Zooey: What are you talking about, what reception?
Peter Klaven: So, my plan is to create this cluster of live/work lofts all along the perimeter here. And - come here - also I'm planning this neighborhoody, kind of dining and retail area in the central square. You know I even had this thought that you, Denise, and Haley could open up a second location for your store...
Zooey: Really? Because Denise keeps talking about wanting to open up another branch.
Peter Klaven: Well it would be great. I I look, the land is a little pricey, so I couldn't develop it right away. But once I sell the Ferrigno Estate I figured out I could at least put a down payment on it, and still have enough money left over for the reception in Santa Barbara...
Zooey: What are you talking about, what reception?
Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!
Peter Klaven: Did you know that the best night I've had in the last 5 years is a night that Zooey and I split a bottle of wine, we made a summer salad and watched "Chocolat" together?
Sydney Fife: You mean "Chocolate"?
Peter Klaven: Chocolat.
Sydney Fife: Chocolate with Johnny Depp.
Peter Klaven: Chocolat.
Sydney Fife: You're not fucking French Pete, it's called "Chocolate".
Peter Klaven: Chocolate's got an 'E' on at the end.
Sydney Fife: That was your favorite night?
Peter Klaven: Yes.
Sydney Fife: Your best night in 5 years is watching "Chocolate" with Johnny Depp? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Peter Klaven: With the combination of wine and summer salad and "Chocolat", yeah!
Sydney Fife: [Quietly] You should be embarrassed.
Sydney Fife: You mean "Chocolate"?
Peter Klaven: Chocolat.
Sydney Fife: Chocolate with Johnny Depp.
Peter Klaven: Chocolat.
Sydney Fife: You're not fucking French Pete, it's called "Chocolate".
Peter Klaven: Chocolate's got an 'E' on at the end.
Sydney Fife: That was your favorite night?
Peter Klaven: Yes.
Sydney Fife: Your best night in 5 years is watching "Chocolate" with Johnny Depp? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Peter Klaven: With the combination of wine and summer salad and "Chocolat", yeah!
Sydney Fife: [Quietly] You should be embarrassed.
Sydney Fife: [Extended Scene] And for the record, I saw Chocolat. Just delightful.
Peter Klaven: It is, right?
Sydney Fife: Yeah. I didn't expect to like it but Johnny Depp is just so versatile and winning.
Peter Klaven: He's the best, he's the best.
Sydney Fife: From Jump Street to Fleet Street, the man is a revelation.
Peter Klaven: Depp wins you over.
Sydney Fife: I hated him in Don Juan DeMarco so much I never gave him a second chance - but this time he's Gilbert Great.
Peter Klaven: You don't think you're gonna like it but then you do because he's so good.
Sydney Fife: You know what I like is that he's willing to discard conventional feelings about how to carry yourself as a movie star and live the way that he wants to.
Peter Klaven: You really get the feeling he does what he wants to do. It's amazing. He was in Platoon. Check out Donnie Brasco.
Sydney Fife: Brasco, my God.
Peter Klaven: I like Ed Wood, too.
Sydney Fife: That guy can act. The combination of the chocolate and his acting, it lulled me into acquiescence.
[Zooey yawns]
Peter Klaven: So many times those romantic comedies with food don't work for me. Like Water for Chocolate.
Sydney Fife: Ah, Como Agua Para Chocolate. I read it in the original Spanish.
Peter Klaven: Big Night's good too. That's another movie with food.
Sydney Fife: Yeah. That's with Joe Mantegna?
Peter Klaven: No, that's Stanley Tucci.
Sydney Fife: He's great. He's an actor's actor.
[Barry sneaks out to take a call]
Peter Klaven: Yeah, I think so too. As is Tony Shalhoub.
Sydney Fife: Yeah.
Peter Klaven: Depp, man. Did you know he modelled Jack Sparrow after Keith Richard? From the Rolling Stone, from Rolling Stones.
Sydney Fife: Same old Pete.
Peter Klaven: It is, right?
Sydney Fife: Yeah. I didn't expect to like it but Johnny Depp is just so versatile and winning.
Peter Klaven: He's the best, he's the best.
Sydney Fife: From Jump Street to Fleet Street, the man is a revelation.
Peter Klaven: Depp wins you over.
Sydney Fife: I hated him in Don Juan DeMarco so much I never gave him a second chance - but this time he's Gilbert Great.
Peter Klaven: You don't think you're gonna like it but then you do because he's so good.
Sydney Fife: You know what I like is that he's willing to discard conventional feelings about how to carry yourself as a movie star and live the way that he wants to.
Peter Klaven: You really get the feeling he does what he wants to do. It's amazing. He was in Platoon. Check out Donnie Brasco.
Sydney Fife: Brasco, my God.
Peter Klaven: I like Ed Wood, too.
Sydney Fife: That guy can act. The combination of the chocolate and his acting, it lulled me into acquiescence.
[Zooey yawns]
Peter Klaven: So many times those romantic comedies with food don't work for me. Like Water for Chocolate.
Sydney Fife: Ah, Como Agua Para Chocolate. I read it in the original Spanish.
Peter Klaven: Big Night's good too. That's another movie with food.
Sydney Fife: Yeah. That's with Joe Mantegna?
Peter Klaven: No, that's Stanley Tucci.
Sydney Fife: He's great. He's an actor's actor.
[Barry sneaks out to take a call]
Peter Klaven: Yeah, I think so too. As is Tony Shalhoub.
Sydney Fife: Yeah.
Peter Klaven: Depp, man. Did you know he modelled Jack Sparrow after Keith Richard? From the Rolling Stone, from Rolling Stones.
Sydney Fife: Same old Pete.
