I Love You to Death

I Love You to Death Quotes

Joey owns a pizza parlor, and is married to Rosalee, and is a major womanizer. Rosalee goes to extremes when she finds he has been cheating.

Rosalie Boca: They look like drug addicts.
Devo Nod: Well, they are drug addicts.
Rosalie Boca: Oh my God. You hired drug addicts?
Devo Nod: Who'd you expect me to hire? The Red Cross?
Nadja: They seem like very polite boys.
Rosalie Boca: I don't like having drug addicts in my house.
Nadja: Oh no, Rosalie. Don't think of them as drug addicts. Think of them as killers.
Marlon: If we keep shooting Joey, don't you think he might get suspicious?
Lt. Larry Schooner: Jesus!
Devo Nod: What?
Lt. Larry Schooner: What the hell's going on here?
Rosalie Boca: What's wrong?
Sgt. Carlos Wiley: What is it?
Lt. Larry Schooner: He's been shot in the head!
Nadja: Ah!
Rosalie Boca: Oh!
Devo Nod: Really.
Joey Boca: What.
Nadja: No wonder he has headache!
Lt. Larry Schooner: Headache? he's got a bullet in him! Carlos, get an ambulance over here right away.
[see's Devo sneaking away]
Lt. Larry Schooner: Devo!
Devo Nod: ...I was gonna get a band-aid... for Joey...
Harlan James: This is only two hun'erd. We was promised five.
Devo Nod: For killing him five, for wounding him two.
Harlan James: You wanted me to shoot him so I shot him.
Nadja: You woke him up! What good is that?
Marlon: If we're gonna waste the dude, we oughta get paid for it. I mean, that's the American way, ain't it?
Devo Nod: I need to collect myself.
[goes into the closet, closes the door and talks to himself]
Devo Nod: Alright. Its you and I. No way out. Get your shit together. Okay? Okay. Let's go.
[Opens door to a confused Rosalie and Nadja]
Joey Boca: When somebody shoot you in the head it make you think.
Rosalie Boca: [after Devo has shot Joey] Are you alright?
Devo Nod: Am I alright? Am *I* al...? Why are you asking me if I'm alright? He's the one who got shot!
[Discussing hiring a hit man to kill Joey]
Devo Nod: How much can we pay?
Rosalie Boca: As much as we have to.
[Rosalie exits]
Nadja: Yeah, you know, not too much. Try for discount.
Joey Boca: I cheated on my wife.
Priest: You committed adultery?
Joey Boca: Yes
Priest: How many times?
Joey Boca: Uh... 5 times the last 2 weeks... wait, no, that's wrong... it was uh... it was uh, 4 times this week, uh... with 3 women, and uh... 3 times last week with 2 other women... wow... plus one of the women from this week was the same as last week... or maybe 2 of the women was the same... so uh... I guess that uh... makes uh... what, uh... I dunno, 7 times... I mean it was more than uh... 7 times, father, it was, it was more like uh... 10 or 12 times but, you know, it was like on uh... 7 different occasions uh... only with 5 different women uh... uh... but uh... some of the women eh... more than once uh... some of them, quite a few times uh... in fact uh... it's hard to say father, I, I didn't exactly keep count but uh... uh, let let's say a dozen times in the last 2 weeks, uh... give or take a few times...
Nadja: Last week on TV, I heard about a woman who stabbed her husband twenty-seven times. And you know why? Because he refused to put the top back on the mustard jar. Twenty-seven times! Can you imagine?
Nadja: I am her mother. I do what I want.
Marlon: Is that legal... having sex with a kangaroo?
[to Joey]
Nadja: You know, I like you once. Maybe someday I like you again.
Harlan James, Marlon: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
Harlan James, Marlon: And to the republic...
Harlan James: ...under one invisible nation...
Marlon: ...to nations under God whose...
Harlan James: ...spacious skies and amber graves of liberty for all...
Marlon: ...deliver us from freedom.
Rosalie Boca: What happened? Joey Boca happened
Lacey: Joey, if you're such a good Catholic, why do you commit adultery?
Joey Boca: I'm a man; I got a lot of hormones in my body.
Harlan James: [Marlon holds bat up to Joey, ready to hit him] Well, look at that.
Marlon: What?
Harlan James: A Reggie Jackson signed bat.
Marlon: Whoa, man. Awesome.
Marlon, Harlan James: Reggie, Reggie, REGGIE, REGGIE!
Harlan James: How many homers has he hit, like... in lifetime?
Marlon: Whoa man, he's the best.
Harlan James: Wow, man.
Marlon: I don't know...
[pause]
Marlon: A bunch.
Devo Nod: Oh no, please, that's *my* job... taking care of the maggots.
Rosalie Boca: We didn't do it. I swear to God we didn't. We found him outside, on the lawn...
Devo Nod: ...Right outside...
Rosalie Boca: ...He was lying there, someone had shot him, and thrown him on the lawn...
Nadja: Yeah, it was a mess...
Rosalie Boca: ...It was terrible. So we brought him inside and we... we put him in bed... and... yep... It must have been the Mafia.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Mafia?
Devo Nod: The Mafia.
Nadja: Yeah. Joey was Italian.
Rosalie Boca: He *is* Italian.
Devo Nod: He *is* Italian.
Marlon: Whose this?
Harlan James: The Guy.
Marlon: The Guy?
Harlan James: You know, Joey.
Marlon: Oh, THAT guy.
Devo Nod: Mystic crystal let it shine, spikes just like a porcupine.
Joey Boca: Rosalie!
Rosalie Boca: What?
Joey Boca: I feel better now. I had a good crap. That's all I needed.
Joey Boca: I cheated on my wife.
Priest: You committed adultery?
Joey Boca: Yes.
Priest: How many times?
Joey Boca: Uh... 5 times the last 2 weeks... wait, no, that's wrong... it was uh... it was uh, 4 times this week, uh... with 3 women, and uh... 3 times last week with 2 other women... wow... plus one of the women from this week was the same as last week... or maybe 2 of the women was the same... so uh... I guess that uh... makes uh... what, uh... I dunno, 7 times... I mean it was more than uh... 7 times, father, it was, it was more like uh... 10 or 12 times but, you know, it was like on uh... 7 different occasions uh... only with 5 different women uh... uh... but uh... some of the women eh... more than once uh... some of them, quite a few times uh... in fact uh... it's hard to say father, I, I didn't exactly keep count but uh... uh, let let's say a dozen times in the last 2 weeks, uh... give or take a few times...
Joey Boca: Mo... no... poly.
Reporter: [to Harlan and Marlon] Mr. James, Mr. James. What can you tell us?
Marlon: Get the fuck away from me! Get those fuckin' microphones out of my face!
Harlan James: [to the reporters] Hey, what's going on? Is this about Joey? He dead or what?
Marlon: [to Harlan] Who's Joey?
Harlan James: He's the guy. The "guy".
Marlon: Oh... yeah. The Guy. THAT guy. Fuck!
Reporter: He's still alive. Why? What do you know about it?
Harlan James: Oh... nothing.
Marlon: Reggie... Reggie... Reggie.
Joey Boca: C'mon ladies, let's go... Monnnnnopoleeee!"

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