Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Jim Gaffigan — American Comedian born on July 07, 1966,

James Christopher "Jim" Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice-over artist, and author. His humor largely revolves around fatherhood, observations, and food. He is also regarded as a "clean" comic, using little profanity in his routines. He has had several successful comedy specials, including Mr. Universe and Jim Gaffigan:Obsessed, both of which received Grammy nominations. His memoir, Dad Is Fat and his most recent book, Food: A Love Story, are both published by Crown Publishers. He co-created and currently stars in a TV Land television series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show... (wikipedia)

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.

Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Login with