The comic misadventures of a girl enduring adolescence with her two best friends and dysfunctional family.

Miranda: [Interrupting Lizzie] You weren't thinking about putting Ethan and Larry in the same sentence?
Gordo: You just did.
Gordo: [to Lizzie] Parents scrape and sacrifice to provide us with shelter, support and guidance, and in return, we have as little to do with them as possible. It's nature's law.
Miranda: Yeah. It's like you come home and they ask, "What did you do today?" and we say "Mmm, nothing." And they ask, "Well, what are you doing tonight?" 'n we say, "I dunno!" And they ask, "Why don't you ever talk to us?" We say, "Why can't you just leave me alone!" And you run upstairs.
Gordo: As little communication as possible. It prepares us for marriage.
Jo McGuire: Well, I can't speak for Lanny.
Sam McGuire: Somebody's got to.
Miranda: You smell like a... a pine tree.
Gordo: That's because I'm wearing a car air freshener.
[he takes it out from under his T-shirt and shows it to her]
Lizzie: Time for go to bed.
[animated Lizzie: as Lizzie gets mouth-to-mouth from Larry Tudgeman]
Lizzie: [screaming] Let me die!
Gordo: Yeah, well, there's lots of weird stuff in this world - tofu bacon, hairless cats, country music.