Night of the Comet

Night of the Comet Quotes

A comet wipes out most of life on Earth, leaving two Valley Girls to fight the evil types who survive.

Samantha: Nice car.
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Thanks, I have 23 of them.
[after shooting one of his friends]
Regina Belmont: You're crazy!
Willy: I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck.
[When her MAC-10 jams while target shooting]
Samantha: Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.
Dr. Carter, Project Chief: Are you pregnant?
Regina Belmont: No. Thought I was once.
Dr. Carter, Project Chief: That's not important.
Regina Belmont: Longest three weeks of my life.
Regina Belmont: C'mon Hector, the MAC-10 submachine gun was practically designed for housewives.
Regina Belmont: Have you ever been hit with Dots, Mel? Milk Duds? Those things hurt!
Willy: If bachlorette number one isn't out here in half a tick I'm gonna ice bachlorette number two, got it?
Samantha: Doris, Reggie's on the phone.
Doris Belmont: She's not having car trouble?
Samantha: She's going to be out all night with her science class at the observatory. I know all about it.
Regina Belmont: Yeah. Hi, Doris.
Doris Belmont: What's this about a science class, Regina?
Regina Belmont: Well, you want me to do better in science don't you?
Doris Belmont: I want you home in 5 minutes after you finish work. If you want to watch the comet you can do it here.
Regina Belmont: Look, Doris. Like, I'm 18 okay? And I can watch the comet where ever I want to watch the comet.
Party Guest: In 1910, Halley's Comet Returned. Everyone thought they were going to die then.
Regina Belmont: [sitting on police car] What are you going to do when your complexion freaks out? Dermatologist is dead, ya know?
Samantha: I know, and I'm getting a rash or something too.
Regina Belmont: Oh, God! You and your rashes!
Samantha: Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous.
Sarah: [to the scientist who want her to breathe nitrous oxide] I don't know, my parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers.
Regina Belmont: [Regina comes in to rescue the kids with a revolver] Hey, get your hands up.
[the scientists and kids raise their hands and Regina picks up the toy bunny Sarah dropped]
Regina Belmont: What are you guys doing?
Sarah: They said if we breathe this, we can go to the North Pole to see Santa Clause.
Regina Belmont: That's so sick!
Samantha: [Samantha appears out of nowhere] Hey!
[Regina turns and fires at the voice, Samantha narrowly ducks and avoids the shot]
Samantha: Holy shit!
Brian, Survivor Child: Whoa.
Regina Belmont: Sam?
Samantha: [with her hands up] I give, I give.
Regina Belmont: They said you were dead!
Samantha: [with a triumphant smile] They were exaggerating totally.
Dr. Carter, Project Chief: Have you ever had hepatitis?
Regina Belmont: No. I had "mono" once though.
Samantha: So you guys are geniuses?
Audrey: Yeah - or we thought we were.
Samantha: We had a couple of geniuses at school...
Samantha: ...they're both wimps.
[Passes out]
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: [Danny stops next to Samantha after he almost hit her with his Mercedes convertible] Gawd, I'm sorry but you shouldn't cross against the light like that. Hey, you guys are survivors too, huh?
Samantha: [looks upward and mouths] thank you
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: What?
Samantha: Nothing. Great car!
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: thanks, I have 23 of em', you want to go for a ride?
Samantha: More than you know.
Hector Gomez: [to Regina] We don't know anything about this guy. Where's he from? What's his name?
Samantha: What's your name?
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Danny Mason Keener.
Samantha: [to the others] Danny Mason Keener, ok?
Regina Belmont: Yeah, alright, well, just be back by midnight, ok?
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Midnight?
Samantha: The burden of civilization is on us, ok?
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Oh yeah. Bitchin', isn't it?
[last lines]
Davenport: [coaxing the children for a shot] You'll just fall asleep and then you'll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Brian, Survivor Child: I don't believe in Santa Claus.
Dr. Carter, Project Chief: What? You don't believe in Santa?
Samantha: [calling across the street to the others after Regina pushes the crosswalk button] What are you waiting for?
Hector Gomez: We're waiting for the light to change.
Regina Belmont: We DO NOT cross against the light!
Samantha: [looks at the red crosswalk light] Are you nuts, auntie Regina?
Regina Belmont: [sighs] You may as well face the facts Samantha. The whole burden of civilization has fallen upon us.
Samantha: What's that supposed to mean?
Regina Belmont: It MEANS we do not cross against the light!
Samantha: [walks out into the street] That's totally stupid, there's nobody here! See, we're talking ghost town!
Regina Belmont: [a convertible comes speeding around the corner, Samantha jumps out of the way to avoid getting hit, Regina says to Brian] See what happens?
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: [the convertible turns around and comes to a stop by Samantha] Gawd, I'm sorry but you shouldn't cross against the light like that.
Sarah: I don't know, my parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers.
Samantha: They're around.
Regina Belmont: They're not around.
Samantha: Look, if you're trying to scare me, you're doing it okay?
Regina Belmont: I'm not trying to scare you.
Samantha: Then stop it!
Regina Belmont: I'm not doing it! You try calling someone. Not just your pep squad. Anyone. Nobody's home!
Guard #2: She's dead.
Hector Gomez: Hell, she ain't dead. This doctor shot her up with sodium pentothal to make this fellow think she was dead. So you wouldn't suck the blood outta her, you bastard.
Willy: Let's play a game, it's called scary noises.
Stock Boy: Attention K-mart shoppers!
Larry: If he calls, you tell him that I'm on my way down there and that I'm very, very, very, very pissed!
Regina Belmont: What about my fifteen bucks?
Larry: Tell him you're pissed, too!
Samantha: [with mock sincerity] The burden of civilization is upon us...
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Ohhh.
[smiling]
Danny Mason Kenner aka DMK: Bitchin', isn't it?
Samantha: You were born with an asshole, Doris, you don't need Chuck.
Regina Belmont: DMK? Who the hell is DMK?
Regina Belmont: [running to Hector's car] Come on kids!
Hector Gomez: Who are the kids?
Brian, Survivor Child: I'm Brian!
Sarah: I'm Sarah!
Regina Belmont: Yeah, and I'm aunt Reg, and that's aunt Sam, and that's uncle Hector.
Sarah: Can I have my bunny?
Regina Belmont: In a minute! Beat feet uncle Hector.
Hector Gomez: Uncle Hector?
Sarah: Hey, it's MY bunny you know.
Hector Gomez: [Yelling at think tank zombies] Think tank, huh?
[Flipping them off]
Hector Gomez: Think on this!
Samantha: You're not gonna blame me because the phone went dead. I'm not the phone company. Nobody's the phone company anymore!
Regina Belmont: That's the end of you, DMK! You're history!
Samantha: I just had it out with Doris once and for all again.
Willy: You wouldn't believe what we want from you. In your worst nightmare you wouldn't believe.
[the Monster Kid smashes his way through the door with his fists]
Hector Gomez: Geez! There goes the neighborhood.
Regina Belmont: Do you have your MasterCard on you?
Samantha: No.
Regina Belmont: Good, because you don't need it. THE STORES ARE OPEN!
Mel: I want you to take this flashlight and walk the house.
Regina Belmont: But Mel, they throw things at me!
Mel: I don't want those weirdos ripping up the seats.
Regina Belmont: Have you ever been hit with Dots? Milk Duds? Those things hurt you know.
Mel: Take flashlight. Walk house. Now!
[the Monster jumps out from the Alley]
Regina Belmont: Whoa... what is this, trick or treat?
Monster in Alley: Come here!
Regina Belmont: Wh-what?
Monster in Alley: COME HERE!
Regina Belmont: "Come here" your ass!

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