Paul Quotes
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.
Clive Gollings: [Putting the phone to his ear] It's ringing.
Paul: [Out of view] I wouldn't do that if I were you
[Clive and Graham turn around]
Paul: Put... the phone... down!
Clive Gollings: [Falling backwards fainting] Ha ha ha ha ha!
Paul: Aw fuck me.
Graeme Willy: [Looks to his right, then down, and then back at the approching alien] What did you do to him?
Paul: I didn't do anything to him - he fainted!
Graeme Willy: But you made him faint!
Paul: It's not like I set my phaser to faint!
Graeme Willy: You've got a phaser?
Paul: [Out of view] I wouldn't do that if I were you
[Clive and Graham turn around]
Paul: Put... the phone... down!
Clive Gollings: [Falling backwards fainting] Ha ha ha ha ha!
Paul: Aw fuck me.
Graeme Willy: [Looks to his right, then down, and then back at the approching alien] What did you do to him?
Paul: I didn't do anything to him - he fainted!
Graeme Willy: But you made him faint!
Paul: It's not like I set my phaser to faint!
Graeme Willy: You've got a phaser?
Paul: [1980 collaboration phone call] Okay Steven, how 'bout cellular revivification?
Steven Spielberg: I don't know what that is.
Paul: Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
Steven Spielberg: What's that mean?
Paul: It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
Steven Spielberg: Yeah right, healing. Like by touch or something like that. Like maybe his finger lights up on the end when he reaches out and touches?
Paul: Maybe... You know, sometimes I find less is more.
Steven Spielberg: Hey, trust me.
Steven Spielberg: I don't know what that is.
Paul: Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
Steven Spielberg: What's that mean?
Paul: It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
Steven Spielberg: Yeah right, healing. Like by touch or something like that. Like maybe his finger lights up on the end when he reaches out and touches?
Paul: Maybe... You know, sometimes I find less is more.
Steven Spielberg: Hey, trust me.
The Big Guy: Haggard.
Agent Zoil: Zoil.
The Big Guy: Where are the other two?
Agent Zoil: One crashed and burned, the other just burned.
The Big Guy: Jesus Christ! This has been one fuck-up after another. I should have handled this myself.
Agent Zoil: I am very close. You give me one hour.
The Big Guy: An hour? I'll be eating canapès with the governor in an hour. I need this wrapped up now!
Agent Zoil: No, no. They're mine, damn it. I'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
The Big Guy: Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big gun...
[Zoil shoots the radio]
Agent Zoil: Boring conversation anyway.
Agent Zoil: Zoil.
The Big Guy: Where are the other two?
Agent Zoil: One crashed and burned, the other just burned.
The Big Guy: Jesus Christ! This has been one fuck-up after another. I should have handled this myself.
Agent Zoil: I am very close. You give me one hour.
The Big Guy: An hour? I'll be eating canapès with the governor in an hour. I need this wrapped up now!
Agent Zoil: No, no. They're mine, damn it. I'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
The Big Guy: Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big gun...
[Zoil shoots the radio]
Agent Zoil: Boring conversation anyway.
Ruth Buggs: Fuck-a-roo, that was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had.
Paul: I got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth? Look, cursing's fun, you just gotta pick your moments, okay?
Graeme Willy: Hey, maybe we should stop for some food, is anybody hungry?
Paul: Fuck yeeah!
Ruth Buggs: You bet your big fat cock I am!
Paul: Nice!
Paul: I got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth? Look, cursing's fun, you just gotta pick your moments, okay?
Graeme Willy: Hey, maybe we should stop for some food, is anybody hungry?
Paul: Fuck yeeah!
Ruth Buggs: You bet your big fat cock I am!
Paul: Nice!
Ruth Buggs: [after 'partaking'] I'm hungry. We should cook up some sausages. Do we have any sausages?
Graeme Willy: Uhh...
Ruth Buggs: What do you mean by that? Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages? Ohh I have wasps in my brain!
Paul: She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time.
Graeme Willy: Uhh...
Ruth Buggs: What do you mean by that? Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages? Ohh I have wasps in my brain!
Paul: She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time.
State Trooper: Where are you boys from?
Clive Gollings: ...England.
State Trooper: I heard about that place: no guns.
Graeme Willy: Not many...
Clive Gollings: No, not really, just... farmers.
State Trooper: Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?
Graeme Willy: [Uncomfortable] Well they don't...
Clive Gollings: They- they try not to...
[the state trooper stares at them suspiciously]
Gas Station Attendant: [Cash register rings, breaking the suspense] $15.58.
Graeme Willy: Um, twenty, keep the change... give it to charity or something.
[They hastily exit the store]
Clive Gollings: ...England.
State Trooper: I heard about that place: no guns.
Graeme Willy: Not many...
Clive Gollings: No, not really, just... farmers.
State Trooper: Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?
Graeme Willy: [Uncomfortable] Well they don't...
Clive Gollings: They- they try not to...
[the state trooper stares at them suspiciously]
Gas Station Attendant: [Cash register rings, breaking the suspense] $15.58.
Graeme Willy: Um, twenty, keep the change... give it to charity or something.
[They hastily exit the store]
Haggard: [Looking at Clive's novel] What is this, nerd porn?
Graeme Willy: Oh, no, that's Clive's...
Clive Gollings: It's my novel.
Haggard: [Looking at an alien on the cover] Ha! Three tits!
O'Reilly: That's awesome. You guys should have given her four tits.
Graeme Willy: [Looking disgusted] That's just sick.
O'Reilly: I was just sayin'...
Graeme Willy: Oh, no, that's Clive's...
Clive Gollings: It's my novel.
Haggard: [Looking at an alien on the cover] Ha! Three tits!
O'Reilly: That's awesome. You guys should have given her four tits.
Graeme Willy: [Looking disgusted] That's just sick.
O'Reilly: I was just sayin'...
Graeme Willy: Paul, what happens if you get caught?
Paul: Graeme, they are going to cut out my brain... Yeah it's fucked... kinda a buzz kill... Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive when did you last get laid?
Clive Gollings: Uh. Collectormania London '08... Ewok chick.
Paul: [sings] Clive likes boning space bears!
Paul: Graeme, they are going to cut out my brain... Yeah it's fucked... kinda a buzz kill... Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive when did you last get laid?
Clive Gollings: Uh. Collectormania London '08... Ewok chick.
Paul: [sings] Clive likes boning space bears!
