Can't Buy Me Love Quotes
A nerdy outcast secretly pays the most popular girl in school one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend.
Quint: [to Ronald] Oh, Return of the Living Dred.
Ronald Miller: [walks over with a bat] Why don't you lay off?
Quint: Why don't you go back where you belong, hose head.
Ronald Miller: Take your hands off Kenneth or I'll break your arm. Your pitching arm.
Quint: Oh yeah? Don't make me laugh, lawn boy.
Ronald Miller: Let go. NOW!
[slams the table with the bat]
Quint: [Let's Kenneth go]
Ronald Miller: You broke your arm once before, remember? You fell out of our tree house. Kenneth picked you up and we carried you 12 blocks to the hospital.
Kenneth Wurman: Yeah, you cried all the way.
Ronald Miller: We were all friends then, remember? And now you want to end his life because he's talking to Patty on your side of the cafeteria. Oh man, that's stupid. I know cuz that's where I wanted to be. On your side, with your crowd. But I messed up. See, I tried to buy my way in. But Kenneth, he's not trying to buy anybody. He's just trying to make friends *being* *himself*. Cools, Nerds, your side, my side, man it's all bullshit. It's just tough enough to be yourself.
Ronald Miller: [walks over with a bat] Why don't you lay off?
Quint: Why don't you go back where you belong, hose head.
Ronald Miller: Take your hands off Kenneth or I'll break your arm. Your pitching arm.
Quint: Oh yeah? Don't make me laugh, lawn boy.
Ronald Miller: Let go. NOW!
[slams the table with the bat]
Quint: [Let's Kenneth go]
Ronald Miller: You broke your arm once before, remember? You fell out of our tree house. Kenneth picked you up and we carried you 12 blocks to the hospital.
Kenneth Wurman: Yeah, you cried all the way.
Ronald Miller: We were all friends then, remember? And now you want to end his life because he's talking to Patty on your side of the cafeteria. Oh man, that's stupid. I know cuz that's where I wanted to be. On your side, with your crowd. But I messed up. See, I tried to buy my way in. But Kenneth, he's not trying to buy anybody. He's just trying to make friends *being* *himself*. Cools, Nerds, your side, my side, man it's all bullshit. It's just tough enough to be yourself.
Chuckie Miller: You nuked my brother.
Cindy Mancini: What?
Chuckie Miller: You took him from "geek" status to "king" status to no status.
Cindy Mancini: Chuckie Miller, right? He resorted to sending his messenger boy?
Chuckie Miller: Boy? I see no boy here.
[Cindy puts powder on his face]
Chuckie Miller: You think you shut me up?
Cindy Mancini: I didn't? Well, let me try again.
[attempts to put lipstick on Chuckie]
Chuckie Miller: [leaves]
[says to his friends]
Chuckie Miller: Babe said it was good for my complexion.
Cindy Mancini: What?
Chuckie Miller: You took him from "geek" status to "king" status to no status.
Cindy Mancini: Chuckie Miller, right? He resorted to sending his messenger boy?
Chuckie Miller: Boy? I see no boy here.
[Cindy puts powder on his face]
Chuckie Miller: You think you shut me up?
Cindy Mancini: I didn't? Well, let me try again.
[attempts to put lipstick on Chuckie]
Chuckie Miller: [leaves]
[says to his friends]
Chuckie Miller: Babe said it was good for my complexion.
Cindy Mancini: You! Even Bobby thinks we went out. Great, huh? Ha! All of you thought we were a couple. What a joke!... Ronald Miller paid me 1,000 bucks to pretend I liked him. What a deal, huh? $1,000 to go out with him for a month. This guy. Oh, God. He bought me. And he bought all of you. He was sick and tired of being a nobody. Yeah, and he said that all of you guys would worship him if we went out. And I didn't believe that. I was, like, no way! And he was right! No, leave me alone. He was right. Our little plan worked, didn't it, Ronald? The dance. That stupid dance! What a bunch of followers you guys are. I mean, at least I got... At least I got paid.
Cindy Mancini: Are you high?
Ronald Miller: I want to rent you.
Cindy Mancini: You want to rent me?
Ronald Miller: Yeah. You pretend you like me and we go out for a few weeks... and that will make me popular.
Cindy Mancini: Just going out with me is not gonna make you popular.
Ronald Miller: Well I have a thousand dollars that says it will.
Cindy Mancini: I think you've mowed one too many lawns!
Ronald Miller: I want to rent you.
Cindy Mancini: You want to rent me?
Ronald Miller: Yeah. You pretend you like me and we go out for a few weeks... and that will make me popular.
Cindy Mancini: Just going out with me is not gonna make you popular.
Ronald Miller: Well I have a thousand dollars that says it will.
Cindy Mancini: I think you've mowed one too many lawns!
[Ronald walks the cool hallway for the first time and begin to talk to the girls]
Patty: Didn't you like, used to mow our lawn?
Ronald Miller: Yes, and you have the nicest pair of rhododendrons in town!
Patty: Rhodo-who's?
Cindy Mancini: Guys, I'll meet you at home.
Barbara: What did he say?
Patty: I don't care! I dig his shirt...
Patty: Didn't you like, used to mow our lawn?
Ronald Miller: Yes, and you have the nicest pair of rhododendrons in town!
Patty: Rhodo-who's?
Cindy Mancini: Guys, I'll meet you at home.
Barbara: What did he say?
Patty: I don't care! I dig his shirt...
Ronald Miller: We do have a lot of great memories but be honest... wouldn't you like to be popular?
Kenneth Wurman: And have to be in a clique... no.
Ronald Miller: What happened to us? We were all friends in elementary.
Kenneth Wurman: That's because we were all forced to be in the same room together. But, hey, Junior high, high school. Forget it. Jocks became Jocks. Cheerleaders became cheerleaders. We became us. I like us.
Kenneth Wurman: And have to be in a clique... no.
Ronald Miller: What happened to us? We were all friends in elementary.
Kenneth Wurman: That's because we were all forced to be in the same room together. But, hey, Junior high, high school. Forget it. Jocks became Jocks. Cheerleaders became cheerleaders. We became us. I like us.
Chuckie Miller: What we have here is something I Just learned called the law of supply and demand. I shall supply you this remote control, but I'm going to demand, say, uh, two bucks.
Ronald Miller: Wrong! That is not how the economic theory works.
Chuckie Miller: Look, I learned it in seventh grade, not Harvard.
Ronald Miller: Okay, let me give you the theory of relativity. Either you put on Bandstand now, or I have one less relative.
Chuckie Miller: I'll put on Bandstand Just for you
Ronald Miller: Wrong! That is not how the economic theory works.
Chuckie Miller: Look, I learned it in seventh grade, not Harvard.
Ronald Miller: Okay, let me give you the theory of relativity. Either you put on Bandstand now, or I have one less relative.
Chuckie Miller: I'll put on Bandstand Just for you
[Dinner conversation at the Millers on report card day]
Ronald Miller: Here is the primate example. You raise a doll-chopping homicidal maniac, and what do you do every time you see him? You give him money. Great!
Chuckie Miller: Chillin!
Rons Dad: Shut up, Chuck!
Chuckie Miller: I was talking to Ma!
Rons Mom: Shut up, Chuck!
Ronald Miller: Here is the primate example. You raise a doll-chopping homicidal maniac, and what do you do every time you see him? You give him money. Great!
Chuckie Miller: Chillin!
Rons Dad: Shut up, Chuck!
Chuckie Miller: I was talking to Ma!
Rons Mom: Shut up, Chuck!
