House of the Dead Quotes
A group of college students go to a rave on a mysterious island, but get trapped there because it's taken over by blood-feasting zombies.
Capt. Victor Kirk: Where ya headin', girls? Huh?
Simon: It's, uh, somewhere in the San Juans. You must know where that is, right Skipper?
Salish: [looks at map] You crazy?
[to Kirk]
Salish: They crazy!
Capt. Victor Kirk: No, I don't think so.
Simon: Excuse me?
Capt. Victor Kirk: I said forget it.
Salish: Yeah, forget it! Forget it! That means stop talkin' and start walkin'!
Simon: Why?
Salish: Why? Why? Why? They always ask why!
Capt. Victor Kirk: You know what they call this island? 'Isla del Muerte'
Salish: Muerte. That's Spanish for 'death.' In case you don't speak Mexican.
Simon: Listen, pal. I got an island to catch and if this is a lame attempt to hit me up for more cash...
Capt. Victor Kirk: No, it ain't!
Salish: There ain't enough cash in the world to make us go back there. Nah, keep the cash! Keep the cash!
Simon: It's, uh, somewhere in the San Juans. You must know where that is, right Skipper?
Salish: [looks at map] You crazy?
[to Kirk]
Salish: They crazy!
Capt. Victor Kirk: No, I don't think so.
Simon: Excuse me?
Capt. Victor Kirk: I said forget it.
Salish: Yeah, forget it! Forget it! That means stop talkin' and start walkin'!
Simon: Why?
Salish: Why? Why? Why? They always ask why!
Capt. Victor Kirk: You know what they call this island? 'Isla del Muerte'
Salish: Muerte. That's Spanish for 'death.' In case you don't speak Mexican.
Simon: Listen, pal. I got an island to catch and if this is a lame attempt to hit me up for more cash...
Capt. Victor Kirk: No, it ain't!
Salish: There ain't enough cash in the world to make us go back there. Nah, keep the cash! Keep the cash!
Simon: [Rudy and Simon just freed Greg from the knocked-over porta-potty as he runs around covered in feces]
[In the verge of laughter]
Simon: Dude, what the fuck happened to you?
Greg: I was in there and then frickn'- the banging, an the frickn' thing fell over and I was stuck inside!
Simon: You're in deep shit, huh?
[In the verge of laughter]
Simon: Dude, what the fuck happened to you?
Greg: I was in there and then frickn'- the banging, an the frickn' thing fell over and I was stuck inside!
Simon: You're in deep shit, huh?
Castillo: [from the Funny Version] Come closer, Captain. I cannot see your face.
[pause]
Castillo: Are you afraid, Captain?
[Captain takes one step closer to Castillo; annoyed]
Castillo: Jesus... closer.
[Captain gets closer]
Castillo: A bit closer... good. Now, where is my cappuccino?
Captain: We have no more foam, father.
Castillo: [Enraged] No... more... FOAM? You know what I am like without the foam! I have waited 10 years for this cappuccino! I get really angry without sex and a cappuccino with some foam. I'm getting another captain.
[chokes the Captain to death]
[pause]
Castillo: Are you afraid, Captain?
[Captain takes one step closer to Castillo; annoyed]
Castillo: Jesus... closer.
[Captain gets closer]
Castillo: A bit closer... good. Now, where is my cappuccino?
Captain: We have no more foam, father.
Castillo: [Enraged] No... more... FOAM? You know what I am like without the foam! I have waited 10 years for this cappuccino! I get really angry without sex and a cappuccino with some foam. I'm getting another captain.
[chokes the Captain to death]
Rudy: [Kirk has just opened up a crate seemingly containing only cigars] You gotta be kidding me.
Alicia: This is why you had Casper on your ass? You're smuggling Cuban cigars?
Capt. Victor Kirk: Among other things...
Jordan Casper: [Casper enters] Still hard-at-work smuggling I see, Victor.
Capt. Victor Kirk: Don't you just wish you could prove that, Jordan?
Jordan Casper: What are these, then?
Capt. Victor Kirk: [Lying] Well, funny thing is we just found them laying on the beach. Crazy, huh?
Alicia: This is why you had Casper on your ass? You're smuggling Cuban cigars?
Capt. Victor Kirk: Among other things...
Jordan Casper: [Casper enters] Still hard-at-work smuggling I see, Victor.
Capt. Victor Kirk: Don't you just wish you could prove that, Jordan?
Jordan Casper: What are these, then?
Capt. Victor Kirk: [Lying] Well, funny thing is we just found them laying on the beach. Crazy, huh?
Jordan Casper: Look, I don't know what's going on here, okay? What I do know is that I got to get you all off this island. How did you get here?
Rudy: The boat, like everyone else. But it's gone, it's been destroyed.
Alicia: [Referring to herself, Simon, Karma, Greg, & Cynthia] We didn't. We came on the Lazarus with Kirk.
Jordan Casper: Where is he?
Alicia: At the dock by the beach.
Jordan Casper: Can you take me to him?
Alicia: Why, are you gonna arrest him?
Jordan Casper: Not at the moment. Right now, I need to get you all away from here as soon as possible.
Rudy: The boat, like everyone else. But it's gone, it's been destroyed.
Alicia: [Referring to herself, Simon, Karma, Greg, & Cynthia] We didn't. We came on the Lazarus with Kirk.
Jordan Casper: Where is he?
Alicia: At the dock by the beach.
Jordan Casper: Can you take me to him?
Alicia: Why, are you gonna arrest him?
Jordan Casper: Not at the moment. Right now, I need to get you all away from here as soon as possible.
Rudy: [as Hugh is playing footage from the zombie attack at the rave] Everyone was partying... you know, drinking, just having fun. Then, these things came and attacked the Rave. Those of us that could get away... did. We ran... we finally got to the boat but it wasn't there. These things just kept coming and coming and killing. We finally got to this house and... tried to hide and that's when you guys came. We thought you were more of them.
Simon: "Them"? Who the hell is "them"?
Rudy: Who? Try "What".
Simon: "Them"? Who the hell is "them"?
Rudy: Who? Try "What".
