My Best Friend's Girl Quotes
Tank faces the ultimate test of friendship when his best friend hires him to take his ex-girlfriend out on a lousy date in order to make her realize how great her former boyfriend is.
Dustin: You need to get her back.
Tank: But I don't deserve her.
Dustin: No, you do. Tank, if you were willing to give her up, trust me, you deserve her.
Tank: That's fucked up. You're right. She's my angel and it's time she knew.
Dustin: Yes. So what's stopping you?
Tank: I propositioned her mother for a blow job.
Tank: But I don't deserve her.
Dustin: No, you do. Tank, if you were willing to give her up, trust me, you deserve her.
Tank: That's fucked up. You're right. She's my angel and it's time she knew.
Dustin: Yes. So what's stopping you?
Tank: I propositioned her mother for a blow job.
Heavily Pierced Kid: Welcome to Cheesus Crust where pizza's a religious experience. How may I ordain your order?
Tank: How is the Pizza of Nazareth?
Heavily Pierced Kid: People worship it.
Hilary: I am deeply offended.
Tank: I know these prices are outrageous which is why I carry my Flavor Savior Card; fifteen percent off to those who eat here religiously.
Tank: How is the Pizza of Nazareth?
Heavily Pierced Kid: People worship it.
Hilary: I am deeply offended.
Tank: I know these prices are outrageous which is why I carry my Flavor Savior Card; fifteen percent off to those who eat here religiously.
Tank: If I do this I'm gonna make it the finest tanking of my career, my bloody fucking masterpiece. Dusty she's going to lose her shit like a shit collector with amnesia. I'm talking about a Turkish twist epic mind FUCK of a tanking. Ok? Her brain is going to be rocking back and forth in the shower for like 3 weeks
[makes whimpering noise]
Tank: . Ok? I'm talking about demonic fucking Tank. I'm going to be flying up into the sky. She's going to cry tears that form call Dusty on the ground. Yes? Am I doin' it? Tell me I'm doin' it!
[makes whimpering noise]
Tank: . Ok? I'm talking about demonic fucking Tank. I'm going to be flying up into the sky. She's going to cry tears that form call Dusty on the ground. Yes? Am I doin' it? Tell me I'm doin' it!
Professor Turner: One of my teaching assistants and a very, very hard working woman.
[teaching assistant exits]
Professor Turner: Last night I fucked her to within an inch of her life. True story. I'm champin' her, head through the headboard, and I flip her over and she screams give me a choker. I play the choir boy and say what's that? Starwiped her five minutes later and she's bugging like an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Now I'm getting scared and as I'm working out the 911 phone call in my head she goes
[makes farting noise motioning away from mid section]
Professor Turner: like an airbag. And that was Tuesday night.
[teaching assistant exits]
Professor Turner: Last night I fucked her to within an inch of her life. True story. I'm champin' her, head through the headboard, and I flip her over and she screams give me a choker. I play the choir boy and say what's that? Starwiped her five minutes later and she's bugging like an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Now I'm getting scared and as I'm working out the 911 phone call in my head she goes
[makes farting noise motioning away from mid section]
Professor Turner: like an airbag. And that was Tuesday night.
Ami: Hey, Alexis sent me to go look for ya so let's go.
Tank: Just havin' a little chit chat with my friend. Takin' a breather, breathing. Fuckin' goddamn what do ya call that shit AJ?
AJ: Afghani kush krytonite.
Tank: Kryptonite killed Superman, I'm just a man.
Ami: You really are like a super special kind of asshole, aren't you?
Tank: Just havin' a little chit chat with my friend. Takin' a breather, breathing. Fuckin' goddamn what do ya call that shit AJ?
AJ: Afghani kush krytonite.
Tank: Kryptonite killed Superman, I'm just a man.
Ami: You really are like a super special kind of asshole, aren't you?
Rachel: Tank, okay since you have yet to ask me anything at all. I should tell you a little bit about myself, I'm a social worker, yea I know what you are thinking, It is challenging work but so important.
Tank: Woah, woah there big time. I'm a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister air filtration systems. That is important work because without air, we cannot live.
Tank: Woah, woah there big time. I'm a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister air filtration systems. That is important work because without air, we cannot live.
