If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
A big part of managing a golf course is managing your swing on the course. A lot of guys can go out and hit a golf ball, but they have no idea how to manage what they do with the ball. I've won as many golf tournaments hitting the ball badly as I have hitting the ball well.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Every golf course should have its carbon rating on the scorecard, alongside its Course Rating, Slope, par and yardage.
You can spend the money on new housing for poor people and the homeless, or you can spend it on a football stadium or a golf course.
Those years on the golf course as a caddie, boy, those people were something. They were vulgar, some were alcoholics, racist, they were very difficult people to deal with. A lot of them didn't have a sense of humor.
Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.
If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'