It amazes me that the most Christian funerals are the most barbaric funeral rites of passage that are celebrated anywhere in the world. Steve Earle
I can't admit things; that's why I can't go to funerals and stuff like that. I find it very, very difficult to deal with that kind of reality. I shut myself off totally because it affects me so badly. Simon Cowell
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. P. J. O'Rourke
I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals. Emma Thompson
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Yogi Berra

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