An aging alcoholic cop is assigned the task of escorting a witness from police custody to a courthouse 16 blocks away. There are, however, chaotic forces at work that prevent them from making it in one piece.

Jack Mosley: [as an answer to Eddie Bunker's riddle] You give your car keys to your best friend, who takes your car and drives the old lady to a hospital. You stay behind with the love of your life.
Jack Mosley: Never met your sister?
Eddie Bunker: No.
Jack Mosley: Wow.
Eddie Bunker: So I'm going out to Seattle to meet her. I'm looking forward...
Jack Mosley: Maybe she turns out to look like Angelina Jolie.
Eddie Bunker: Shit, if she do, I hope she ain't my sister.
Frank Nugent: [after catching Jack and telling him to drop his weapon] Can't get lucky all the time.
Eddie Bunker: [sneaking up behind Frank with a gun] You can be smart every day, though.
Man in Apartment: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Eddie Bunker: Everyday is someone's birthday.
Jack Mosley: Oh yea, you give the car keys to your best friend and you let him take the old lady to the hospital. You stay at the bus stop with the girl because she's the girl of your dreams, right? So everything is going to be ok.
Jack Mosley: You're not gonna die on me are you?
Eddie Bunker: I dunno, I ain't never died before.
Eddie Bunker: You're driving in a hurricane and you see three people at a bus stop. One is an old lady and she's sick. One is your best friend and he saved your life. And the third is the lady of your dreams. Now check it out, you only have room for one in your car, which one do you take?
[Jack gets out of the car and walks into a liquor store]
Eddie Bunker: Yo, it ain't Miller time, man!
Jack Mosley: [interrupting Eddie's impassioned speech at climax of standoff] Hey, you're killin' me.
[last lines]
Eddie Bunker: Happy birthday, Jack.
Jack Mosley: You're a sunny little shit, I'll give you that much.
Frank Nugent: [after the shootout in Chinatown, Nugent is talking to Mosley through the door] You still there, Jack?
Jack Mosley: Yeah, I'm still here.
[first lines]
Jack Mosley: [tape recording] This is Detective Jack Mosley, Shield number 227. I guess this will be my last will and testament. This is for Diane. Now, they're gonna come talk to you and they're gonna tell you things. But what they tell you isn't really what happen. So Diane, I think you should know what really happened. I was trying to do a good thing.
Frank Nugent: [Reloading weapon] You know, when I woke up this morning, I didn't expect to be trading nine millies with my friend.
Jack Mosley: Days change, seasons change, people don't change.
Frank Nugent: Fuck the truth!