A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy

A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Quotes

A wacky inventor and his wife invite two other couples for a weekend party at a romantic summer house in the 1900s countryside.

Andrew: Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.
Ariel: How's your marriage?
Andrew: My marriage is fine.
Ariel: Ya?...
Andrew: It's not working but it's fine.
Andrew: I'm not a poet. I don't die for love. I work on Wall Street.
Maxwell: I'm a doctor and I believe in the spirit world.
Andrew: Oh, you have to, Maxwell, that's where all your patients end up.
Ariel: He taught me a lot...
Andrew: Like what?
Ariel: Like how to listen to Mozart.
Andrew: With your ears, right?
Andrew: It's nothing serious - just an arrow in his heart.
Andrew: When are you gonna grow up? You're like one of those creatures in Greek mythology who's half-goat.
Andrew: I didn't lie. I wasn't lying, Adrian. I was not lying. Do you want to know why I lied?
Leopold: I had the privilege of escorting Ariel through the Sistine Chapel for the first time in her life and explaining to her exactly why Michelangelo's ceiling was indeed great.
Ariel: When Raphael first laid eyes on it, he fainted.
Andrew: Had he eaten?
Andrew: Only a drunken, infantile idiot shoots himself over love, not an internist.
Andrew: I wonder if geniuses have problems with their sex lives.
Dulcy: A hammock! That's so nostalgic for me. I lost it in a hammock.
Adrian: Pardon me?
Dulcy: You have to have really good balance.
Maxwell: I never felt like this. The moment I smelled her I loved her.
Andrew: Well, smell someone else. She's taken.
Ariel: Andrew, we'll get killed!
Andrew: No, no. Don't be silly. Trust me, it's me, Andrew... Trust me anyhow.
Adrian: [Referring to sex] I can't! It's disgusting!
Andrew: How can it be disgusting? I don't even have my clothes off.
Andrew: Adrian, this is the kitchen table. What are you doing?
Adrian: Making...
Andrew: We cannot have intercourse where we eat oatmeal!
Maxwell: Andrew, are you all right?
Andrew: Maxwell, I think I fractured my last remaining nose
Maxwell: You shouldn't fly. You're a mammal.
Andrew, Maxwell: Thank you, Maxwell. A doctor with a license is no smarter.
Maxwell: He never tires of insulting me, but when he's sick...
Andrew: Yeah? Who overcharges me?
Maxwell: But you always get well, don't you, Andrew?
Andrew: I would get well anyhow, Maxwell, even without the leeches.
Ariel: You showed me your latest invention.
Andrew: Of course, my musical house slippers. Remember that?
Ariel: I don't love you.
Maxwell: Because you don't know me. Give me ten minutes, ten lousy minutes.
Dulcy: [Aroused] Leopold, bite me... hard!
Leopold: I can't. These aren't my teeth.
Andrew: He's a wonderful guy and a terrific doctor. Never lost a patient. Got a couple of them pregnant, but never lost one.
Leopold: So, you're an inventor, hey?
Andrew: Crackpot inventor.
Adrian: Andrew's invented a wedding present for you and Ariel. Tell 'em about that.
Andrew: It's a silly apparatus that takes the bones out of fish, and if you prefer, although there's no point to it, it puts bones in fish.

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