A Night at the Opera Quotes
A sly business manager and two wacky friends of two opera singers help them achieve success while humiliating their stuffy and snobbish enemies.
Otis B. Driftwood: That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
[Driftwood agrees to read the contract to Fiorello]
Otis B. Driftwood: All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello: Well, that's-a why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
Otis B. Driftwood: All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello: Well, that's-a why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the second clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood: Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello: Well, I don't know about that...
Otis B. Driftwood: Now what's the matter?
Fiorello: I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you should of come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning. I was blind for three days!
Otis B. Driftwood: Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello: Well, I don't know about that...
Otis B. Driftwood: Now what's the matter?
Fiorello: I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you should of come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning. I was blind for three days!
[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the first clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood: Now pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello: No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood: What's the matter with it?
Fiorello: I dunno. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood: It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello: That sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello: Er... just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood: What do you mean? The... the party of the first part?
Fiorello: No, the first part of the party of the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood: All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Otis B. Driftwood: Now pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello: No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood: What's the matter with it?
Fiorello: I dunno. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood: It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello: That sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello: Er... just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood: What do you mean? The... the party of the first part?
Fiorello: No, the first part of the party of the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood: All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Fiorello: [Disguised as one of the world's greatest aviators] So now I tell you how we fly to America. The first time we started we got-a half way there when we run out a gasoline, and we gotta go back. Then I take-a twice as much gasoline. This time we're just about to land, maybe three feet, when what do you think: we run out of gasoline again. And-a back-a we go again to get-a more gas. This time I take-a plenty gas. Well, we get-a half way over, when what do you think happens: we forgot-a the airplane. So, we gotta sit down and we talk it over. Then I get-a the great idea. We no take-a gasoline, we no take-a the airplane. We take steamship, and that friends, is how we fly across the ocean.
Fiorello: How do you do?
Otis B. Driftwood: [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked out] Hello.
Fiorello: What's the matter Mr.?
Otis B. Driftwood: Oh, we had an argument and he pulled a knife on me so I shot him.
Fiorello: [raises a foot] Do you mind if I...?
Otis B. Driftwood: No-no, go right ahead. Plenty of room.
Otis B. Driftwood: [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked out] Hello.
Fiorello: What's the matter Mr.?
Otis B. Driftwood: Oh, we had an argument and he pulled a knife on me so I shot him.
Fiorello: [raises a foot] Do you mind if I...?
Otis B. Driftwood: No-no, go right ahead. Plenty of room.
Mrs. Claypool: If you had any real feeling for me you'd stop associating with the kind of riffraff I've seen you going around with.
Otis B. Driftwood: You mean Gottlieb?
Mrs. Claypool: I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with. I'm very grateful they're not on board the boat.
Otis B. Driftwood: [gets up from his chair, concerned] Why, have they slipped off?
Mrs. Claypool: [pulls him back into his chair] Sit down!
Otis B. Driftwood: You mean Gottlieb?
Mrs. Claypool: I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with. I'm very grateful they're not on board the boat.
Otis B. Driftwood: [gets up from his chair, concerned] Why, have they slipped off?
Mrs. Claypool: [pulls him back into his chair] Sit down!
Henderson: What's a hermit doing with four beds?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you see those first three beds?
Henderson: Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood: Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you see those first three beds?
Henderson: Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood: Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
Otis B. Driftwood: Let's go in my room and talk the situation over.
Mrs. Claypool: What situation?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, er... what situations have you got?
Mrs. Claypool: I most certainly will not go to your room.
Otis B. Driftwood: OK, then I'll stay here.
Mrs. Claypool: All right, all right, all right! I'll come, but get out.
Otis B. Driftwood: Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?
Mrs. Claypool: Yes, ten minutes, anything. But go!
Otis B. Driftwood: Because if you're not there in ten minutes, I'll be back here in eleven. With squeaky shoes on!
Mrs. Claypool: What situation?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, er... what situations have you got?
Mrs. Claypool: I most certainly will not go to your room.
Otis B. Driftwood: OK, then I'll stay here.
Mrs. Claypool: All right, all right, all right! I'll come, but get out.
Otis B. Driftwood: Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?
Mrs. Claypool: Yes, ten minutes, anything. But go!
Otis B. Driftwood: Because if you're not there in ten minutes, I'll be back here in eleven. With squeaky shoes on!
