A Prairie Home Companion Quotes
A look at what goes on backstage during the last broadcast of America's most celebrated radio show, where singing cowboys Dusty and Lefty, a country music siren, and a host of others hold court.
Garrison Keillor: The penguin joke. Two penguins standing on an ice floe. And the first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"
Dangerous Woman: Is there more?
Garrison Keillor: No.
Dangerous Woman: That's the joke?
Garrison Keillor: Uh huh.
Dangerous Woman: Why is that funny?
Garrison Keillor: I guess it's funny because people laugh at it.
Dangerous Woman: I'm not laughing.
Garrison Keillor: You're an angel.
Dangerous Woman: Is there more?
Garrison Keillor: No.
Dangerous Woman: That's the joke?
Garrison Keillor: Uh huh.
Dangerous Woman: Why is that funny?
Garrison Keillor: I guess it's funny because people laugh at it.
Dangerous Woman: I'm not laughing.
Garrison Keillor: You're an angel.
Guy Noir: They got old, babe. They started thinking about ease and comfort. Then I figure, they saw a brochure about an island with palm trees and an azure sky and miles of sand, and they thought: ''Hey! Ah! Ah! We don't have to suffer through these miserable Minnesota winters. We don't have to freeze our butts off waiting for our bus to come, our bus has come. It's here. We'll leave the business to the kids and we'll head for paradise and to hell with it.'' Only trouble is, the kids had already gone down to paradise ahead of them. So then, a big corporation down in Texas offered then a gazillion dollars for it. Texans. Sure. They talk funny and their eyes don't focus and their flesh is rotting and falling of, but hey. You know. So what? Yeah, nobody's perfect and, Uh... Money is money, so the Soderbergs took the dough. End of story. Do you have any tweezers?
Guy Noir: A lot of good people up there on the stage. A lot of them. I mean, I'm a man of the world like yourself. But these folks put their lives into this.
Axeman: Now they can put their lives into something else. That's the beauty of the world. There's always something to put your life into, isn't there? It's like the scripture tells us, you have to lose your life before you can find it.
Axeman: Now they can put their lives into something else. That's the beauty of the world. There's always something to put your life into, isn't there? It's like the scripture tells us, you have to lose your life before you can find it.
[first lines]
Radio Announcer: Market reports today, barrows and gilts uh two hundred twenty to two hundred sixty pounds, they're lower at forty dollars uh sows are steady three hundred five hundred pounds thirty four to thirty seven dollars going over to feeder cattle, beef steers - one hundred twenty to one hundred fifty dollars and two hundred to three hundred
[fade out]
Radio Announcer: Market reports today, barrows and gilts uh two hundred twenty to two hundred sixty pounds, they're lower at forty dollars uh sows are steady three hundred five hundred pounds thirty four to thirty seven dollars going over to feeder cattle, beef steers - one hundred twenty to one hundred fifty dollars and two hundred to three hundred
[fade out]
