Alexander's day begins with gum stuck in his hair, followed by more calamities. However, he finds little sympathy from his family and begins to wonder if bad things only happen to him, his mom, dad, brother and sister - who all find themselves living through their own terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Anthony Cooper: Mom, do you mind?... Please
Kelly Cooper: What? Because of this morning? It's not the first time I've seen your penis, Anthony!
Emily Cooper: Mom saw your penis?
Kelly Cooper: Yep! I've seen yours too, Alexander. I've seen every penis in this car!
Ben Cooper: Every penis.
Alexander Cooper: It's 12:01 Melvin. It's my birthday. Do you feel alone in the world? I just wish they understood! I just wish they knew what it felt like to have a terrible horrible no good very bad day.
Video game dev: Is that a pirate blouse?
Ben Cooper: Yarrr!
High School Teacher: Let's go Wreck it Ralph. Principal's office now!
Paul Dumphy: Dude i've been looking everywhere for you. Have you heard about Phillip Parker?
Alexander Cooper: I don't want to hear anything more about his amazing party.
Paul Dumphy: No it's cancelled.
Alexander Cooper: What?
Paul Dumphy: Yeah he woke up with chicken pox. He texted me this picture these things are everywhere.
Alexander Cooper: Oh.
Paul Dumphy: They're even in his butt crack.
Ben Cooper: Whoa honey are you okay?
Emily Cooper: No i'm not Peter Pan can't have a cold Dad.
Anthony Cooper: Bro i gotta take a shower. I gotta get to school or Celia won't call me back. Oh no. No way not today. Get out dude. Get out!
Emily Cooper: I think i broke Captain Hook's nose.
Anthony Cooper: Where's bumble bee?
Kelly Cooper: Alexander murdered it so now he's going to cry all night.
Ben Cooper: Honey bumble bee is gone.
Philip Parker: Hey Paul!
Paul Dumphy: Phillip my man!
Philip Parker: Nice boobs Alexander.
Kelly Cooper: If you hadn't left the battery out of my car all night Dick van Dyke wouldn't be mad at me Chim Chimminy wants to kill me. Can you imagine?
Alexander Cooper: Why are you here?
Anthony Cooper: Shut up.
Kelly Cooper: How much cough syrup did she have?
Ben Cooper: Clearly way too much.
Alexander Cooper: So his party's not on?
Paul Dumphy: No so everyone's coming to yours again.
Alexander Cooper: Really?
Paul Dumphy: Great right? His pox is your gain.
High School Teacher: This isn't Gossip Girl you two. Get back inside Celia.
Emily Cooper: What a to-do to die today at a minute or two to two. A thing distinctly hard to say but harder still to do. We'll beat a tattoo at a minute or two and a rat tat tat tat tat tattoo. And the dragon will come to the beat of the drum. At a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two... A big black bug bit a big black bear.
Alexander Cooper: Hi Becky
Becky Gibson: Hey Alexander

If you find QuotesGram website useful to you, please donate $10 to support the ongoing development work.