Ali G Indahouse Quotes
Ali G unwittingly becomes a pawn in the evil Chancellor's plot to overthrow the Prime Minister of Great Britain. However, instead of bringing the Prime Minister down, Ali is embraced by the... See full summary »
Ali G: Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'Eath posse, innit? Come on - let's stab him!
Jezzy F: No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.
Ali G: All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
Jezzy F: No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.
Ali G: All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
David Carlton: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
Ali G: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole...
David Carlton: Really? When?
Ali G: Eight years and three months ago.
David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?
Ali G: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger...
[starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch]
Ali G: Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes...
Ali G: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole...
David Carlton: Really? When?
Ali G: Eight years and three months ago.
David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?
Ali G: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger...
[starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch]
Ali G: Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes...
David Carlton: As from 12 o'clock all rizla's will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as ichy scrot. Furthermore I am a bell end...
Ali G: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
David Carlton: Prime minister, I really can't be expected to...
Prime Minister: Go on now, David!
David Carlton: [Looking annoyed] I like to take it up the batty. It is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum!
Ali G: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
David Carlton: Prime minister, I really can't be expected to...
Prime Minister: Go on now, David!
David Carlton: [Looking annoyed] I like to take it up the batty. It is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum!
