Almost Famous Quotes
A high-school boy is given the chance to write a story for Rolling Stone Magazine about an up-and-coming rock band as he accompanies it on their concert tour.
Lester Bangs: Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.
William Miller: Well, it was fun.
Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.
William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't.
Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.
William Miller: I can really see that now.
Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.
William Miller: I'm glad you were home.
Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool.
William Miller: Me too!
Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
William Miller: I feel better.
Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.
William Miller: Well, it was fun.
Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.
William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't.
Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.
William Miller: I can really see that now.
Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.
William Miller: I'm glad you were home.
Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool.
William Miller: Me too!
Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
William Miller: I feel better.
Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.
Russell Hammond: [Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It's Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...
Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...
Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...
Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.
Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...
Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.
Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]
Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?
Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?
Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.
[Elaine hangs up]
Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]
Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...
Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...
Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.
Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...
Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.
Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]
Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?
Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?
Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.
[Elaine hangs up]
Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]
Russell Hammond: If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you.
Dennis Hope: I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead... but I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.
Leslie: Oh my God!
Dick Roswell: Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas... I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there... it's because I knew I'd earned it.
Russell Hammond: Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick.
Jeff Bebe: I did too.
Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too.
Jeff Bebe: [to Russell] I also slept with Leslie, when you were fighting.
Russell Hammond: [to Leslie] You slept with Jeff?
Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count. It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.
Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you love me!
Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man. I never did. None of us love you. You act above us. You always have.
Larry Fellows: Finally, the truth.
Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us, like you might leave. Like we're lucky to be with you. And we had to live with it, man. I had to live with you, and now I might die with you, and it's not fucking fair!
Russell Hammond: Please, enough!
Jeff Bebe: And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.
Leslie: Oh, I don't wanna hear any more. Shut up, Jeffrey!
Dick Roswell: It's all happening.
Russell Hammond: What the fuck! Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead.
Jeff Bebe: Don't be self-righteous, Russell. Not now, man. You were sleeping with Penny, that fucking groupie, last summer up until yesterday. Why don't you tell Leslie that?
Russell Hammond: Shut up!
Dennis Hope: I quit!
Russell Hammond: I'm gonna kill you!
Dennis Hope: I quit!
William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!
Dennis Hope: I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead... but I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.
Leslie: Oh my God!
Dick Roswell: Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas... I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there... it's because I knew I'd earned it.
Russell Hammond: Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick.
Jeff Bebe: I did too.
Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too.
Jeff Bebe: [to Russell] I also slept with Leslie, when you were fighting.
Russell Hammond: [to Leslie] You slept with Jeff?
Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count. It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.
Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you love me!
Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man. I never did. None of us love you. You act above us. You always have.
Larry Fellows: Finally, the truth.
Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us, like you might leave. Like we're lucky to be with you. And we had to live with it, man. I had to live with you, and now I might die with you, and it's not fucking fair!
Russell Hammond: Please, enough!
Jeff Bebe: And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.
Leslie: Oh, I don't wanna hear any more. Shut up, Jeffrey!
Dick Roswell: It's all happening.
Russell Hammond: What the fuck! Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead.
Jeff Bebe: Don't be self-righteous, Russell. Not now, man. You were sleeping with Penny, that fucking groupie, last summer up until yesterday. Why don't you tell Leslie that?
Russell Hammond: Shut up!
Dennis Hope: I quit!
Russell Hammond: I'm gonna kill you!
Dennis Hope: I quit!
William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!
Jeff Bebe: Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music.
Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please?
Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?
Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message for me? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. I mean, you created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, he's having a great time, he's doing a good job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And we're all looking out for him. And that's more than I've ever even said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.
Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?
Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message for me? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. I mean, you created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, he's having a great time, he's doing a good job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And we're all looking out for him. And that's more than I've ever even said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.
Lester Bangs: So, you're the one who's been sending me those articles from your school newspaper.
William Miller: I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too.
Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?
William Miller: They hate me.
Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.
William Miller: I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too.
Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?
William Miller: They hate me.
Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.
William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. And the guitar sound... is incindiary. Incendiary. Way to go.
[He turns to leave. The band members regard one another for a moment]
Russell Hammond: Well, don't stop there!
Jeff Bebe: Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!
[He turns to leave. The band members regard one another for a moment]
Russell Hammond: Well, don't stop there!
Jeff Bebe: Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!
Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music.
[a few claps]
Russell Hammond: [beat]
Russell Hammond: I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
[crowd cheers]
William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music.
[a few claps]
Russell Hammond: [beat]
Russell Hammond: I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
Russell Hammond: [high on acid; laughingly, to Dick] Look at him, he's taking notes with his eyes.
[Violently grabs William and shouts to his face]
Russell Hammond: How do we know you're not a cop, huh? The enemy! Stop fucking looking at me!
Dick Roswell: [calming Russell] He's your guardian angel, alright?
[to William]
Dick Roswell: Don't worry, he only means half of what he says.
William Miller: [to himself] Which half?
[Violently grabs William and shouts to his face]
Russell Hammond: How do we know you're not a cop, huh? The enemy! Stop fucking looking at me!
Dick Roswell: [calming Russell] He's your guardian angel, alright?
[to William]
Dick Roswell: Don't worry, he only means half of what he says.
William Miller: [to himself] Which half?
Polexia Aphrodisia: [to William watching Penny Lane] Act One, in which she pretends she doesn't care about him.
Polexia Aphrodisia: [sees Russell strumming his guitar and staring at Penny] Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't care her, but he goes right for her.
Polexia Aphrodisia: [Russell goes to Penny] Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She'll eat him alive.
William Miller: We gotta stop them!
Polexia Aphrodisia: Stop them? You... were her reason for coming here.
Polexia Aphrodisia: [sees Russell strumming his guitar and staring at Penny] Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't care her, but he goes right for her.
Polexia Aphrodisia: [Russell goes to Penny] Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She'll eat him alive.
William Miller: We gotta stop them!
Polexia Aphrodisia: Stop them? You... were her reason for coming here.
Lester Bangs: You CANNOT make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important. If you're a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet girls, they'll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs... I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it.
Russell Hammond: You, Aaron, are what it's all about. You're real. Your room is real. Your friends are real. Real, man, real. You know? Real. You're more important than all the silly machinery. Silly machinery. And you know it! In eleven years its going to be 1984, man. Think about that!
Aaron: Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
Russell Hammond: Yes.
Aaron: Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
Russell Hammond: Yes.
Anita Miller: First it was butter then it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, balogna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?
Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.
Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!
Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!
Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.
Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.
Anita Miller: I can't live here! I hate you! Even William hates you!
Young William: I don't hate her.
Anita Miller: You do hate her! You don't even know the truth.
Elaine Miller: Dramaqueen.
Anita Miller: Feck you!
Elaine Miller: Hey!
Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.
Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!
Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!
Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.
Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.
Anita Miller: I can't live here! I hate you! Even William hates you!
Young William: I don't hate her.
Anita Miller: You do hate her! You don't even know the truth.
Elaine Miller: Dramaqueen.
Anita Miller: Feck you!
Elaine Miller: Hey!
Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
Jeff Bebe: I also slept with Leslie
[pauses]
Jeff Bebe: when you were fighting.
Russell Hammond: [Surprised] You slept with Jeff?
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!
Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you *LOVE* me?
Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man! I *NEVER* did! *NONE* of us love you! You act *ABOVE* us, you always have!
Estrella Starr: Finally the truth!
[Russell looks at Larry in shock]
Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us like you *MIGHT* leave, like we're lucky to be with you! And we had to live with it, man! I had to live with you! Now I might *DIE* with you, and it's not fucking fair!
Russell Hammond: [Overwhelmed by the revelations] PLEASE! ENOUGH!
[pauses]
Jeff Bebe: when you were fighting.
Russell Hammond: [Surprised] You slept with Jeff?
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!
Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you *LOVE* me?
Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man! I *NEVER* did! *NONE* of us love you! You act *ABOVE* us, you always have!
Estrella Starr: Finally the truth!
[Russell looks at Larry in shock]
Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us like you *MIGHT* leave, like we're lucky to be with you! And we had to live with it, man! I had to live with you! Now I might *DIE* with you, and it's not fucking fair!
Russell Hammond: [Overwhelmed by the revelations] PLEASE! ENOUGH!
Jeff Bebe: I can't say anymore with the writer here.
Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want.
Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off.
Jeff Bebe: [to William] Actually, *that* you can print!
Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want.
Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off.
Jeff Bebe: [to William] Actually, *that* you can print!
Anita Miller: [talking to William at the airport, after his story was rejected by Rolling Stone] You look awful, but it's great. You're living your life. You're free of Mom.
[William makes a face at her]
Anita Miller: Hey, I'll take off work. Let's have an adventure together - you and me - finally. Anywhere you wanna go, anywhere in the world.
Anita Miller: [cut to the Miller's house] This is not my idea of a good time.
[William makes a face at her]
Anita Miller: Hey, I'll take off work. Let's have an adventure together - you and me - finally. Anywhere you wanna go, anywhere in the world.
Anita Miller: [cut to the Miller's house] This is not my idea of a good time.
Penny Lane: [to William, who is on the phone with his mother] This is Beth from Denver. She's one of the legendary, original Band Aids - she's clairvoyant!
Beth from Denver: I can't read your mind or anything. I mean, I pick up things here and there. Estrella says hi - She says I can stay in your room.
William Miller: Sure.
Beth from Denver: Great. I've got some... hydroponic pot!
[William covers the phone]
Beth from Denver: I can't read your mind or anything. I mean, I pick up things here and there. Estrella says hi - She says I can stay in your room.
William Miller: Sure.
Beth from Denver: Great. I've got some... hydroponic pot!
[William covers the phone]
