Jim, Michelle, Stifler, and their friends reunite in East Great Falls, Michigan for their high school reunion.

Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
Finch: Not us, our generation, we were more mature.
Steve Stifler: Check it out vagina shark.
[goes under water, girls scream]
Finch: I take that back.
Steve Stifler: [after punching Dr. Ron out] I ain't worth jackshit, D-Ron.
Michelle: Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's p...
Selena: [Interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember.
Jim Levenstein: Stifler's having a party tonight. OK, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your bitch.
Michelle: Yes. Yes I did.
Kevin: Don't mess with the class of 99, bitch!
Finch: How is your mother, Stifler?
Steve Stifler: You stay away from my mom, shitbricks!
Michelle: Get off my husband you little piece of shit!
MILF Guy #1: Milf?
MILF Guy #2: Milf...?
MILF Guy #1: Milf!
MILF Guy #2: Milf!
MILF Guy #1, MILF Guy #2: Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf!
Jim's Dad: Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb.
Jim's Dad: It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful.
Steve Stifler: You know what? I'm gonna get you fucked up.
Stifler's Mom: I once caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. It wasn't the handle side either.
Kara: Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays?
Jim Levenstein: Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore.
Kara: It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.
Jim Levenstein: I can't believe how much you've grown up.
Kara: Thanks. It's actually my eighteenth birthday tomorrow.
Jim Levenstein: Eighteen, wow.
Kara: You should come to my party.
Jim Levenstein: Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be...
Kara: Please I want you to come so bad.
Michelle: Everytime I wanna shop online and I start typing Amazon, amazingcollegesluts.com pops up.
[repeated line]
Steve Stifler: Oh, Finch's mom!
Kevin: You destroyed their Jet Skis
Steve Stifler: They splashed us, so...
AJ: Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.
Steve Stifler: I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Steve Stifler: Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
Jim's Dad: [Drunk] The name's Noah, motherfucker!
Steve Stifler: Morning, co-workers and cock-jerkers!
Steve Stifler: Hey, Shitbruck, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight, think of Kevin.
Kara's Mom: Remember this song?
[puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it]
Steve Stifler: [Whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler.
Jim Levenstein: [Gagging] I'm going to throw up.
Sherman: [Talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong.
Steve Stifler: You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
Sherman: Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
Steve Stifler: Dude, you need to get banged bad.
Mia: What's with you jacking my style, bitch?
[from trailer]
Steve Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.
MILF Guy #2: [after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body!

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