Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.

Nick Persons: Pregnant lady coming through.
Nick Persons: Hey man, I'm right here.
Suzanne Persons: Nick, there's something that we really need to talk about. Honey, I'm pregnant.
Nick Persons: We'll take it.
Nick Persons: Hey, there little buddy. I could use a...
Lindsey Persons: At least the table's strong.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: You've got dry rot.
Nick Persons: Dry what?
Nick Persons: You need to get some fresh air and a few open spaces.
Suzanne Persons: I think I'm gonna be sick right now.
Suzanne Persons: [to Nick] I think you should just call a contractor.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: The place was built in 1889.
Nick Persons: I got it. Did I get him?
Lindsey Persons, Kevin Persons: No.
Nick Persons: You're the local real estate guy.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: I'm also the local contractor.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: It certainly is a fixer upper.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: I must warn you, Nick, I am fluent in the karate.
Nick Persons: I don't know karate, but I know ca-razy!
[repeated line]
Nick Persons: I can fix that.
Suzanne Persons: Honey, what was that?
Nick Persons: A raccoon.
Nick Persons: I can do the fixing.
Suzanne Persons: [to Nick] Now do you want the number?
Nick Persons: It's you and me, there's nothing to be scared of. But that.
Chuck Mitchell, Jr.: It's really an amazing place to raise a family.