A bet pits a British inventor, a Chinese thief, and a French artist on a worldwide adventure that they can circle the globe in 80 days.

Phileas Fogg: I am a British Citizen, I have nothing to fear!
[Gunshot goes off in background]
Phileas Fogg: ... except bullets.
Monique La Roche: [just after Philieas has discovered the truth and is leaving] Don't let him go. He'll be lost by midnight. Go.
[to Passepartout]
Phileas Fogg: [outside, surrounded by thugs with swords to his neck as Passepartout finds him] More of your relatives, I suppose.
Phileas Fogg: [about Passepartout hitting buildings and statues of Paris while hanging on the rope of the balloon] Very impressive. I'd have let go by now.
Lord Kelvin: What's the point in hiring a corrupt inspector when he can't even abuse the Law properly?
[Passepartout is fighting while the caged Phileas coaches him]
Phileas Fogg: Watch out to the right!
[Passepartout misses]
Phileas Fogg: No, my right.
[Passepartout is hit]
Passepartout: Stop helping me!
Phileas Fogg: This is what happens when you leave home. You meet... people.
Steamer Captain: You had me at the nipples.
Lord Kelvin: Well done, Salisbury! I shall name a beef-based entrée after you in your honor.
Monique La Roche: Where's your proof?
Lord Kelvin: This is the Royal Academy of Science! We don't have to prove anything!
Prince Hapi: You two men may leave but Miss La Roche stays here.
Phileas Fogg: Why does she stay?
Prince Hapi: She will be my wife. One of seven.
Monique La Roche: Surprised. You have seven wives?
Prince Hapi: One for every day of the week. Do Tuesdays work for you?
Phileas Fogg: Have you seen our companion?
Wilbur Wright: You mean the half-naked Chinese man with a cow skull on his head singing Frère Jacques?
San Francisco Hobo: Now, your stink is your most powerful weapon in your begging arsenal.
Phileas Fogg: Rules are made to be broken... or stabbed by a spikey shoe.
[last lines]
Queen Victoria: Well done!
Monique La Roche: I'm sorry, Phileas.
Phileas Fogg: Don't be, my cheri. I saw the world. I learnt of new cultures. I flew across an ocean. I wore women's clothing. Made a friend.
[he takes Monique's hand]
Phileas Fogg: Fell in love. Who cares if I lost a wager?
Queen Victoria: I do! I've got 20 quid riding on you.
Phileas Fogg: Your Majesty, it has gone 12 noon.
Queen Victoria: Correct. Which gives you 24 hours remaining.
[Monique has just knocked out General Fang with a martial arts strike]
Passepartout: [astonished] She must be the eleventh tiger!
Monique La Roche: [curls fingers into claws] Meow.
Wilbur Wright: Hey, crazy English cowboy wannabe man! Why don't you go and be crazy someplace else, you're blocking the damn path!
Phileas Fogg: Here comes Mr. Grumpy... and the Leather-ettes.
Phileas Fogg: Alms? Alms for the poor?
San Francisco Hobo: Arms? You've already got arms. It's money you need.
Phileas Fogg: Wonderful; I can't even scrounge properly.
Phileas Fogg: [after drinking toomuch Chinese sake] I am going to be abominably ill.
[running off]
[Monique, Phileas and Passepartout are disguised as women in India]
Phileas Fogg: I feel faint.
Monique La Roche: Phileas, women are not that weak.
Phileas Fogg: No, but I am.
Passepartout: [in the warehouse, seeing the Statue of Liberty in pieces] That's a big man.
Monique La Roche: It is a lady. A French lady.
Phileas Fogg: [turning to see General Fang and her henchmen] She looks like an evil Chinese warlord to me.
General Fang: Your journey has caused quite a stir, Mr. Fogg. But I'm afraid it ends here.
Passepartout: Leave them alone, Fang. This has nothing to do with them.
General Fang: On the contrary, Lau Xing. Lord Kelvin and I have made new arrangements to conquer Lanzhou. Unfortunately for Mr. Fogg, they entail his... permanent detour.
Lord Kelvin: What's this obstruction blocking my jade reserves? This will certainly have to be demolished.
Lord Salisbury: But that is the Great Wall of China sir!
Lord Kelvin: ...It's not that great.
Phileas Fogg: One day, I will build a machine that will allow a man to fly!
San Francisco Hobo: Flying men? Where? Where?
Phileas Fogg: Nowhere!
San Francisco Hobo: Where are the flying men? Where are the flying men?
Phileas Fogg: They're over there!
San Francisco Hobo: Beware the flying men! Beware the Flying men! The Bird men are coming!
Phileas Fogg: [the Black Scorpion leader threatens him with his bracelet] Your threats do not frighten me, nor does your silly bracelet.
[a blade pops out of the bracelet]
Phileas Fogg: All right, it's not silly.
Phileas Fogg: Unlike you and your colleagues, money does not inspire me.
Lord Kelvin: I believe every man has his price. Even you, o noble Phileas Fogg. There must be something I could offer that would be worthy of your time.
Phileas Fogg: There is. Your position as head of the Royal Academy.
[chattering begins]
Phileas Fogg: I could lead Britian and the rest of the world into a new age of progress and discovery.
[everyone begins laughing]
Lord Kelvin: Fair enough.
Phileas Fogg: What?
Lord Kelvin: I, Lord Kelvin, hereby vow to surrender my position as minister of science to Phileas Fogg if he can circumnavigate the globe... in no more than 80 days. But if he cannot, he must never set foot in the academy again, he must tear down that abhorrent eyesore he calls a labatory, and he must swear... never to invent again.
[Phileas is taken aback by this vow, not knowing what to say]
Lord Kelvin: Just as I always suspected, Fogg. You promise so much, yet you deliver... oh,nothing.
[more laughter]
Phileas Fogg: [quietly] I'll take your wager.
[the room goes quiet]
Lord Kelvin: What did you say?
Phileas Fogg: [louder] I'll take your wager!
Chained Agent: [angry] Give me the Jade Buddha!
Passepartout: OK.
[pause]
Passepartout: What is Buddha?

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