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Obsessed with Pride and Prejudice (1995), a woman travels to a Jane Austen theme park in search for her perfect gentleman.
Mr. Henry Nobley: Any father would be delighted to have a ninja as a daughter.
Mr. Henry Nobley: Well, obviously. She is a ninja.
Jane Hayes: Do you enjoy dancing? Mr. Henry Nobley: Not particularly.
Martin: He's still acting. Its all just part of his act. See the costume? He's an actor. Mr. Henry Nobley: You're just jealous, aren't you? Because my aunt would rather bring in a complete novice than move some Kiwi actor up to the big house. Jane Hayes: You're not British either? Martin: It's part of the Commonwealth. Mr. Henry Nobley: Couldn't you get a job in the Hobbit? Martin: That's it Shakespeare!
Colonel Andrews: It would appear to be my duty to gaze into your eyes. I'm a military man, I'd never shirk my duty.
Miss Elizabeth Charming: [during the play] l am Aphrodite, the goddess. Often fickle in my large arse. Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Largesse. Miss Elizabeth Charming: Largesse.
Jane Hayes: Do you really believe, Mr. Nobley, that you can know the worth of a person at a glance? Mr. Henry Nobley: Can you tell me that within the first few moments of meeting each person in this room, you didn't form firm opinions of their character? Jane Hayes: Well, it would be a shame if my first impression of you proved correct.
Miss Elizabeth Charming: I didn't think I was touching you inappropriately. Colonel Andrews: Well, you did. And if we're to be together, you must never ever do anything like that ever again, if we're to be together.
Miss Elizabeth Charming: [after stealing Amelia Heartwright's dresses] Heartwright had millions of them. She's as dumb as a light post. She'll never notice.
Mr. Henry Nobley: Why are we running? Jane Hayes: Because man and woman should never be alone unless they are in motion.
Jane Hayes: I'm going to take charge of my story. Jane Hayes: An Austen heroine gets engaged by the end of the book, so that is what I'm going to do. Miss Elizabeth Charming: Why don't you go for Captain East? Miss Elizabeth Charming: Look how hot he is. And he's a soap star.
Captain East: When my seaman's heart tell me what to do, I do not fear to follow through. Colonel Andrews: That rhymes. That rhymes.