Bedazzled Quotes
Hopeless dweeb Elliot Richards is granted 7 wishes by the devil to snare Allison, the girl of his dreams, in exchange for his soul.
Elliot's Cellmate: She's the devil that one.
Elliot Richards: What?
Elliot's Cellmate: I said she's the devil... that lady cop.
Elliot Richards: Oh... yea. I guess.
Elliot's Cellmate: So what are you in for brother?
Elliot Richards: Eternity
Elliot's Cellmate: Oooo... that's a long time. You must have done some really bad shit.
Elliot Richards: Yea. I sold my soul.
Elliot's Cellmate: Hope you got something good for it.
Elliot Richards: As a matter of fact, I got nothing for it.
Elliot's Cellmate: Well that's a really bad deal if you ask me.
Elliot Richards: Well I'm not asking you.
Elliot's Cellmate: Doesn't really matter, though. Can't sell your soul anyway.
Elliot Richards: Oh, really? Why do you say that?
Elliot's Cellmate: Because it doesn't really belong to you in the first place. No way, no how.
Elliot Richards: So who does it belong to?
Elliot's Cellmate: It belongs to God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. The Devil's gonna try to confuse you, that's her game. But in the end, you're gonna see clear to who and what you are, and what you're here to do. Now, you gonna make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. But if you just open up your heart, and open up your mind, you'll get it.
Elliot Richards: ...Who are you?
Elliot's Cellmate: [smiles] Just a friend, brother. Just a really good friend.
Elliot Richards: What?
Elliot's Cellmate: I said she's the devil... that lady cop.
Elliot Richards: Oh... yea. I guess.
Elliot's Cellmate: So what are you in for brother?
Elliot Richards: Eternity
Elliot's Cellmate: Oooo... that's a long time. You must have done some really bad shit.
Elliot Richards: Yea. I sold my soul.
Elliot's Cellmate: Hope you got something good for it.
Elliot Richards: As a matter of fact, I got nothing for it.
Elliot's Cellmate: Well that's a really bad deal if you ask me.
Elliot Richards: Well I'm not asking you.
Elliot's Cellmate: Doesn't really matter, though. Can't sell your soul anyway.
Elliot Richards: Oh, really? Why do you say that?
Elliot's Cellmate: Because it doesn't really belong to you in the first place. No way, no how.
Elliot Richards: So who does it belong to?
Elliot's Cellmate: It belongs to God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. The Devil's gonna try to confuse you, that's her game. But in the end, you're gonna see clear to who and what you are, and what you're here to do. Now, you gonna make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. But if you just open up your heart, and open up your mind, you'll get it.
Elliot Richards: ...Who are you?
Elliot's Cellmate: [smiles] Just a friend, brother. Just a really good friend.
Eduardo: Buenos días señor, le apetece algo de comer?
Elliot Richards: Como dices? Yo no hablo español... un momento! estoy hablando en español! Que diablos! Realmente estoy hablando en español!
[laughs]
Elliot Richards: Que tal que Mrs Klein mi profesora de español me pudiera oir, ella siempre decía que yo no podía juntar dos frases, seguro estaba equivocada...
[shouts]
Elliot Richards: Hola! Mucho Gusto! Me llamo Elliot! Hola Juan, hola Esteban, dónde esta esa biblioteca? esa es la casa de mi tía, no gracias, soy alérgico a los crustaceos
[laughs again]
Eduardo: Señor, se siente bien?
Elliot Richards: Muy bien! mejor no podría estar!
Elliot Richards: Como dices? Yo no hablo español... un momento! estoy hablando en español! Que diablos! Realmente estoy hablando en español!
[laughs]
Elliot Richards: Que tal que Mrs Klein mi profesora de español me pudiera oir, ella siempre decía que yo no podía juntar dos frases, seguro estaba equivocada...
[shouts]
Elliot Richards: Hola! Mucho Gusto! Me llamo Elliot! Hola Juan, hola Esteban, dónde esta esa biblioteca? esa es la casa de mi tía, no gracias, soy alérgico a los crustaceos
[laughs again]
Eduardo: Señor, se siente bien?
Elliot Richards: Muy bien! mejor no podría estar!
Elliot Richards: Oh, yeah. You've been a really big help so far.
The Devil: I know. I've been really naughty, haven't I? Maybe a good spanking's in order?
Elliot Richards: Is that all you ever think about? Do you think everything is about sex?
The Devil: No, of course not! I mean, there's greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, vanity, envy...
The Devil: I know. I've been really naughty, haven't I? Maybe a good spanking's in order?
Elliot Richards: Is that all you ever think about? Do you think everything is about sex?
The Devil: No, of course not! I mean, there's greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, vanity, envy...
[after Elliot succeeds in keeping his soul]
Elliot Richards: I don't get it, though. Why are you, you know... being nice?
The Devil: Look, Elliot, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The whole good-and-evil thing? You know...
[points skyward]
The Devil: Him and me? It really comes down to you. You don't have to look very hard for heaven or hell. They're right here on Earth. You make the choice, and I guess you just made it.
Elliot Richards: I don't get it, though. Why are you, you know... being nice?
The Devil: Look, Elliot, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The whole good-and-evil thing? You know...
[points skyward]
The Devil: Him and me? It really comes down to you. You don't have to look very hard for heaven or hell. They're right here on Earth. You make the choice, and I guess you just made it.
[singing to Alison as sensitive guy]
Elliot Richards: Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimming by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You're so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea.
[making dolphin noise]
Elliot Richards: ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee.
Elliot Richards: Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimming by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You're so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea.
[making dolphin noise]
Elliot Richards: ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee.
The Devil: I saw you talking to a woman.
Elliot Richards: Um, yeah, but, I'm not with her.
The Devil: But you'd like to be. Huh?
Elliot Richards: What makes you say that?
The Devil: Oh, I dont know, when a man says he'd give anything to have a certain woman in his life, I just assume she means something to him.
Elliot Richards: Um, yeah, but, I'm not with her.
The Devil: But you'd like to be. Huh?
Elliot Richards: What makes you say that?
The Devil: Oh, I dont know, when a man says he'd give anything to have a certain woman in his life, I just assume she means something to him.
[the Devil is reading Allison's diary]
Elliot Richards: You can't read that, that's private stuff!
The Devil: You're telling me, listen to this. "Last night was the most incredible night of my life. I never did get any of the guys' names, but I brought them back home and all five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum".
Elliot Richards: What?
The Devil: Kidding.
Elliot Richards: You can't read that, that's private stuff!
The Devil: You're telling me, listen to this. "Last night was the most incredible night of my life. I never did get any of the guys' names, but I brought them back home and all five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum".
Elliot Richards: What?
The Devil: Kidding.
[reading Elliot the contract]
The Devil: Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a not-for-profit cooperation, with offices in Purgatory, Hell, and Los Angeles, will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit.
Elliot Richards: Seven? Why not eight?
The Devil: Why not six? I don't know. Seven just sounds right.
The Devil: Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a not-for-profit cooperation, with offices in Purgatory, Hell, and Los Angeles, will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit.
Elliot Richards: Seven? Why not eight?
The Devil: Why not six? I don't know. Seven just sounds right.
