Beethoven Quotes
A slobbering St. Bernard becomes the center of attention for a loving family, but its veterinarian secretly wants to kill him.
Devonia Pest: [after Alice picks up the kids and heads to the car] She must have snuck out while I was watching Ted and Ryce. It was hot out, so I guess she wanted to take a little swim.
Alice Newton: [furiously sighs] And where were YOU while this was happening?
Devonia Pest: I was where I was supposed to be, inside watching the other two! If Emily stayed where I put her, none of this would ever happened!
[in a rude tone]
Devonia Pest: If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline.
Alice Newton: What these children need is their mother.
[starts the car]
Alice Newton: You're fired.
[Devonia gasps in shock]
Alice Newton: [furiously sighs] And where were YOU while this was happening?
Devonia Pest: I was where I was supposed to be, inside watching the other two! If Emily stayed where I put her, none of this would ever happened!
[in a rude tone]
Devonia Pest: If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline.
Alice Newton: What these children need is their mother.
[starts the car]
Alice Newton: You're fired.
[Devonia gasps in shock]
[the Newtons are visiting Dr. Varnick's office looking for Beethoven]
Dr. Varnick: You have no right to be in here. Out, all of you!
George Newton: Where's my dog?
Dr. Varnick: I don't have to answer your questions. You ordered that dog destroyed, and it was done. Now get out.
Dr. Varnick: [before he could hit him, George grabs Dr. Varnick] You hit me, l'll have you put in jail for assault and battery.
[Dr. Varnick nods his head, then George punches him in the face]
Dr. Varnick: You have no right to be in here. Out, all of you!
George Newton: Where's my dog?
Dr. Varnick: I don't have to answer your questions. You ordered that dog destroyed, and it was done. Now get out.
Dr. Varnick: [before he could hit him, George grabs Dr. Varnick] You hit me, l'll have you put in jail for assault and battery.
[Dr. Varnick nods his head, then George punches him in the face]
George: I really don't like our dog.
Alice: I really don't like those people, George. I don't trust them. I don't want their money. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm not interested in expanding. If I had been home instead of helping you impress those morons, Emily wouldn't have fallen in the pool. And I'm not re-entering the work force, George. You're gonna have to do this on your own. And you will. Somehow, you'll make your fortune. And tucked away behind you deep in the shadows will be me and the kids.
George: That's how you see me. Suddenly, I'm a lousy husband and father. Everything was just fine until Beethoven came into our lives. I've tried to be patient, but I've had it. The dog has to go.
Alice: I'm proud of Beethoven. Those two idiots insulted your kids, they treated me like dirt, and he was the only one of us who had the nerve to give them the ride they deserved. I'm going to bed.
[she heads back inside]
George: My dream's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dog.
Alice: Your family's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dream.
Alice: I really don't like those people, George. I don't trust them. I don't want their money. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm not interested in expanding. If I had been home instead of helping you impress those morons, Emily wouldn't have fallen in the pool. And I'm not re-entering the work force, George. You're gonna have to do this on your own. And you will. Somehow, you'll make your fortune. And tucked away behind you deep in the shadows will be me and the kids.
George: That's how you see me. Suddenly, I'm a lousy husband and father. Everything was just fine until Beethoven came into our lives. I've tried to be patient, but I've had it. The dog has to go.
Alice: I'm proud of Beethoven. Those two idiots insulted your kids, they treated me like dirt, and he was the only one of us who had the nerve to give them the ride they deserved. I'm going to bed.
[she heads back inside]
George: My dream's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dog.
Alice: Your family's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dream.
Alice Newton: Just change your pants, George.
George Newton: I'm gonna change my pants, Alice. But if I change my pants, I gotta change my jacket! If I change my jacket, I gotta change my shirt! If I change my shirt, I gotta change my tie! I hafta change my belt! I gotta change my shoes! I gotta change my socks!
Alice Newton: Just change your pants, George.
[George throws his pants down to Alice]
George Newton: I'm gonna change my pants, Alice. But if I change my pants, I gotta change my jacket! If I change my jacket, I gotta change my shirt! If I change my shirt, I gotta change my tie! I hafta change my belt! I gotta change my shoes! I gotta change my socks!
Alice Newton: Just change your pants, George.
[George throws his pants down to Alice]
Biker Woman: [holds and looks at Beethoven] He looks good and mean.
Pet Shop Owner: I don't know. He's pretty sweet.
Biker Woman: You can make any dog mean.
[Beethoven urinates on her leather jacket]
Biker Woman: Hey! Damn little beast. God!
[the pet shop owner smiles and takes Beethoven]
Biker Woman: [furiously] You got any pit bulls?
Pet Shop Owner: I don't know. He's pretty sweet.
Biker Woman: You can make any dog mean.
[Beethoven urinates on her leather jacket]
Biker Woman: Hey! Damn little beast. God!
[the pet shop owner smiles and takes Beethoven]
Biker Woman: [furiously] You got any pit bulls?
