A frustrated, unemployed teacher joining forces with a scammer and his girlfriend in a blackmailing scheme.

Charlie: Hey Gus... What's the greek word for "bullshit"?
Mrs. Smalls: Well I'll be... I haven't heard Pink Floyd in years.
Penelope Wood: [cell phone rings from car] Are you going to answer that?
Josie McBroom: No, it's probably just my ex-boyfriend!
Charlie: Holy Moly!
Gus: Who says "Holy Moly"?
Charlie: [troubled] I put him in the septic tank
Gus: [confused] Who?
Charlie: [nervously] The corpse?
Gus: [stunned] He wasn't a corpse when I left him Charlie
Charlie: [shocked] Should we get him out?
Gus: [sarcastically] Yeah how long has been down there breathing liquid shit?
80 Year Old Blind Man: [as he catches Gus sneaking around his house] Who the hell are you?
Gus: [stammers] Er... I'm the guy that's here to collect the money.
80 Year Old Blind Man: Give me your gun!
Gus: I don't have one!
80 Year Old Blind Man: You've come to get money from me and you ain't packing?
80 Year Old Blind Man: Give my regards to the big bearded guy!
Gus: You don't mean Santa Clause, do ya?
[the old man points the gun at Gus as Gus closes his eyes; three loud gunshots are heard]
Charlie: Did you check her pulse?
Josie McBroom: Well I assumed that when you have an axe lodged in your skull, your pulse tends to bottom out on you.
Josie McBroom: There goes our alibi.
Josie McBroom: Freakin' fantastic! Don't you see? None of us has to run away or turn ourselves in.
Charlie: What do you propose? We roam the country living on the land, like Bonnie and Clyde... and Clyde?
Gus: You shot me?
Agent Hymes: That's the first true thing you ever said.
Gus: Who the hell are you?
Mrs. Smalls: Considering that I live here, young man, the question is, "Who the hell are you?"
[repeated line]
Gus: Okie-dokie!
[first lines]
Charlie: [Charlie is narrating] My name is Charlie Wood.
Charlie: I think I made a big mistake...
Gus: Welcome to hell, dickhead!
Charlie: I just drowned a man of the cloth in crap!

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