Brüno Quotes

Flamboyant and gay Austrian Brüno looks for new fame in America.

Brüno: Look at the four of us; we are so like the Sex in the City girls!
Donny: Oh no, we aren't either!
Brüno: Which one are you, Donny?
Donny: I ain't any one of them, I'm Donny.
Brüno: That is such a Samantha thing to say!

Brüno: [standing naked outside of tent] Donny, let me in your tent. A bear stole all of my clothes... except for these condoms.

Drill Sergeant: Your finger's in my alley.
Brüno: Not yet.

Brüno: So you were never gay?
Pastor Jody Trautwein: [shakes head] Mh-mh.
Brüno: It's ironic that you should have amazing blowjob lips.
Pastor Jody Trautwein: These-these lips were made to praise Jesus.

Brüno: There's a lot of African Americans in Africa!
African-American Lady: No! There's a lot of Africans in Africa!
Brüno: That's racist!

Brüno: I am going to be the biggest Austrian celebrity since Hitler.

Ron Paul: [after Brüno drops his pants] All right, get out of here! This is ended.
Ron Paul: [later, in the hallway] That guy's queerer than the blazes. He took his clothes off. Let's get goin'. He's queer, he's crazy, he put a hit on me and took his clothes off.
Brüno: [narrating] I couldn't even schtupp RuPaul.

Brüno: Ich was going to become famous by solving a world problem! But which one? Clooney's got Darfur, Sting's got the Amazon, and Bono's got AIDS! Luckily, there was still one shithole left to fix: the Middle Earth.

Lutz: Because I think that... you're amazing.
Brüno: Am I going to wake up to find you masturbating over me?
Lutz: I promise not to wake you.

Brüno: Can I give you guys a word of advice? Lose the beards, because your King Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard... or a homeless Santa.

Brüno: [about the baby in his arms] I swapped him.
African-American Lady: Swapped the baby for what?
Brüno: For an iPod.

Brüno: I wouldn't want to wake up and find that I'm torn in my arschenholer.

Elton John: [singing] War's just based on hate and fear / Stop fighting, North and South Korea.
Brüno: [singing] You're both basically Chinese.
Chris Martin: [singing] He's Brüno, dove of peace.
Snoop Dogg: [rapping] Hey, yo Brüno, where the bitches at?

Brüno: How do you protect yourself from a dildo?

Harrison Ford: [when being confronted by Bruno trying to interview him] Fuck off!

Brüno: [referring to a woman's breasts] You must produce a lot of milk.

Brüno: It's just this bear took my clothes. He took everything apart from these condoms.

Brüno: Look me in the eye.
Angry Swinger: This is a fuckin' swingers' party. OK? If you don't want pussy, if you don't want fuckin'... then quit fuckin' touching me and quit looking at me. I definitely ain't lookin' at you in the eye. OK? I didn't come here for no fuckin' queer shit, OK? I know what you're doin'.

TV Host: What's the baby's name?
Brüno: I gave him like a traditional African name: O.J.
African-American Lady: WHAT?

Brüno: We have chosen your baby to be dressed as a Nazi Officer, pushing a wheelbarrow, with a Jewish baby, into an oven!

National Guard Officer: By the way, where's your uniform? Go get your uniform on. Do it!
Brüno: [Bruno returns with a scarf on]
National Guard Officer: Oh my god. What's up with the scarf?
Brüno: That is like... it's my own...
National Guard Officer: [Interrupts] Let me introduce you to somebody. Captain Miles!
Captain Miles: [Walks towards Bruno] Candidate, what are you doing? Stand into position of attention, candidate!
National Guard Officer: Do it!
Captain Miles: Head and eyes straight forwards, candidate!
National Guard Officer: Do it!
Captain Miles: Head and eyes straight forward!
National Guard Officer: Do it!
Captain Miles: Stand still, candidate!
National Guard Officer: Do it!
Captain Miles: That is not part of the uniform, candidate. You need to take that off.
Brüno: This outfit is to matchy-matchy as it is. And so I was just trying to break it up with some simple horizontal lines.
Captain Miles: Do you have an attitude, candidate?
Brüno: No but, sir...!
National Guard Officer: I think we do...
Brüno: Sir, she's got an attitude!
National Guard Officer: Not sir, officer candidate!
Captain Miles: What?
National Guard Officer: Did you just call me a she? Get down!

PR Consultant: Is there something that you, like, that you believe in, like...
Brüno: Well, I'm really into issues.
PR Consultant: Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse, so...
Brüno: Great!
PR Consultant: That would be, that's something to get involved now, so... we can just help East, uh, Africa in order to help for our future in order for everyone... that's a beneficial thing to be involved with now.

Brüno: [about his baby, O.J] I've gotta be honest: he's a real dick magnet.

National Guard Officer: What type of belt is that, candidate? What is that?
Brüno: D and G.
National Guard Officer: What is D and G?
Brüno: Dolce and Gabbana, hello.