Burlesque

Burlesque Quotes

A small-town girl ventures to Los Angeles and finds her place in a neo-burlesque club run by a former dancer.

Sean: [talking about the money Tess needs to save the club] It's just money. It's just a number.
Tess: I know, but... do you think I could do it?
[Sean shakes his head]
Tess: Tell me a lie.
Sean: I need your expert sewing skills.
Tess: Tell me a *new* lie.
Sean: I don't love you.
Sean: [from trailer] So, is Ali short for anything?
Ali Rose: Oh, yeah, it's short for Alice.
Sean: Alice, hm? Well, welcome to Wonderland.
Ali Rose: Jack, why did you leave Kentucky?
Jack: Well, why did you leave Iowa?
Ali Rose: Because I looked around and realized there wasn't one person whose life I wanted.
Jack: Exactly.
Nikki: How come I don't have a nickname?
Scarlett: Oh,you do.
Nikki: Well he never uses it.
Sean: Oh,I do.
Nikki: When?
[walks down stairs]
Sean: When you leave the room!
[whispers]
Sean: Slut!
Nikki: I heard that!
Nikki: [annoyed] Didn't your mama ever tell you it's not polite to stare?
Ali Rose: You-You're just so damn beautiful, I...
Nikki: Well in that case, screw your mama and stare away.
Ali Rose: No one would *ever* know.
Nikki: Know what?
Ali Rose: That you're a dude.
Tess: [upon seeing a nauseous Georgia emerge from the bathroom stall] Oh, God, Georgia. Tell me you don't have the flu.
[Georgia shakes her head and starts crying]
Tess: Oh no... please have the flu!
Ali Rose: If I'm not 20 times better than "boobs for brains" over there, you don't have to pay me.
Nikki: What the hell is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch *out*.
Sean: And what did she *ever* do to you?
Nikki: She said I looked like a drag queen!
Sean: Well, that can't be the first time that's happened before.
Nikki: I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs.
Nikki: I don't get why everyone's having a conniption over her, she's just a tacky farm girl from Iowa.
Ali Rose: And we know a cow when we see one.
Vince: I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.
Tess: Mr. Tess?
[pause]
Tess: That is *so* hot.
Vince: Nice. But it won't pay the bills.
Alexis: Get a room!
Sean: Get away!
Tess: They'll come to hear HER sing.
Tess: He didn't even look me in the eye! He just sat there playing with his wooden thingy on his desk.
Sean: What thingy?
Tess: The long wooden block thingy.
Sean: The nameplate?
Tess: Yeah. Nameplate.
Sean: [talking about Ali's audition] Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
Tess: Try harder.
Vince: Have you read this letter from the bank?
Tess: Vincent. How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.
Tess: [Ali is auditioning] Hey Dave, cut it.
Ali Rose: H-hold on a second, I can do this!
Tess: And I think that it's sweet that you think that you can.
Ali Rose: Where I come from friends don't chew on each others earlobes!
Marcus: Aren't you glad you left?
Tess: You didn't tell me you could sing like that!
Ali Rose: Hey! I'm talking to you!
Marcus: Remember, you got that balloon payment due on the first.
Tess: [annoyed, to Vince] Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?
Vince: [earnestly] No... it's business.
Marcus: I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this. So take it.
Tess: [after some contemplation, then firmly] No.
Vince: [quickly, to Marcus] She means not now.
Tess: No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince. "No" means no. Marcus, I don't care what you're offering. My club is not for sale.
Ali Rose: Morning! Coffee?
Jack: Black. Like my soul.
Ali Rose: I took the liberty of making breakfast. I hope you don't mind. It's the least I could do.
Jack: Smells great.
Ali Rose: [referring to photo at kitchen counter] She's pretty. Your sister?
Jack: Fiancée.
Ali Rose: You're straight?
Jack: You thought I was gay?
Ali Rose: Yeah.
Jack: Wait, why?
Ali Rose: I don't know. The day bed... the eyeliner...
Jack: It's a very straight look. You know, it works at the club, Tess loves it...
Ali Rose: Okay. I should put on some pants.
Jack: Probably.
Alexis: We may not have windows, but we do have the best view on Sunset Strip. Twenty bucks.
Ali Rose: What is this place... a strip club?
Alexis: Strip club? Honey, I should wash your mouth out with Jägermeister. The only Pole you'll find in there is Natasha, the short girl.
Vince: This isn't going away. You won't talk to me before the show, you won't talk to me after the show. It's like you're avoiding me.
Tess: Well, I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.
Ali Rose: Who does a girl have to flirt with to get from here... to up there?
[points to dance stage]
Jack: Is this you flirting?
Ali Rose: [laughs] With someone wearing more eyeliner than me? Yeah.
Jack: Through that door over there. Ask for Tess. She's your guy. Flirt away.
Tess: And don't ever go behind my back again.
Ali Rose: Yes, ma'am.
Tess: And don't ever call me ma'am again.
Ali Rose: Yes, sir. Errr... I mean, ma'am... I mean, Tess.
Tess: Get on the floor.
[to Sean]
Tess: "Ma'am"? What am I, my mother?
Sean: Yes, ma'am.
Tess: Up yours.
Marcus: You know, not that I give a shit, but why is it that you want my club so badly?
Marcus: I like it. When I see something I like, I have to have it. Been that way since I was a kid.
Tess: That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.
Marcus: [grins] I did okay.
Ali Rose: Wait a minute...
[incredulously]
Ali Rose: You had to make an appearance at your own party?
Marcus: Would've been rude not to, right?
Jack: Where're you from?
Ali Rose: Iowa.
Jack: Kentucky. We're practically related.
Ali Rose: Thought you looked familiar.
Marcus: Wow. I can't believe Tess has you buried in the kick line.
Ali Rose: She didn't know I sang.
Marcus: Well, you certainly can. And you are way too good to be doing it here.
Vince: Do you know what you could do with that money, Tess?
Tess: Do you know what *you* could do with that money, Vince?
Vince: Not now...
Tess: Don't "not now" me.
Jack: I'm just saying. Life is about the choices you make.
Ali Rose: The choices I make? You're a bartender-slash-piano player, who writes songs that are never ready.
Jack: Oh, I uhm... I finished a song. I think it's pretty good.
Ali Rose: [chuckles] Can I hear it?
Jack: No. But...
[pause, handing Ali a songsheet]
Jack: you can sing it.
Ali Rose: Oh wow... L.A. looks gorgeous from up here.
Marcus: That view cost me three times what the house did. See that strip mall down there?
Ali Rose: You own that too?
Marcus: No. I own everything above it.
Ali Rose: There is nothing above it.
Marcus: Exactly.
Ali Rose: [sardonically] So you own air.
Marcus: Air rights. The guy that owns the strip mall ran into some money issues, almost had to sell. Whoever he sold it to would've put up a huge tower. So I bought the air rights. Now, no one can ever build above one storey.
Ali Rose: Well, aren't you clever.
Marcus: Mall guy gets to keep his property, I get to keep the second best view in L.A.
Ali Rose: What's the first?
Marcus: [gazes silently and steadily at Ali, while sipping wine]
Ali Rose: [rolls eyes] Ugh... How many girls have you used that line on?
Marcus: None ever who called me on it.

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