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A naive teenager is sent to rehab camp when her straitlaced parents and friends suspect her of being a lesbian.
Megan: [to Graham] 1,2,3,4, I won't take no anymore. 5,6,7,8 - I want you to be my mate. 1,2,3,4 - you're the one that I adore. 5,6,7,8 - don't run from me cause this is fate.
Joel: What about foreplay? Mary: No! Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!
Joel: I... I mean, you're more than just a sissy. You're nice and... and clean and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and... Andre: Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!
Graham: [after Megan sees Graham and Sinead dancing] Megan, it's not what you think. Megan: That's why we came here, right? So *you* could be yourself. Graham: I don't like Sinead that way. Megan: Which way is that, clothed? Graham: We weren't doing anything. Megan: Oh, when you were going like this, you weren't doing anything. Graham: No we, I wasn't, I wasn't doing that! Megan: It doesn't matter. Graham: Why are you freaking out? Megan: It's none of my bussiness. Do what you want. Graham: You want me to do what I want? Megan: I could care less. Graham: What I *really* want? Megan: Screw you!- [Graham kisses Megan]
Megan: [after Graham kisses Megan for the first time] I'm not supposed to like you. Graham: But? Megan: I wanna do that again. [Megan kisses Graham]
Megan: Your parents didn't stay very long. Graham: Well, I imagine it gets uncomfortable sitting that long with a stick up your ass.
Andre: Congratulations, liars! You know who you are and you know who you want. Aint nothin' gonna change that, shit!
Megan: Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good. Graham: Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.
Jan: I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it. I just want a big fat wiener up my... Andre: Amen, sister.
Graham: I'm Graham and I like girls. A lot.
Graham: [to Megan] I thought it was just an act, but you really are sweet as fucking pie aren't you?
Hilary: This is where we sleep, but there's no inappropriate behavior allowed. Megan: Inappropriate? Like swearing? Graham: No, inappropriate like fucking.
Hilary: It's really easy to be a prude when you're not attracted to him, isn't it?
Megan: You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar! Graham: Well, where else would we go?
Mary: Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this. You were supposed to be the role model! Now, Get - Up - Right - Now!
Andre: She's just upset because the fish on her plate is the only kind she can eat.
Mary: Ok, then, who's left to report out their root? Andre? Andre: Shit, Ms. Mary, I ain't the only one who ain't got no root. Mary: Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Ok, who's next? Megan! Megan: Well, I've really been thinking but I just can't think of anything. Graham: I think our little Prom Queen is too afraid to disclose. Megan: Oh, really? What's your root, Graham? Graham: We're working on your issue here, not mine. You're deflecting. Mary: Actually, I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham. Graham: My mother got married in pants. [group applauds] Mary: All right, let's see, uh, Dolph! Dolph: Too many locker room showers with the varsity team. Mary: Hilary? Hilary: Um, all girl boarding school. Mary: Sinead. Sinead: I was born in France. Mary: Clayton. Clayton Dunn: My mom let me play in her pumps. Jan: I like balls. Mary: Why, thank you for that Jan. [group applauds] Mary: Joel? Joel: Traumatic... bris. So... yeah.
Graham: You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught! Megan: How'd YOU end up here? Graham: I got caught.
Megan: I'm a homosexual! [shouting] Megan: I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo. Mary: Congratulations, Megan. You have just taken your first step in your true direction! [group therapy applauds then embraces her] Megan: I'm a homosex... [cries] Mary: Okay. Go on now. Don't worry, Megan. It's gonna be okay. Megan: [drooling] No. Mary: Here, put these on. Megan: [sobbing] Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo. Oh, my god!
Peter Bloomfield: It's about your um... well... um... Nancy Bloomfield: Your little field trip to the Cocksucker Peter Bloomfield: Your field trip to the C...
Graham: What, would you tie her to your bed and zap her to death, or are you running low on batteries?
Mary: [to Graham, after she caught her making out with Megan] It's your choice: you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.
Megan: So it sounds stupid to you but I really love it. Cheerleading's the one thing that's kept me happy. It's exhilarating. Graham: I would love to see you cheer. Megan: Don't make fun of me! Graham: No, I'm not. I'm not. Don't you think maybe I'm just jealous that you love something?
Sinead: I'm Sinead. I like pain. I'm a homosexual.
Mike: Boys! Don't you see how sad and pathetic you all are? Always wanting something you can't have. If I catch you looking at another man like that ever again, you'll be watching sports... the whole weekend!
Sinead: If that little twink would've narced on me, heads would have rolled.
Megan: I'm stuck on "5, 6, 7, 8, God is good..." Graham: "God is straight!" Megan: Hey, that's good.
Lloyd: We're just trying to provide you all with a balanced perspective, to see that there are options. In the end, it's up to you whether you choose to live a... Larry: Lie. Lloyd: Whether you want to be who you are or keep it hidden is really more what we're about. Megan: So you run like, the underground homo railroad.
Dolph: I'm doing this for you, not for Clayton! Megan: Yeah, right.