Caddyshack II Quotes
When a crass new-money tycoon's membership application is turned down at a snooty country club, he retaliates by buying the club and turning it into a tacky amusement park.
Chandler Young: I'm Chandler Young.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage; I only have one last name.
Chandler Young: And quite an interesting last name it is.
Jack Hartounian: Hartounian!
Chandler Young: What is your background?
Jack Hartounian: My father was Armenian. My other was half Jewish, half English, half Spanish.
Chandler Young: That's three halves.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, she was a big woman.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage; I only have one last name.
Chandler Young: And quite an interesting last name it is.
Jack Hartounian: Hartounian!
Chandler Young: What is your background?
Jack Hartounian: My father was Armenian. My other was half Jewish, half English, half Spanish.
Chandler Young: That's three halves.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, she was a big woman.
Peter Blunt: Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit about the Peter Blunt system. You see, I don't go in for lawsuits and motions or any of the legal stuff. No, no, you see what happens is, uh, I find out where you live and then I come to your house, see? And I beat down your door with a fucking baseball bat! And, then I make a bonfire with the Chipendale, maybe roast that Golden Retriever, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, then eat it! And then I'm coming upstairs, junior, and I'm gonna grab you by your Brooks Bros. P.J.s, and then I'm gonna take your brand new B.M.W., and cram it up your tight ass! Do we have an understanding?
[the Youngs lost the golf game after the gopher switched the bomb ball]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [angry about her father] Mother, how could you marry a man with such a terrible short game?
Cynthia Young: Oh, shut up, Mary Frances, you spoiled, snotty, superficial, little bitch!
[Cynthia leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [offended] *What*!
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [angry about her father] Mother, how could you marry a man with such a terrible short game?
Cynthia Young: Oh, shut up, Mary Frances, you spoiled, snotty, superficial, little bitch!
[Cynthia leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [offended] *What*!
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Kate, I've decided that you must join my sorority, and I know that the Kappas are just gonna love you. There's only one thing: would you consider of changing your name? I was think thinking about taking out the "ounian" and shortening it to Kate Hart. Isn't that great?
Kate Hartounian: Whoa, wait a second. What is wrong with my real name?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Nothing. It's just that it sounds so...
Kate Hartounian: [sternly] So what?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Kate, you want people to think that you belong.
Kate Hartounian: I do belong - to a family.
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Well, if you want my honest opinion, Kate: I think that your family's real embarrassing, and I'm very happy that I'm not a part of it.
Kate Hartounian: Yeah, so am I.
[Kate roughly grabs Miffy]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: What?
[Kate throws Miffy on the ground as Miffy gets angry]
Kate Hartounian: Miffy, you are a stupid, superficial, snotty, little bitch.
[Kate leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [furiously] Oh, really? Really, Kate? Whatever! Whatev...
[Miffy gets hit from a branch and falls down the hill]
Kate Hartounian: Whoa, wait a second. What is wrong with my real name?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Nothing. It's just that it sounds so...
Kate Hartounian: [sternly] So what?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Kate, you want people to think that you belong.
Kate Hartounian: I do belong - to a family.
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Well, if you want my honest opinion, Kate: I think that your family's real embarrassing, and I'm very happy that I'm not a part of it.
Kate Hartounian: Yeah, so am I.
[Kate roughly grabs Miffy]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: What?
[Kate throws Miffy on the ground as Miffy gets angry]
Kate Hartounian: Miffy, you are a stupid, superficial, snotty, little bitch.
[Kate leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [furiously] Oh, really? Really, Kate? Whatever! Whatev...
[Miffy gets hit from a branch and falls down the hill]
Chandler Young: Your target's name is Jack Hartounian. I want him to be discouraged from erecting any more structures on Bushwood estates.
Capt. Tom Everett: Discouraged? As in "extreme prejudice"?
Chandler Young: We already tried extreme prejudice. It didn't work.
Capt. Tom Everett: No, I mean do you want him... Everett pulls out a gun.
Capt. Tom Everett: ...terminated?
Chandler Young: The less I know about that, the better.
Capt. Tom Everett: Good! Good, that's my policy exactly. You see, that way, when we're captured, and they attach the twelve-volt car batteries to our testicles... which can, does, and... has happened...
[Everett winces as electricity is heard]
Capt. Tom Everett: ...then we can honestly say we had nothing to do with it.
Capt. Tom Everett: Discouraged? As in "extreme prejudice"?
Chandler Young: We already tried extreme prejudice. It didn't work.
Capt. Tom Everett: No, I mean do you want him... Everett pulls out a gun.
Capt. Tom Everett: ...terminated?
Chandler Young: The less I know about that, the better.
Capt. Tom Everett: Good! Good, that's my policy exactly. You see, that way, when we're captured, and they attach the twelve-volt car batteries to our testicles... which can, does, and... has happened...
[Everett winces as electricity is heard]
Capt. Tom Everett: ...then we can honestly say we had nothing to do with it.
[Chandler Young has gotten Hartounian Construction's power turned off]
Peter Blunt: [on phone] That's hard to say, huh? Well, when can we get the power turned back on? That's hard to say, huh? Well, tell me something. Is it as hard to say as "Oh, my god! Somebody help me! There's a man in my office with a *flamethrower*"?
Peter Blunt: [on phone] That's hard to say, huh? Well, when can we get the power turned back on? That's hard to say, huh? Well, tell me something. Is it as hard to say as "Oh, my god! Somebody help me! There's a man in my office with a *flamethrower*"?
