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Joe's a car salesman with a problem. He has two days to sell 12 cars or he loses his job. This would be a difficult task at the best of times but Joe has to contend with his girlfriends (... See full summary »
Larry: (to cops) Stay back! (to Joey) Tell them to stay back or I'll blow this place and half the fuckin' block to hell. Joey: He says stay back or he's gonna blow this place and half the block to hell. Detective Walters (Gary Howard Klar) (on bullhorn): Yeah? With what? Larry: The stuff on my bike there. It's very explosive stuff. Joey: He's got stuff strapped to his bike! Det. Walters: So what? So's my little kid. Look, we wanna know what it is. Larry: M2 plastic. Joey: (to Larry) Plastic? Larry: M2 plastic. Joey: (to Larry) Plastique? Oh, shit. Larry: Yeah. Joey: M2 plastique! Det. Walters: M2 plastique? You tell him we don't believe him. Where the hell did he get that? Larry: Jersey. Joey: Jersey! Det. Walters: OK! OK! What does he want?
Molly: ...you have no respect for women. Joey: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question. Molly: I guess. Joey: We'll forget dinner...
[Joe is trading insults with a photographer] Joey: You know what you are - you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole.
Joey: Larry, I never did Donna. Larry: What?
[last lines] Joey: Mason! [hands Mason a business card] Joey: Hey, you want a deal, you give me a call. I think you know the number, right? Captain Mason: Thanks, O'Brien! Joey: You got it, huh! [to the camera] Joey: God, I love to sell! [chuckles] Joey: Oh, yeah!
[first lines] Funeral Director: [funeral procession of cars is halted and the engine of the hearse is smoking] I don't know what's wrong with it! I thought you guys were supposed to service this thing! Hearse Driver: I don't know why he didn't service it. Funeral Director: Yeah, yeah, "I don't know".