Joe's a car salesman with a problem. He has two days to sell 12 cars or he loses his job. This would be a difficult task at the best of times but Joe has to contend with his girlfriends (... See full summary »

Larry: (to cops) Stay back! (to Joey) Tell them to stay back or I'll blow this place and half the fuckin' block to hell.
Joey: He says stay back or he's gonna blow this place and half the block to hell.
Detective Walters (Gary Howard Klar) (on bullhorn): Yeah? With what?
Larry: The stuff on my bike there. It's very explosive stuff.
Joey: He's got stuff strapped to his bike!
Det. Walters: So what? So's my little kid. Look, we wanna know what it is.
Larry: M2 plastic.
Joey: (to Larry) Plastic?
Larry: M2 plastic.
Joey: (to Larry) Plastique? Oh, shit.
Larry: Yeah.
Joey: M2 plastique!
Det. Walters: M2 plastique? You tell him we don't believe him. Where the hell did he get that?
Larry: Jersey.
Joey: Jersey!
Det. Walters: OK! OK! What does he want?
Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
Joey: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
Molly: I guess.
Joey: We'll forget dinner...
[Joe is trading insults with a photographer]
Joey: You know what you are - you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole.
Joey: Larry, I never did Donna.
Larry: What?
[last lines]
Joey: Mason!
[hands Mason a business card]
Joey: Hey, you want a deal, you give me a call. I think you know the number, right?
Captain Mason: Thanks, O'Brien!
Joey: You got it, huh!
[to the camera]
Joey: God, I love to sell!
[chuckles]
Joey: Oh, yeah!
[first lines]
Funeral Director: [funeral procession of cars is halted and the engine of the hearse is smoking] I don't know what's wrong with it! I thought you guys were supposed to service this thing!
Hearse Driver: I don't know why he didn't service it.
Funeral Director: Yeah, yeah, "I don't know".
Larry: [to Joey] How many girls you got?