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A hot-shot race-car named Lightning McQueen gets waylaid in Radiator Springs, where he finds the true meaning of friendship and family.
Mater: I knew it! I knowed I made a good choice! Lightning McQueen: In what? Mater: My bes' friend.
Sally: Forty years ago, that interstate down there didn't exist. Lightning McQueen: Really? Sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way. Lightning McQueen: How do you mean? Sally: Well, the road didn't cut through the land like that interstate. It moved with the land, it rose, it fell, it curved. Cars didn't drive on it to make great time. They drove on it to have a great time.
Mack: [after having watched three Pixar films and noticing that each one contains John Ratzenberger] Hey... they're just using the same actor over and over. What kind of cut-rate production is this?
Lightning McQueen: Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer.
Lightning McQueen: You know, I've really missed you Sally. Sally: Well, I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand, and blah blah blah blah... [Both lean in to kiss] Mater: McQueen and Sally, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S- uh... I-N-T! Lightning McQueen: Great timing, Mater!
Lightning McQueen: Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving's incredible! Doc Hudson: Wonderful. Now go away. Lightning McQueen: Hey, I mean it. You've still got it! Doc Hudson: I'm asking you to leave. Lightning McQueen: Come on. I'm a racecar, you're... a much older racecar, but under the hood, you and I are the same. Doc Hudson: We are not the same! Understand? Now, get out! Lightning McQueen: How could a car like you quit at the top of your game? Doc Hudson: You think I quit? [Turns a light on a framed newspaper headline: "CRASH! Hudson Hornet out for season"] Lightning McQueen: Right. Your big wreck in '54. Doc Hudson: They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? "You're history." Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got a chance to show 'em. I keep that to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would... would find me here. Lightning McQueen: Hey, look, Doc, I'm not them. Doc Hudson: Oh yeah? Lightning McQueen: No, I'm not. Doc Hudson: When was the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time and I will take it all back. Uhuh, Didn't think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don't want 'em depending on someone they can't count on. Lightning McQueen: Oh like you? You've been here how long and your friends don't even know who you are? Who's caring about only himself? Doc Hudson: Just finish that road and get outta here!
Lightning McQueen: Will you stop that? Mater: Stop what? Lightning McQueen: That driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck or something. Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! Just watch this right here, lover boy.
The King: Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer. Lightning McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King. The King: You got more talent in one lugnut than a lot of cars has got on their whole body. Lightning McQueen: Really? Oh, that -... The King: But you're stupid. Lightning McQueen: Excuse me?
Mia: I'm Mia! Tia: I'm Tia! Mia, Tia: We're like your biggest fans! [they flash their headlights at him] Mia, Tia: Ka-chow! Lightning McQueen: Oh, I love being me.
Sarge: [at Sarge's SUV Boot Camp] A-TEN HUT! Kiss the pavement GOODBYE, gentlemen! When I'm finished with you, you'll have mud in places you didn't know you HAD. SUV: Yo! I've never been off road! Sarge: Well, THAT'S gonna change RIGHT now! ABOUT FACE! Drop and give me twenty miles! Go, Go, GO! SUV: Aw, MAN. Now I've got DIRT in my rims!
[first lines] Lightning McQueen: Okay, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast? Maybe I should have had breakfast? Brekkie could be good for me. No, no, no, focus. Speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning.
[repeated line] [Sarge is raising the flag while playing "Reveille" and Fillmore is playing Jimi Hendrix's rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" loudly next door] Sarge: Will you turn that disrespectful junk OFF? Fillmore: Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!
Lightning McQueen: I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand.
Lightning McQueen: I'm a very famous race car! Luigi: You are famous race car? A real race car? Lightning McQueen: Yes, I'm a real race car, what do you think? Look at me. Luigi: I have followed racing my entire life, my whole life! Lightning McQueen: Then you know who I am. I am Lightning McQueen. Luigi: Lightning McQueen! Lightning McQueen: Yes! Yes! Luigi: I must scream it to the world, my excitement from the top of someplace very high. Do you know many Ferraris? Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, they race on the European circuit; I'm in the Piston cup. [Luigi and Guido frown at McQueen] Lightning McQueen: What? Luigi: Luigi follow only the Ferraris.
Doc Hudson: [Doc and Lightning are racing in the dirt] Yeeehaa! Well, you sure ain't no dirt boy. Lightning McQueen: Not today, old man. I know all your tricks. [Doc suddenly swerves off screen] Lightning McQueen: [looking for him] Doc! Doc? Doc Hudson: [Flies over Lightning] YEEEHAAAAA! Not ALL my tricks, rookie!
Sally: Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone or what? Lightning McQueen: Huh? Sally: I mean, if you do, you gotta be clean, because even here, in hillbilly hell, we have standards.
Luigi: On your marks, get set... uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to... I can't believe it... go!
Sally: Just passin' through? Lightning McQueen: Actually, I thought I'd stop and stay awhile. I hear this place is back on the map. Sally: It is? Lightning McQueen: Yeah, there's some rumor floating around that some hotshot Piston Cup racecar is setting up his big racing headquarters here. Sally: Really? Ah, well, there goes the town.
Voice: [as Lightning stands in front of the silent crowd] Freebird!
Mater: Ain't no need to watch where I'm goin'; just need to know where I've been.
Lightning McQueen: [to Minny and Van, who are leaving] I'm telling you, you gotta help me! Don't leave me here! I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ's dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!
Sally: You called them? Doc Hudson: It's best for everyone, Sally. Sally: Best for everyone, or best for you?
Lightning McQueen: I thought you said you'd never come back. Doc Hudson: Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye. Mater: GOODBYE! Okay, I'm good.
Lightning McQueen: [seeing Sally for the first time] Holy Porsche...
Lightning McQueen: Oh, I am SO not taking you to dinner. Sally: That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie. Mater: Oh, man, you get to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lugnuts for somethin' like that!
Doc Hudson: I'll put it simple: if you're going hard enough left, you'll find yourself turning right. Lightning McQueen: Oh, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left. Yes, thank you! Or should I say No, thank you, because in Opposite World, maybe that really means thank you.
Lightning McQueen: Okay, you got me out here. Where are we going? Sally: I don't know.
[Lightning's done a sloppy job of repaving the road] Sally: It looks terrible. Lightning McQueen: Well it matches the rest of the town.
Lightning McQueen: I'm serious! He's won three Piston Cups! Mater: [spits out fuel] He did WHAT in his cup?
Lightning McQueen: After a while, why didn't you go back? Sally: I fell in love. Lightning McQueen: [disappointed] Oh... Sally: Yep. Lightning McQueen: Corvette?
Fillmore: [looking at a stoplight blinking yellow] I'm tellin' you, man, every third blink is slower. Sarge: The '60s weren't good to you, were they?
Sally: Flo! What do you have at your store? Flo: I have gas! Lots of gas! [Mater and Ramone snicker] Sally: OK, boys, stay with me.
Ramone: [as McQueen enters traffic court] Hey, you scratched my paint! I oughta take a blowtorch to you, man!
Mater: I'm happier 'n a tornado in a trailer park!
Chick Hicks: I am not comin'in behind you again, old man.
Lightning McQueen: All right, Luigi, give me the best set of black walls you've got. Luigi: No, no, no! You don't know what you want! Luigi know what you want. Black-wall tires, they blend into the pavement, but these white-wall tires, they say look at me, here I am, love me. Lightning McQueen: All right, you're the expert. Oh, and don't forget the spare. Luigi: Perfecto. Guido! Guido: Pit Stop! Luigi: He ha ha, what did Luigi tell you, eh? Lightning McQueen: Wow, you were right, better then a Ferrari, huh? Luigi: Eh, no.
Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Ciao. Hi. Lightning McQueen told me this was the best place in the world to get tires. How about setting me and my friends up with three or four sets each? Luigi: Aah! Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacher Ferrari in my store! A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido! Punch me in the face! This is the most glorious day of my life! [Luigi faints and tips over] Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Wow. [in Italian] Michael Schumacher Ferrari: Spero che il tuo amico si riprenda. Mi dicono che siete fantastici. [I hope that your friend recovers. I was told that you are fantastic] Guido: [Guido faints and tips over]
Doc Hudson: The sign says "Keep Out". Lightning McQueen: You have three Piston Cups! How could you have... Doc Hudson: I knew you couldn't drive. I didn't think you couldn't read. Lightning McQueen: You're the Hudson Hornet! Doc Hudson: Wait over at Flo's like I told ya. Lightning McQueen: I can't believe I didn't see it before. You're the Fabulous Hudson Hornet! You hold the record for most wins in a single season. Oh, man, we gotta talk. You have to show me some of your tricks. Doc Hudson: I already tried that. Lightning McQueen: I can't believe it. Just look at those trophies! Doc Hudson: You look. All I see is a bunch of empty cups.
Jay Limo: I don't know what's harder to find: Lightning McQueen or a crew chief who'll work with him.
Sally: [Guido and Luigi are fixing up Luigi's Casa Della Tires; Guido paints while Luigi cleans a window] Oh, Guido, è bellissimo! Guido: Che cosa? Sally: It looks great! This is great! Guido: Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo.
Lightning McQueen: Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California, pronto. Sheriff: Where's your lawyer? Lightning McQueen: I don't know. Tahiti, maybe? He's got a time share there. Sheriff: When the defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey, anyone wants to be his lawyer? [Everyone backs up except Mater] Mater: Shoot, I'll do it, Sheriff!
[a scene from "Monster Trucks Inc."] Mike Car: We're banished, genius! Stuck out here in this wasteland without chains! Sullivan Truck: But, Mike, the Boomobile's in trouble! She needs our help! Mike Car: You're still not listening! [Both turn around and Gasp] Abominable Snowplow: Welcome to the Himalayas! Snow cone? Mack: Oh, that Abominable Snowplow is quite the comic thespian!
[McQueen is going to surprise Sally with his new look] Mater: Here she comes! Lightning McQueen: Okay, places, everybody! Hurry! Act natural. [McQueen hides and everybody else gets in a perfectly straight line as Sally approaches] Mater, Ramone, Flo, Luigi, Sarge, Fillmore: Hi, Sally! Sally: All right, what's going on?
Sally: Hey there, Mater. Mater: Howdy, Sally! Sally: Hi, folks! [crowd murmuring greetings back] Lightning McQueen: [to Mater] You know her? Mater: She's the town attorney - and my fiancée. Lightning McQueen: What? Mater: [nudges McQueen playfully] I'm just kiddin'. She jus' likes me for my body.
Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree / K-I-S-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-T.
Lightning McQueen: Harv! How you doin', buddy? Harv: My star client disappears off the face of the earth! How do you think I'm doing? Lightning McQueen: Harv,I can explain. Harv: I'm doing great! You're everywhere! TV, radio, the papers. You can't BUY this kind of publicity! What do you need me for? That's just a figure of speech, by the way. You signed a contract.
Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend Darrell Cartrip. We're midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing. Darrell Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof right now! If this gets any more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me out of the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell! Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race, Darrell, will win the season title and the Piston Cup. Does "the King" - Strip Weathers - have one more victory in him before he retires? Darrell Cartrip: He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob Cutlass: And, as always, in the second place spot, we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell Cartrip: Chick thought this was his year, Bob - his chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was - Lightning McQueen! Bob Cutlass: You know, I don't think anyone expected this. The rookie sensation came into the season unknown, but everyone knows him now. Darrell Cartrip: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup, *and* land Dinoco? Bob Cutlass: The legend; the runner-up; the rookie. Three cars, *one* champion!
Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looking girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her just so I could speak to her. Lightning McQueen: What... are you talking about? Mater: I dunno.
Chick Hicks: Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it... because I didn't do it! HA-HA-HA!
Harv: It is such an honor to be your agent that it almost hurts me to take ten percent of your winnings. And merchandising. And ancillary rights in perpetuity. Anyway, what a race, huh, champ? Uh, didn't see it, but I heard you were great.
Lightning McQueen: [Bursts into Doc's clinic] Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? [Sees Sheriff on the hydraulic lift, his undercarriage exposed] Lightning McQueen: Oh! Oh, my gosh! Doc Hudson: What are you doin'? Sheriff: Get a good peek, city boy? Lightning McQueen: I-I just needed my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Doc Hudson: Well, wait for him at Flo's. Now, get out of here. Lightning McQueen: I've been trying to get out of here for three days! Sheriff: Hope you enjoyed the show!
Dusty Rust-eze: [as a homage to the show "Car Talk"] Don't drive like my brother! Rusty Rust-eze: Yeah, don't drive like my brother!
Luigi: You broke-a the road. You a very bad car!
Sally: So, Stickers. Last one to Flo's buys? Lightning McQueen: Oh, I don't know. I thought we could just go for a drive. Sally: Hmmmm... No. [races off] Lightning McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! [follows after Sally]
Doc Hudson: Hey, was that floating like a Cadillac, or was that stinging like a Beemer? I'm confused. You drive like you fix roads: lousy! Have fun fishing, Mater.
Bob Cutlass: Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race, Darrell, will win the season title and the Piston Cup. Does the King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before he retires? Darrell Cartrip: He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob Cutlass: And, as always, in the second place spot, we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell Cartrip: Chick thought this was his year, Bob, his chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was - Lightning McQueen! Bob Cutlass: You know, I don't think anyone expected this. The rookie sensation came into the season unknown, but everyone knows him now. Darrell Cartrip: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? Bob Cutlass: The legend, the runner-up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion!
Chick Hicks: Bring on the confetti! [confetti shoots out and hits him painfully] Chick Hicks: Ow! Ow! Easy with the confetti!
Lightning McQueen: Wow, this organic fuel is great! Why haven't I heard about it before? Fillmore: It's a conspiracy, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government. They're feeding us a bunch of lies, man!
Mater: [after Lightning loses the case and is sentenced to repair the road] Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees. Lightning McQueen: What?
Lightning McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take? Doc Hudson: Well, if the fella does it right, it should be about five days. Lightning McQueen: Five days? But I should be in California shmoozing Dinoco right now! Doc Hudson: Then if I were you, I'd quit yappin' and start workin'!
The King: What are you doin', kid? Lightning McQueen: I think the King should finish his last race. The King: You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that? Lightning McQueen: Ah. This grumpy old race car I know once told me somethin': it's just an empty cup.
[repeated line] Guido: Peet stop.
Doc Hudson: Sheriff, why don't you get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's? I'll keep an eye on him. Sheriff: Well, thanks, Doc! I've been feeling a quart low.
Sarge: Good to see ya, soldier. Come on by Sarge's Surplus Hut for all your government surplus needs. Minny: Oh, honey, surplus. Van: Honey, we have too much surplus.
Lightning McQueen: In your dreams, Thunder. Chick Hicks: Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, Thunder? Lightning McQueen: Well, you know, because Thunder always comes after... Lightning! [reporters crowd around McQueen] Chick Hicks: [to his pitcrew] Who here knew about the Thunder thing?
Darrell Cartrip: This is amazing! Bob Cutlass: The most incredible ending in the history of the world! Darrell Cartrip: Unbelievable! Bob Cutlass: And we don't even know who won!
Mater: [Out tractor tipping] I tell you what, buddy, it just don't get better than this. Lightning McQueen: Yep, you're living the dream, Mater boy.
Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused? Mater: To not to.
Chick Hicks: Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka!
Mater: My name is Mater. Lightning McQueen: Mater? Mater: Yeah, like tuh-mater, but without the "tuh."
Lizzie: The only guy strong enough to fix that road is Big Al. Ramone: Lizzie, Big Al left like 15 years ago. Lizzie: Then why are you bringing him up, you lemon?
Mater: [in a scared voice as a spotlight hits Lightning] It's the ghostlight! Kathy Copter: We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen.
Fillmore: You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPMs, man. Sarge: Oh, take a carwash, hippie.
Mater: [hurriedly] Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin' mailboxes, OK?
Doc Hudson: All right, I wanna know who's responsible for wrecking my town, Sheriff. I want his hood on a platter! I'm gonna put him in jail 'til he rots. No, check that... I'm gonna put him in jail 'til the jail rots on top of him, then I'm gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I'm... [Doc finally spots Lightning] Doc Hudson: Throw him outta here, Sheriff! I want him out of my courtroom, I want him out of our town! Case dismissed! Lightning McQueen: Yes! Mater: Boy, I'm pretty good at this lawyerin' stuff!
Lightning McQueen: I need to get to California pronto. Where am I? Mater: Where are ya? Shoot! You're in Radiator Springs, the cutest little town in Carburetor County.
Lightning McQueen: How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? Adios, Chuck! Not Chuck: And my name is not Chuck! Lightning McQueen: Oh, whatever.
Darrell Cartrip: Boogity Boogity Boogity! Let's go racin'!
Mater: [Fishing something from the bottom of a cliff] Look at this! It's my hood! It's my hood! I ain't seen this thing in twenty years! [Puts it on] Mater: Well, it fits perfectly. How do I look? [Sneezes, the hood falls back down the cliff] Mater: Aw, dang.
Doc Hudson: When was the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time, and I will take it all back. [McQueen is silent] Doc Hudson: Uh-huh. I thought so.
Luigi: My friend Guido, he always dream of giving a real race car a pit stop. Guido: Peet stop? Lightning McQueen: Hey, it's only one lap, guys. Uno lappo. Don't need any help. I work solo mio. Luigi: Fine. Race your own way. [leaves; Guido stays] Lightning McQueen: No pit stoppo. Comprende? Guido: Okay. [leaves]
Tia, Mia: We love you, Lightning!
Boost: Hey, yo, DJ! DJ: What up? Boost: We've got ourselves a nodder.
Fillmore: There's a lot of love out there, man. Sarge: Don't embarrass me, Fillmore.
Harv: Where are you? I can't even find you on my GPS. Lightning McQueen: I'm in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It's still here! Harv: Yeah, that's great, kid. Playtime is over, pal.
Mater: What's your name? Lightning McQueen: You... you don't know my name? Mater: No, uh... no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too?
Ramone: Oh, dude... are you crying? Sheriff: No! I'm happy! I don't have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I'm glad he's gone!
Marco: Hey! No admittance without a garage pass! Fred: Oh, it's OK! Lightning McQueen knows me! Mario Andretti: [approaching] Hey, Marco! Lovely day for a race, isn't it? Marco: Absolutely, Mr. Andretti! Mario Andretti: And good morning to you, uh... [glances at Fred's license plate] Mario Andretti: Fred. Fred: AHH! Mario Andretti knows my name! You have to let me in now! Marco: Sorry, buddy.
Fillmore: Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!
Mater: Maybe I should've uh... hooked him up to Bessie... and *then,* uh... then took the boot off.
Lightning McQueen: [to a Peterbilt] Hey, you're not Mack! Peterbilt: Mack? I ain't no Mack, I'm a Peterbilt for dang sake! Turn on your lights, ya moron!
Lightning McQueen: I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. Mater: You hurt your what?
Dusty Rust-eze: Thanks to you, Lightning, we had a banner year! Rusty Rust-eze: I mean, we might even clear enough to buy you some headlights! Dusty Rust-eze: Are you saying he doesn't have headlights? Rusty Rust-eze: That's what I'm tellin' ya - it's just stickers! Lightning McQueen: [bored] Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit. Dusty Rust-eze: Well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights!
Guido: [at the final Piston Cup race, Guido cheers Lightning on] Vai! Vai, vai! Wide Chick Pitty: Hey, shrimpie, where did McQueen find you, huh? Those round things are called tires, and they go under the car! [the entire pit crew laughs] Guido: [shaking his forklift] Con chi credi di parlare? Ma, con chi stai parlando? Luigi: No! No, no! You'll have your chance, Guido, you will have your chance!
Mater: When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch yeh. Go! [speeds off]
[tractors have stampeded the town] Sheriff: MATER! Mater: I wasn't tractor-tippin'! Sheriff: Then where'd all these gol-darn tractors come from?
Lightning McQueen: [to Red the fire truck] Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off. [Red backs away nervously] Lightning McQueen: Where's he goin'? Mater: Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates ya for killin' his flowers.
Doc Hudson: These are good folk around here who care about one another. I don't want them depending on someone they can't count on.
[listening to Lightning's complaints while hauling Bessie] Doc Hudson: Music. Sweet music.
Flo: Low and slow? Ramone: Oh, yeah, baby!
Lightning McQueen: [about Red, who just ran away after McQueen asked a favor of him] Where's he going? Mater: Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin' his flowers.
Mater: [looks down the road at the damage Lightning has to fix] HOLY SHOOT!
Mater: Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.
Lightning McQueen: [Sheriff is following him] Oh, no. Oh, maybe he can help me! [Loud bangs are heard] Lightning McQueen: He's shooting at me! Why is he shooting at me? [the bangs are actually Sheriff's tailpipe backfiring] Sheriff: I haven't gone this fast in years. I'm gonna blow a gasket or somethin'.
Lightning McQueen: [about Doc] Crazy grandpa car.
Fillmore: Fly away, Stanley. Be free!
Chick Hicks: Hey, Lightning! Yo, McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racing out there - by me!
[a scene from "A Bug's Life"] Voice: Just get in there. Go, go, go, go, go. Flik Car: Circus Cars? How can you be Circus Cars? [a Car Version of P.T. Flea shows up] P.T. Flea Car: These are the Lousiest Circus Cars in the world, and they're *gonna make me rich*. Mack: Wait a Minute here. They're just using the Same Actor over and over. What kind of a Cut Rate Production is this?
Bob Cutlass: We're midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing. Darrell Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof right now. If this gets any more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me out of the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell!
Flo: Whoo! Watchin' him is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink? Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I am a precisional instrument of speed and aeromatics.
Mack: What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps?
Sheriff: May Doc have mercy on your soul.
Luigi: Oh, oh, oh, oh, I like your style. You drive the hard bargain, eh? OK, we make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free!
Minny: [Ramone is asking two passers-by if they'd like one of his stylish paint jobs while lifting himself to show his undercarriage] Oh, look, honey... Von Dutch!
Mater: I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.
Lightning McQueen: Mack, thanks for being my pit crew today. Mack: Ah, don't worry about it, kid. It's the least I could do. After all, gas can is my middle name. Lightning McQueen: It is? Mack: Eh, not really.
[a scene from "Toy Car Story"] Woody Car: YOU ARE A TOY - CAR! Buzz Lightyear Car: You are a sad, strange little wagon. You have my pity. Farewell! [races away] Woody Car: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, you loony! [Different Scene] Hamm Truck: Gee, I hate to break up the Road Rally guys, but, THEY'RE HERE! Birthday Guests at 3 o'clock. Mack: [Chuckles] Whoever does the voice of that Little Piggy Truck, I must tell ya, he's one great actor.
Rusty Rust-eze: Winter is a grand old time/On this, there are no ifs or buts/But remember all that salt and grime/Can rust your bolts and freeze your -... Voice: [voice in crowd] Hey, look, there he is!
Van: I don't need a map! I have the GPS. Never need a map again, thank you.
[Red is in the way of Lizzie's view of Lightning McQueen] Lizzie: Red, will you move over? I want to get a look at that sexy hotrod.
Lightning McQueen: Do I spy a little pinstriping tattoo back there? Sally: [gasps and backs away, knocking over a bunch of caution cones] Oh, that. You saw that?
Lightning McQueen: Turn right to go left! Guess what? I tried it, and you know what? This crazy thing happened - I went right! Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people will think you're crazy. Lightning McQueen: [sarcastically] Thanks for the tip! Lizzie: Uh - what? I wasn't talking to you!
[last lines] [to Van] Minny: Oh, for the love of Chrysler! Can we please ask someone for directions? Van: [deranged] No! there's an on-ramp close! I KNOW it! I can FEEL it! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mater: That's Frank! [speeds away]
Lightning McQueen: [to Sally] Shall we cruise? Lizzie: [appears from nowhere] Why, thank you, dear, I'd love to! Lightning McQueen: No, not... [Lizzie drags McQueen away]
Sheriff: All rise! The honorable Doc Hudson presiding! [Ramone lifts himself up ten feet in the air] Luigi: Show-off.
Mater: Tractors is so dumb.
Fillmore: How about some organic fuel? Sarge: That freak juice?
Lightning McQueen: [Tar falls on his bolt sticker] Aw, man, that's just great! Mater: Hey, what's wrong? Lightning McQueen: My lucky sticker's all dirty. Mater: Ah, that ain't nothin'. I'll clean it for ya. [Starts snorting and hacking] Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, no! That won't be necessary.
Flo: Oo Ramone, mama ain't seen you that low in years! Ramone: I haven't seen a road like this in years!
Luigi: This is it, my last offer: you buy one tire, I give you seven snow tires for free!
Lightning McQueen: [at the Rust-eze post-race event, in a bored monotone] You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember: with a little Rust-eze - and an insane amount of luck - you too can look like me. Ka-chow.
Sven 'The Governator': Lightning McQueen must be found, at all costs!
[repeated line] Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow!
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