Tim Lippe has no idea what he's in for when he's sent to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to represent his company at an annual insurance convention, where he soon finds himself under the "guidance" of three convention veterans.

Tim Lippe: I don't trust people with pony-tails.
Tim Lippe: Do you realize I used to just stare and stare at you when you were teaching us about the rainforests or whatever? And I would think "I wonder what Mrs. V looks like with her clothes off." And then, boom, we run into each other in line at True Value and boom, here we are making love. Like, once a week. It's like it was fate or something. Did you ever used to look at me and think dirty things?
Macy Vanderhei: You were twelve.
Tim Lippe: Right.
Bree: [to Tim] You could fuck me in the ass if you want.
Ronald Wilkes: I do a pretty convincing Omar from the HBO program, The Wire.
Dean Ziegler: There's a separation between religion and insurance. It's in the constitution.
Tim Lippe: Do you have root beer?
Dean Ziegler: You wanna nipple on that?
Dean Ziegler: Classic Wilkes! Almost not a joke!
Tim Lippe: Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.
Macy Vanderhei: It's Macy, Tim. I told you to call me Macy.
Tim Lippe: Sorry, I keep forgetting. It's a hard habit to break.
Macy Vanderhei: [in a sexually suggestive tone] Well, you'd better get it right soon, or I'm gonna have to make you stay after school.
[last lines]
Tim Lippe: Two bags... Awesome.
Dean Ziegler: Lemke may have been a class-A deviant, but what the fuck does that have to do with selling insurance?
Dean Ziegler: Janita, double stock my mini bar, please. 1019, Thank you. Taco Bill, back in the saddle. Hey Ned, get some honey on your stinger? I love it
Joan Ostrowski-Fox: Thank you, Insurance Man.
Dean Ziegler: Degenerate? I love it, that's me!
Dean Ziegler: Selling insurance is a business, it's not a God damn Boy Scout troop.
[first lines]
Tim Lippe: [voice-over] One of the reasons I love Brown Valley so much is that when you do business here, chances are good you know the person you're dealing with.
Tim Lippe: She's not my mom! Okay? She's my girlfriend and we're basically pre-engaged.
Dean Ziegler: Woah woah. My bad. Beautiful woman, in any case. Wait a minute, what's "pre-engaged"? 'Cause if i was "pre-engaged", I would be pre-porking anything with a pulse.

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