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In 2027, in a chaotic world in which women have become somehow infertile, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea.
Miriam: As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.
Jasper: Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance. [offers Miriam a joint] Miriam: Maybe I shouldn't. Jasper: You already did. Take another one. Now cough. What do you taste? Miriam: Strawberries! Jasper: Strawberries? That's what it's called: Strawberry Cough! Kee: Wicked! Jasper: So. You've got faith over here, right? And chance over there. Miriam: Like yin and yang. Jasper: Sort of. Miriam: Or Shiva and Shakti. Jasper: Lennon and McCartney! Kee: [looking at pictures] Look, Julian and Theo. Jasper: Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protestors in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born. Kee: [picks up another photo] This is him? Jasper: Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis. Miriam: "Praxis"? What happened? Jasper: Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices? Kee: Baby's got Theo's eyes. Jasper: Yeah. Miriam: Oh, boy. That's terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason. Jasper: That, I don't know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.
Jasper: Pull my finger!
Julian Taylor: Y'know that ringing in your ears? That 'eeeeeeeeee'? That's the sound of the ear cells dying, like their swan song. Once it's gone you'll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Theodore Faron: Julian? I haven't seen you in twenty years. You look good. The picture the police have of you doesn't do you justice. Julian Taylor: What do the police know about justice?
Patric: This never fucking happened, so don't go telling tales 'cause we'll be watching you. At work, when you sleep, when you have a piss, we'll be watching. All the *fucking* time. Theodore Faron: Jeez, your breath stinks. Patric: No, it doesn't. Theodore Faron: Yes, it does.
Jasper: So, the Human Project is havin' this dinner and all the wisest men in the world are there... Theodore Faron: [scoffing] Human Project, why do people believe this crap? You know even if these people existed with these facilities in these secret locations, fuck me, that's strong! Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, doesn't matter! Too late. World went to shit. Know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for fuck's sake. Jasper: [taking a puff off the joint] I was just tryin' to tell a joke, man. Theodore Faron: Oh, I'm sorry, go on. Jasper: No, I'm not tellin' it now! Theodore Faron: No, c'mon Jasper, go on! Jasper: No, fuck it! I'm not tellin' it to you! Theodore Faron: C'mon, I'm sorry! Jasper: Ok, the Human Project gives this great, big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They're tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery: why are all the women infertile? Why can't we make babies anymore? So, some say it's genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution, same ol', same ol'. So, anyway, in the corner, this Englishman's sitting, he hasn't said a word, he's just tuckin' in his dinner. So, they decide to ask him, they say, "Well, why do you think we can't make babies anymore?" And he looks up at 'em, he's chewin' on this great big wing and he says "I haven't the faintest idea," he said, "but this stork is quite tasty isn't he?"
Luke: Julian was wrong. She thought it could be peaceful. But how can it be peaceful when they try to take away your dignity?
Jasper: What did you do for your birthday? Theodore Faron: Nothing. Jasper: Oh come on, you must have done something. Theodore Faron: Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit. Jasper: That's called a hangover, Amigo.
Kee: Froley. Theodore Faron: Froley. Kee: Name my baby Froley. Theodore Faron: It's the first baby in 18 years. You can't call it Froley. Kee: Says who?
Theodore Faron: Who's the father? Kee: Whiffet! I'm a virgin. Nah! Be great, though, wouldn't it? Fuck knows. I don't know half the wankers' names.
Kee: [giving birth] Fuck! Theo, I can't fucking do it! Theodore Faron: Yes, you fucking can!
Theodore Faron: I can't really remember when I last had any hope, and I certainly can't remember when anyone else did either. Because really, since women stopped being able to have babies, what's left to hope for?
Julian Taylor: You're smoking? Theodore Faron: Yeah; it's not working.
Radio Announcer: And now one for all the nostalgics out there. A blast from the past all the way back from 2003, that beautiful time when people refused to accept that the future was just around the corner.
Theodore Faron: A hundred years from now there won't be one sad fuck to look at any of this. What keeps you going? Nigel: You know what it is, Theo? I just don't think about it.
[first lines] Newsreader: Day 1,000 of the Siege of Seattle. Newsreader: The Muslim community demands an end to the Army's occupation of mosques. Newsreader: The Homeland Security bill is ratified. After eight years, British borders will remain closed. The deportation of illegal immigrants will continue. Good morning. Our lead story.
Theodore Faron: Oh yeah, there you go, that's what you always do when it gets tough, you walk away. Julian Taylor: This is our stop.
Kee: Dylan. I'll call my baby Dylan. It's a girl's name, too.
Jasper: Shantih, Shantih, Shantih!
Syd: Alright, yer 'fugees now. Show Syd the 'fugee face. Sad face. [goofy frown] Syd: Sad 'fugee face.
Kee: I want to call her Bazouka. Theodore Faron: Bazouka? Kee: You don't like it? Theodore Faron: I was getting used to Froley.
[repeated line] Kee: Wicked.
Luke: [his last line] I had a sister...
Theodore Faron: [as the building they're in is being attacked] How is she? Kee: Annoyed!
Theodore Faron: [about Kee's name choice for her unborn child] This is the first baby born in 20 years and you want to name it Froley?
Theodore Faron: I was told to tell you that you're a fascist pig.
Theodore Faron: You Ok? Kee: Yeah, You? Theodore Faron: Yeah... What a day.
Jasper: Here try this. [hands him a joint] Theodore Faron: [Takes a puff] Yea, now what? Jasper: Cough! Theodore Faron: Cough? Jasper: Yes cough! [Theo coughs once, then starts to cough repeatedly] Jasper: You taste it? It tastes like strawberries!
Julian Taylor: [shouting] Cover Kee!
Soldier: Cease fire! Cease fire!
[last lines] Kee: Theo, the boat. The boat! It's OK. We are safe now. We're safe.
Kee: What the fuck you staring at? Theodore Faron: Apparently, the pleasure is all mine.
Theodore Faron: She's pregnant! Luke: Yeah, it's a miracle, innit?
Theodore Faron: They got me.
Jasper: I'm glad you don't take cream or sugar Amigo, losing you and Baby Diego in the same day... would be too hard to bare. Theodore Faron: Well that was even worse, everybody crying. I mean... Baby Diego? Come on, the guy was a wanker! Jasper: Yeah, but he was the -youngest- wanker on Earth!
Jasper: Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for.
Julian Taylor: Protect Kee!
TV Reporter: The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet, the youngest person on earth was 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes old.