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The relationships of two couples become complicated and deceitful when the man from one couple meets the woman of the other.
Alice: Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.
Dan: I fell in love with her, Alice. Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.
Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches? Alice: Don't eat fish. Dan: Why not? Alice: Fish piss in the sea. Dan: So do children. Alice: Don't eat children either.
Larry: Alice, tell me something true. Alice: Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off - but it's better if you do.
Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do! Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off? Anna: Yes! Larry: You like his cock? Anna: I love it! Larry: You like him coming in your face? Anna: Yes! Larry: What does it taste like? Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter! Larry: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.
Dan: I want Anna back. Larry: She's made her choice. Dan: I owe you an apology. I fell in love with her. My intention was not to make you suffer. Larry: So where's the apology? Ya cunt. Dan: I apologize. If you love her you'll let her go so she can be happy. Larry: She doesn't want to be happy. Dan: Everybody wants to be happy. Larry: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing.
Alice: No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?
Larry: [on a photography exhibit] What do you think? Alice: It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie. Larry: I'm the big fat liar's boyfriend. Alice: Bastard!
Alice: I don't love you anymore. Goodbye.
Dan: And you left him, just like that? Alice: It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye." Dan: Supposing you do still love them? Alice: You don't leave. Dan: You've never left someone you still love? Alice: Nope.
Larry: What does your cunt taste like? Alice: Heaven.
Alice: I'm not a whore. Larry: I wouldn't pay.
Larry: I want you to tell me your name. Please. [throws down a note] Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane. Larry: Your real name. [throws down another note] Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane. Larry: Careful. [throws down another note] Alice: Thank you. Still Jane. Larry: I've about got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money, and you tell me what your real name is, Alice. [throws down the rest of his money] Alice: I promise. [picks up some of the money] Alice: Thank you. My real name... is plain... Jane Jones.
Alice: I don't want to lie. I can't tell the truth. So it's over.
Alice: Is it because she's successful? Dan: No. It's because... she doesn't need me.
Anna: Why is the sex so important? Larry: Because I'm a fucking caveman!
Anna: I'm sorry you're... Larry: Don't say it! Don't you fucking say you're too good for me. I am, but don't say it.
[first lines] Alice: Hello, stranger.
Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram. Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself! You writer! You liar!
Dan: What's so great about the truth? Try lying for a change, it's the currency of the world.
Larry: I know who you are. I love you. I love everything about you that hurts.
Alice: How can one man be so endlessly disappointing? Dan: That's my charm.
Alice: You still fancy me? Dan: ...Of course. Alice: You're lying. I've been you.
Alice: Can I still see you? [Dan stands silent] Alice: Dan can I still see you? Answer me. Dan: I can't see you. If I see you I'll never leave you. Alice: What will you do if I find someone else? Dan: Be jealous.
Anna: Love bores you. Dan: No, it disappoints me.
Dan: I'll always love you. I hate hurting you. Alice: Then why are you?
Dan: Why did you fuck him? Alice: I wanted to. Dan: Why? Alice: I desired him. Dan: Why? Alice: You weren't there! Dan: Why him? Alice: He asked me nicely. Dan: You're a liar. Alice: So? Dan: Who are you? Alice: I'm no one! [Alice spits in Dan's face. Dan raises his hand to slap her] Alice: Go on, hit me. It's what you want. come on, hit me, fucker! [Dan slaps Alice]
Larry: So Anna tell me your bloke wrote a book. Any good? Alice: Of course. Larry: It's about you isn't it? Alice: Some of me. Larry: Oh? What did he leave out? Alice: The truth.
Larry: You don't know the first thing about love, because you don't understand compromise.
Dan: What were you doing in New York? Alice: You know... Dan: Well no, I don't. What, were you studying? Alice: Stripping. Alice: [Dan looks shocked] Look at your little eyes... Dan: I can't see my little eyes
Larry: Is he a good fuck? Anna: Don't do this. Larry: Just answer the question! Is he good? Anna: Yes. Larry: Better than me? Anna: Different. Larry: Better? Anna: Gentler. Larry: What does that mean? Anna: You know what it means. Larry: Tell me! Anna: No. Larry: I treat you like a whore? Anna: Sometimes. Larry: Why would that be?
Larry: Of course she enjoyed it. As you know, she loves a guilty fuck.
Dan: You came to, you focused on me, you said, Hello, stranger. Alice: What a FLOOZY!
Larry: I used to come here a million years ago, when it was a punk club. The stage was... Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you? Alice: Four. Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies. Alice: My nappies were flared.
Alice: Why isn't love enough?
Alice: [in the emergency room] Are we in for a long wait? Dan: [indicating an old woman] She was 21 when she came in.
Larry: There's a girl out there who calls herself Venus, what's her real name? Alice: Pluto.
Larry: Are you dressed because you thought I might hit you? What do you think I am? Anna: I've been hit before. Larry: Not by me!
Larry: You shouldn't smoke. Alice: Fuck off. Larry: I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to say things like that.
Dan: Deception is brutal, I'm not pretending otherwise. Alice: How? How does it work? How do you do this to someone? [Dan is silent] Alice: Not good enough!
Alice: So this man comes into the café today, and he says, "Hey waitress, what are you waiting for?" Dan: Funny guy. Alice: So I go, "I'm waiting for a man to come in here and fuck me sideways with a beautiful line like that." Dan: So what did he ask for? Alice: He asked for a cup of tea with two sugars.
Dan: It's not safe out there. Alice: Oh, and it's safe in here?
Dan: I saw this face, this vision; the moment you stepped into the road. It was the moment of my life. Alice: This is the moment of your life. Dan: You were perfect. Alice: I still am.
Larry: What would happen if I touched you now? Alice: I would call security. Larry: And what would they do? Alice: They would ask you to leave and ask you not to come back. Larry: And if I refused to leave? Alice: They would remove you. Those are security cameras in the ceiling. Larry: I think it's best I don't attempt to touch you. I'd like to touch you. Later.
Dan: When I get back, please tell me the truth. Alice: Why? Dan: Because I'm addicted to it. Because without it, we're animals. Trust me.
Anna: I don't want trouble. Dan: I'm not trouble. Anna: You're taken. Dan: I've got to see you. Anna: Tough. Dan: You... KISSED me! Anna: What are you - TWELVE?
Alice: Do you want one? Larry: No. Yes. No. Fuck it, yes! Larry: [takes the pack] No. I've given up.
Dan: Do you have any children? Anna: No. Dan: Would you like some? Anna: Yes, but not today.
Larry: You're seeing him now? Since when? Anna: Since my opening last year. [pause] Anna: I'm disgusting. Larry: You're phenomenal. You're so clever.
Larry: I'm Larry, the doctor. Anna: Hello, doctor Larry. Larry: Feel free to call me The Sultan.
Larry: A good fight is never clean.
Larry: [speaking to Anna] You'd be my whore. And in return I will pay you with your liberty.
Larry: Yes, I saw her naked. No, I did not fuck her.
Dan: At six, we stand round the computer and look at the next day's page, make final changes, add a few euphemisms for our own amusement. Alice: Such as? Dan: "He was a convivial fellow" - meaning he was an alcoholic. "He valued his privacy" - gay. "He enjoyed his privacy" - raging queen. Alice: What would my euphemism be? Dan: She was... disarming. Alice: That's not a euphemism. Dan: Yes, it is.
Larry: I'll pay you. Alice: I don't need your money. Larry: You have my money. Alice: Thank you.
Anna: Don't stop loving me. I can see it draining out of you. It's me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do and it meant nothing. If you love me enough, you'll forgive me.
Alice: What's your work? Dan: I'm sort of... journalist. Alice: What sort? Dan: I write obituaries.
Larry: Dan... Dan: Yes? Larry: I lied to you, I did fuck Alice.
Larry: You still pissing about on the Net? Dan: Not recently. Larry: I wanted to kill you. Dan: I thought you wanted to fuck me. Larry: Don't get lippy. I liked your book, by the way. Dan: Thanks. [Sniffs] Dan: You stand alone.
Larry: Why didn't you just tell me the second I walked through the door? Anna: I was scared. Larry: You're a coward, you spoiled bitch.
Larry: Dan, I lied to you. I did fuck Alice. Sorry for telling you. I'm just not big enough to forgive you, Buster.
Alice: You all done? Dan: Mmm. Alice: How's the photographer? Dan: Good. Professional. Rigorous. Thievy. One of your lot. Alice: What, female? Dan: Americano. [They start up the stairs] Dan: Come on. [They walk into a room] Dan: Anna, Alice. Anna: Hi. Alice: Sorry to interrupt. Anna: No, we've just finished. Would you like some tea? Alice: No, thanks. I've been serving it all day. Can I use your loo? Anna: Sure. Just through there. [Alice walks off] Anna: She is beautiful. Dan: I've got to see you. Anna: No. Dan: What is this, patriotism?
Anna: Why are you dressed? Larry: Because I think you may be about to leave me and I didn't want to be wearing a dressing gown.
Anna: I don't kiss strange men. Dan: Neither do I.
Alice: Who was your last boyfriend? Anna: My husband. Alice: Was he English? Anna: Very.
[as Alice strips for Larry] Larry: Are you flirting with me? Alice: Maybe. Larry: Are you allowed to flirt with me? Alice: Sure. Larry: Really? Alice: No, I'm not. I'm breaking all the rules. Larry: You're mocking me! Alice: Yes, I'm allowed to flirt.
Dan: Look me in the eyes. Tell me you're not in love with me. Anna: I'm not in love with you. Dan: You just lied.
Dan: You've ruined my life. Anna: You'll get over it.
Dan: So, he's a dermatologist. Can you get more boring than that? Anna: Obituarist? Dan: Failed novelist, please.
Larry: But we're happy... Aren't we?
Dan: This will hurt.
Dan: I love you, and I need a piss.
Dan: I'm your stranger. Jump!
Larry: You're mocking me. Alice: Yes I'm allowed to flirt. Larry: To prise my money from me. Alice: To prise your money from you I may do or say as I please. Larry: Except touch? Alice: We're not allowed to touch.
Alice: So you're Anna's boyfriend. Larry: A princess *can* kiss a toad. Alice: Frog. Larry: Toad. Alice: Frog. Larry: Toad. Frog. Lobster. They're all the same.
Larry: You think because you don't love us, or desire us, or even like us, you think you've won. Alice: It's not a war.
Dan: You love her like a dog loves its owner. Larry: And the owner loves the dog for so doing. Dan: You'll hurt her. You'll never forgive her. Larry: Of course I'll forgive her. I *have* forgiven her. Without forgiveness we're savages. You're drowning.
Larry: As dermatological conferences go, it was a riot.
Larry: [about Alice] She has the moronic of beauty of youth, but she's sly.
Larry: And on some small level, I think you owe me something for deceiving me so exquisitely.
Larry: Did you do it here? Anna: No. Larry: Why not? Anna: Do you wish we did? Larry: Just tell me the truth. Anna: Yes, we did it here. Larry: Where? Anna: [points] There. Larry: On this? We had our first fuck on this. Did you think of me?
Larry: So... you're a stripper. Alice: Yeah... and? Larry: [Larry leans in to kiss her, then he stops and begins to walk away] You take care now.
Larry: Are you leaving me? Because of this? Why? Anna: Dan. Larry: Cupid? He's our joke.
Alice: [to Daniel] You're a piece of shit.
Larry: Everyone needs looking after.
Larry: You forget you're dealing with a clinical observer of the human carnival. Anna: Am I, now? Larry: Oh, yes. Anna: You seem more like the cat that got the cream, you can stop licking yourself.
Larry: He's a stringy fucker.
[each commenting on the other's lover] Larry: He's very pretty. Alice: She's... very tall.
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