When an expedition to the African Congo ends in disaster, a new team is assembled to find out what went wrong.

Captain Wanta: [Homolka is eating a cake] Mr Homolka?
Herkermer Homolka: Yes?
Captain Wanta: Stop eating my sesame cake.
[Homolka pauses in confusion]
Captain Wanta: [shouting angrily] STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!
[Homolka spits out the cake]
Captain Wanta: What are you doing in my country, bag of shit?
Herkermer Homolka: Captain, please, I only wish to explore and discover...
Captain Wanta: This fellow
Captain Wanta: [pokes Homolka's face with a stick] is a big. Bag. Of. Shit.
Captain Wanta: [to Monroe] You should shake this RAT from off your neck. He owes money to everyone everywhere he goes. I will ask you to wait outside Mr. Homolka!
Monroe: When the moon is like that, every monkey for 200 miles thinks he's Elvis Presley.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Excuse me, we already hired a guide: Robertson...
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds, yeah, I fired him.
Dr. Peter Elliot: You what?
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds is a bird-watcher.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I hired Robertson Reynolds!
Eddie Ventro: You would! You have any idea what's going on in the Congo as of the radio show this morning? The Kigani have had it with Zaire, AND they're eating people. You go in there with Robertson Reynolds, you'll be coming out somebody's bowel movement.
[Hormolka is poised in the doorway of a crippled DC-3, unable to jump]
Herkermer Homolka: Push me, please.
[Samahani shoves him with both hands, but he still doesn't move]
Herkermer Homolka: Harder, please.
[Samahani laughs, gets behind Hormolka, grabs an overhead rail and kicks him out with both feet]
Captain Wanta: Have some, uh, coffee and cake.
[they all sit, no one partakes of anything]
Captain Wanta: [angrily] HAVE SOME!
Richard, Elliot's Assistant: This is pure Kafka...
Hospital Interrogator: Who's Kafka! Tell me!
Monroe: So why'd you quit the CIA?
Dr. Karen Ross: I never worked for the CIA.
Monroe: Of course you didn't. But if you HAD worked for the CIA, why would you quit?
Dr. Karen Ross: 'Cause they're a loveless bunch of sons of bitches.
Monroe: And you're not?
Dr. Karen Ross: And I'm not.
Monroe: Glad to hear it.
Richard: So, what was your name again?
Claude: Claude.
Richard: Oh. Well, that's a very odd name for someone from... uh... where are you from again?
Claude: Mbasa.
Richard: Yeah, that's a very odd name for someone from Mbasa.
Claude: Have you ever been to Mbasa?
Richard: Um, no.
Claude: Then what do you know about it?
Dr. Karen Ross: This is for you Charlie...
[zaps satellite with laser]
Captain Wanta: Stop eating my sesame cake.
Herkermer Homolka: [stops in mid bite, eyes wide]
Captain Wanta: Stop eating my sesame cake!
Amy the Gorilla: Ugly gorillas. Ugly. Go away.
Captain Wanta: [after Monroe pays him with two handfuls of money] MORE.
[last lines]
Monroe: [in hot air balloon] There's a wind.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I hope it blows us some place good.
Dr. Karen Ross: Me too.
Monroe: And this is your cover?
Dr. Karen Ross: Yes
Dr. Peter Elliot: I'm nobody's cover. Cover for what?
Monroe: ...find yourself in the middle of something.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Cover for what?
Monroe: I don't know and she won't tell you. But the kind of money her company's throwing around... they don't spend that on any gorilla. Relax. You're in better hands than you *should* be.
Dr. Karen Ross: Aren't you human?
Travis: I'll be human later!
[first lines]
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [over PA system] Doctor Ross. Doctor Ross. We've got satellite in the Congo.
Dr. Karen Ross: What did they say, Rudy?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: I can't repeat anything in here.
Dr. Karen Ross: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [trying her access card] It won't work.
Dr. Karen Ross: You changed the code already?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: The old man's got me changing it every 3 hours now.
[imitating Cary Grant for voice print]
Rudy, TraviCom Security: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.
Dr. Karen Ross: Very inventive!
Dr. Karen Ross: Are you serving that ape a martini?
Amy: Amy good gorilla.
Monroe: I'm your great white hunter for this trip, though I happen to be black.
Monroe: Eddie! What happened to your head?
Eddie: Customs guy, whacked me in the head with a can of peanut oil for stamping visas. I'm never goin back to that country, man. Those people have permanently wigged out!
Dr. Karen Ross: Name your price.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I don't have a price! I'm not a pound of sugar, I'm a primatologist!
Monroe: They just blew up the president's car.
Eddie: That was the president's car? Did they get him?
Monroe: That's the bad news: no, they didn't.
Eddie: [to Karen Ross] Mr. Travis asked me to meet you at the airport, set up your expedition.
Dr. Peter Elliot: HER expedition? She's just along for the ride!
Eddie: Whatever, be an asshole.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Who is this guy?
Eddie: Eddie Ventro, transportation and equipment. But I don't supply assholes with new personalities.
Dr. Karen Ross: Are you sure there aren't some kind of gorillas that kill.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Please, Dr. Ross. What's your area of expertise? Folk-singing?
Dr. Karen Ross: [smugly] Communications technology.
Dr. Peter Elliot: So you're a geek with a cellular phone.
Dr. Karen Ross: I'm a scientist. But you and your protege, as far as I can see, belong in the circus.
[looks at Amy eating flowers]
Monroe: Quite frankly, the twentieth century sucks. Maybe the twenty-first will be better.
Dr. Karen Ross: [Handing Peter a pistol] Here, Peter, take this.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I don't like guns.
Dr. Karen Ross: I didn't ask if you like it - take it.
[Elliot, visibly anxious, approaches the door of the DC3 to jump]
Samahani: [laughing] You want me to push you too?
Captain Wanta: So Dr. Ross, I see you used to work for the C.I.A, and now you're Travi Com. Travi Com pays better than the C.I.A?
Dr. Karen Ross: You have a BIG mouth.
Captain Wanta: Everybody says that about me!
Dr. Peter Elliot: [as everyone on the plane prepares to jump] Why are they putting on parachutes?
Dr. Karen Ross: Figure it out!
Dr. Peter Elliot: [the crew members begin jumping out of the plane. Monroe hands Peter a parachure] This isn't going to work!
Monroe: Oh, yes, it is. I'll take Amy.
Dr. Peter Elliot: She might get hurt. I can't risk it!
Monroe: Do you know how to fly this plane?
Dr. Peter Elliot: No.
Monroe: [nods toward the cockpit, where no one is at the controls] Well, the pilot and co-pilot are already gone, so what are you going to do?
Herkermer Homolka: You've got to get me out of here!
Monroe: Take a number.
Dr. Peter Elliot: You're some kind of criminal, aren't you?
Monroe: Aren't we all?
Dr. Peter Elliot: No. I'm not a criminal, I'm a scientist.
Monroe: Scientist? I run a few guns. You sons of bitches ruin the world.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Oh, no! The bad apes have the crystal lasers!
Dr. Karen Ross: [Soldiers with guns run by] Who are they?
Eddie Ventro: [to soldiers] Hiya fellas!
[to Karen]
Eddie Ventro: Fuck if I know, and it don't pay to ask.
Eddie Ventro: Wow, a talking gorilla! I can feel the money hairs on the back of my neck going "WOO-WOO-WOO".
Monroe: When these little African countries get into a dispute, they tend to just murder everybody. They live for the opportunity to settle scores... and they have a lot of scores to settle.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Why are YOU going to Africa?
Dr. Karen Ross: ...Find something I lost.
Dr. Karen Ross: Why teach an ape to talk?
Dr. Peter Elliot: "A lonely impulse of delight."
Dr. Karen Ross: William Butler Yates.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Very good.
Dr. Karen Ross: Did it work? You're not lonely anymore?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Why are *you* going to Africa?
Dr. Karen Ross: To find something I lost...
Captain Wanta: [stapling shut a bag of money] Don't want nobody peeking!
Monroe: The ghost tribe has several levels of "dead." Someone's not dead until they're completely "dead."
Monroe: That region of the Congo's uninhabited.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, something inhabits it.
Dr. Peter Elliot: What exactly did you see on that tape?
Dr. Karen Ross: A camp destroyed. People dead. A grey gorilla...
Dr. Peter Elliot: There's no such thing as a grey gorilla.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, I saw one.
Dr. Peter Elliot: It's hard to believe at this late date...
Monroe: Why are you going in there?
Dr. Karen Ross: Two men are unaccounted for: Geoffrey Weams, and Charles Travis, my fiance... My FORMER fiance.
Monroe: Your former?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Well, we better get to him then.
Dr. Karen Ross: Tell me you love your son!
Travis: I do!
Dr. Karen Ross: And that's why you're sending me!
Travis: It is!
Dr. Karen Ross: Allright. But if I have one moment, one *moment* when I think otherwise, I will make you sorry. And that's a promise.

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