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When a shy groom practices his wedding vows in the inadvertent presence of a deceased young woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her.
Victor Van Dort: With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.
Bonejangles: Hit it, boys. Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer,/Least those of you who still got an ear./I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry/Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride! Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... Bonejangles: Well, our girl was a beauty known for miles around/When a mysterious stranger came into town./He was plenty good-lookin', but down on his cash./And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast/When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope/So our lovers came up with a plan to elope! Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... Bonejangles: [after instrumental] That's right. Okay. Oh, yeah. Come on, boys, pick it up. Yeah. Like it. Okay, Chancy, take it. Yeah. Yeah! That's nice. Yeah. So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night./They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight./Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove./You don't need much when you're really in love./Except for a few things, or so I'm told,/Like the family jewls and a sachel of gold./Then next to the graveyard by the old oak tree,/On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three,/She was ready to go, but where was he? Short Dead Cook: And then? Bonejangles: She waited. Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum: And then? Bonejangles: There in the shadows, was it her man? Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook: And then? Bonejangles: Her little heart beat so loud! Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook, Paul The Head Waiter: And then? Bonejangles: And then, baby, everything went black./Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust./Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust./So she made a vow lyin' under that tree/That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free./Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand./Then out of the blue comes this groovy young man/Who vows forever to be by her side./And that's the story of our own corpse bride! Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Corpse Bride: I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor, but you are not mine.
The Corpse Bride: Get out! Barkis Bittern: Oh, I'm leaving. [evil laugh] Barkis Bittern: [picking up the wine goblet] But first! A toast, to Emily. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? Hm?
Old Woman: [hitting skeleton with her walker] Bounder! Alfred the Skeleton: Sweetie pie! Old Woman: Monster! [hits him again] Alfred the Skeleton: Buttercup. Old Woman: Cad. Alfred the Skeleton: GERTRUDE! Old Woman: [adjusts her glasses] Alfred? Oh! You've been dead for fifteen years! Alfred the Skeleton: [grabs old woman] Frankly, my dear, [dips old woman] Alfred the Skeleton: I don't give a damn! [kisses her]
[the Corpse Bride recognizes Lord Barkis] The Corpse Bride: You! Barkis Bittern: Emily? [Lord Barkis and Emily are shocked to see each other] The Corpse Bride: You! Barkis Bittern: But, but I left you. The Corpse Bride: For dead!
Maggot: [singing] What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double? Black Widow Spider: [singing] She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile! The Corpse Bride: How about a pulse? Maggot: Overrated by a mile! Maggot, Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overvalued! Overblown! If he only knew the you that we know! Black Widow Spider: [singing] And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring. Maggot: [singing] And she doesn't play piano, Maggot, Black Widow Spider: [singing] Or dance, or sing. No she doesn't compare! The Corpse Bride: But she still breaths air... Maggot, Black Widow Spider: Who cares? Maggot: Unimportant! Maggot, Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know. The Corpse Bride: [singing] If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife, it's still the same. And I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead; yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real, and it seems that I still have a tear to shed. Maggot: [singing] The sole redeeming feature from that little creature is that she's alive. Black Widow Spider: Overrated! Maggot: Overblown! Black Widow Spider: [singing] Everybody knows that's just a temporary state, which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate. Maggot: Who cares? Black Widow Spider: Unimportant! Maggot, Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know. The Corpse Bride: If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. In the ice or in the sun, it's all the same. Yet I feel my heart is aching; thou it doesn't beat, it's breaking; and the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real. I know that I am dead; yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed.
The Corpse Bride: Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any.
Victor Van Dort: I've got a... I've got a dwarf, and I'm not afraid to use him!
The Corpse Bride: We need to go up. Upstairs? To visit the land of the living. Elder Gutknecht: Land of the living? Oh, my dear. The Corpse Bride: Please, Elder Gutknecht. Elder Gutknecht: Now, why go up there when people are dying to get down here? Victor Van Dort: Sir, I beg you to help. It means so much to me... us. Elder Gutknecht: I don't know. It's just not natural. The Corpse Bride: Please, Elder Gutknecht. Surely there must be something you can do. Elder Gutknecht: Let me see what I can do.
Victor: With this candle... I will set your mother on fire.
Solemn Village Boy: [the little boy walks away from his frightened family and toward one of the skeletons] Grandpa?
Victoria Everglot: Hildegard, what if Victor and I don't like each other? Maudeline Everglot: Hmpf! As if that has anything to do with marriage. Do you suppose your father and I "like" each other? Victoria Everglot: Surely you must, a little. Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Of course not!
Victor Van Dort: [trying to practice his vows] With this hand, I will cup your... [unconsciously holds hands before his chest in a suggestive manner, and is then horrified] Victor Van Dort: Oh goodness, no!
The Corpse Bride: [about Victor's dead dog, Scraps] What a cutie. Victor Van Dort: You should have seen him with fur.
The Corpse Bride: I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.
Victor Van Dort: I want some questions! Now! General Bonesapart: Answers... I think you mean answers. Victor Van Dort: Thank you, yes, answers. I need answers.
Black Widow Spider: Married, huh? I'm a widow. [Victor runs away] Black Widow Spider: Oh, how rude! He went that way!
Emil: Lord and Lady Everglot, Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort. William Van Dort: [to Maudeline] Why... you must be Miss Victoria. Yes, I must say you don't look a day over twenty. No. Oh, yes.
Victor Van Dort: We're moving this wedding party upstairs. Dead Woman: Upstairs? I didn't know we had an upstairs. Skeleton boy: Sounds creepy! Skeleton Girl: Let's go!
Victor Van Dort: Tomorrow, Victoria, we are to be... [struggles to say "married"] Victor Van Dort: Mmmm... mmmm... mmmm... Victoria Everglot: [small giggle] ... married. Victor Van Dort: Yes, married.
Town Crier: In other news... THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!
Pastor Galswells: [holding the dead off] Begone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came! You shall not enter here! Back... back... back. Skeleton: Keep it down, we're in a church!
Maudeline Everglot: [to Victoria] Get those corsets laced properly! I can hear you speak without gasping.
[Bonejangles creeps up behind Finnis; his eye falls into Finnis' bowl] Finnis Everglot: There's an eye in me soup.
Maggot: Let me at him! Let me at him! Don't hold me back! Elder Gutknecht: [holding crowd back] Wait! We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living. Barkis Bittern: Well said. [drinks potion] Maggot: [after Lord Barkis drinks potion] Not anymore! Elder Gutknecht: Yep. You're right. He's all yours.
The Corpse Bride: Darling... where are you going? Victor Van Dort: *Home*!
Barkis Bittern: Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us? Town Crier: [shouting so loud that the teacups rattle] HEAR YE, HEAR YE! VICTOR VAN DORT SEEN THIS NIGHT ON THE BRIDGE IN THE ARMS OF A MYSTERY WOMAN! THE DARK-HAIRED TEMPTRESS AND MASTER VAN DORT SLIPPED AWAY INTOT HE NIGHT! [lowers voice] Town Crier: And now the weather. Scattered showers... Barkis Bittern: Enough! That will be all.
[last lines] Victor Van Dort: Wait. I made a promise. The Corpse Bride: You kept your promise. You set me free. Now I can do the same for you.
The Corpse Bride: [after chasing Victor through the forest] You may kiss the bride.
Finnis Everglot: [as corpses run amuck] If my grandfather Everglot could see this, he'd be turning in his grave. Grandfather Everglot: Finis. [next to a portrait of himself in life] Grandfather Everglot: Where do you keep the spirits? [shakes wine glass] Finnis Everglot, Maudeline: AAAAAAAHHHH!
The Corpse Bride: [about Victor] He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband.
Elder Gutknecht: Just remember, when you want to come back, say "Hopscotch." The Corpse Bride: Hopscotch? Elder Gutknecht: That's it.
The Corpse Bride: Maybe perhaps he does belong with her. [sarcastic tone] The Corpse Bride: Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.
The Corpse Bride: [angrily, grabbing Victor] Hopscotch! Victor Van Dort: No, no! Victoria!
Skeleton: [drunk] Women. Ya can't live with 'em, ya can't live without 'em. [Falls to the floor and breaks into many pieces]
Victor Van Dort: I want very much to. Pastor Galswells: Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring? Victor Van Dort: The ring. Yes, of course. [Victor drops the ring] Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring. This boy doesn't want to get married. Maudeline Everglot: How disgraceful! Victor Van Dort: Excuse me. Got it!
Maggot: [after Emily loses her leg and falls down] Psst, hey, I think you dropped something.
The Corpse Bride: It's my eye, isn't it? [pops loose eye into skull] Victor Van Dort: No! Your eye is uh, lovely.
The Corpse Bride: I do.
Bonejangles: [chasing a large woman] Hey, come back! Ooh, I love me a lady with meat on her bones!
The Corpse Bride: Scraps... Elder Gutknecht... Are you there? Hello? Is anyone home? Hello? There you are! Elder Gutknecht: Oh, my dear. There you are. The Corpse Bride: I've brought my husband, Victor. Elder Gutknecht: What's that? Husband? Victor Van Dort: Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Maudeline Everglot: Fish merchants!
Victor: Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you and I would like to help. But I really need to get home. The Corpse Bride: This is your home now.
Maudeline Everglot: Ah, Lord Barkin. I trust the room is to your liking. Barkis Bittern: Thank you. You are a most gracious hostess, which is what pains me to be the bearer of such bad news.
Pastor Galswells: [to Victor] Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?
Victor Van Dort: Do forgive me. Victoria Everglot: You play beautifully. Victor Van Dort: I-I-I do apologise, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well... Excuse me. Victoria Everglot: Mother won't let me near the piano. Music is improper for a young lady. "Too passionate", she says. Victor Van Dort: If I may ask, Miss Everglot... where is your chaperone? Victoria Everglot: Perhaps, in... in view of the circumstances... you could call me Victoria. Victor Van Dort: Yes, of course. Well... Victoria... Victoria Everglot: Yes, Victor...
Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat; you'd think a lifetime watching us [singing] Maudeline Everglot: might have taught her that, might have taught her that. Finnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect. Maudeline Everglot: Everything must be perfect. Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect, perfect! Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot, Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: That's why everything/every last everything/every single tiny microscopic little thing must go... According to plan!
The Corpse Bride: ...I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason... for taking so long... Maggot: Oh, I am sure he does. Why don't you go ask him? The Corpse Bride: All right, I will! Maggot: After all, he couldn't get far - with those cold feet...
The Corpse Bride: [to Victor] In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly Victor Van Dort: [to himself] I did! [starts hitting his head on the bar] Victor Van Dort: Wake up wake up WAKE UP.
Maggot: You don't know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.
Barkis Bittern: [to the Everglotts and Van Dorts] Do call for me if you need my assistance... Barkis Bittern: [glances at Victoria] in *any way*.
Victor Van Dort: Please, there's been a mistake. I'm not dead.
Barkis Bittern: [disrupting the wedding] Oh, how touching. I always cry at weddings. Finally, our two young lovers are together at last. Surely now they can live happily ever after? But you forget... Barkis Bittern: [snatches Victoria] She's still my wife! And I'm not leaving here empty-handed!
Black Widow Spider: [speaking to Emily regarding Victoria] Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - you've got a wonderful personality!
Paul The Head Waiter: Coming through, coming through. My name is Paul, the head waiter. I will be creating your wedding feast. Maggot: [popping out the Corpse Bride's eye] Wedding feast, I'm salivating. The Corpse Bride: [pushing the maggot back into her eye] Maggots. [laughs]
Finnis Everglot: Marvelous news. There will be a wedding after all.
Elder Gutknecht: [officiating over the wedding ceremony of Victor and Emily] Dearly beloved... and departed...
Nell Van Dort: Oh, I'm sure he'll be back shortly. He's terrified of the dark. In fact, when he was a boy, he used to wet his combinations, regularly, didn't he, William?
Pastor Galswells: Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! Young man, learn your vows!
Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring! Maudeline Everglot: Oh, no, he's dropped the ring! Pastor Galswells: This boy doesn't *want* to get married!
Nell Van Dort: [dreamily] I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.
General Bonesapart: This is going to be good.
Pastor Galswells: Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again. "With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine". Let's try it again. Victor Van Dort: Yes, yes, Sir.
Barkis Bittern: [looking at a portrait of Victoria] Oh, my dear. Don't look at me that way. You have only to suffer this union untill death do us part. And that will come sooner than you think...
Victor: [to the corpse of Scraps] Play dead... Oh, sorry.
Elder Gutknecht: Where did I put that book? I left it here somewhere. There's the one. I have it. A Ukranian haunting spell. Just the thing for these quick trips. The Corpse Bride: So glad you thought of this. Victor Van Dort: Me too. Elder Gutknecht: Now, then... Where were we? The Corpse Bride: The Ukranian haunting spell Elder Gutknecht: Ahh... Here we have it. Ready?
William Van Dort: You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor. Nell Van Dort: Now, all you have to do is reel her in. Victor Van Dort: I'm already reeling, Mother. Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something? Nell Van Dort: Oh, nonsense. We're every bit of good as the Everglots. I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life. Victor Van Dort: But I've never even spoken to her. Nell Van Dort: Well, at least we have that in our favor. [Mayhew coughs] Nell Van Dort: Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing!
Victor Van Dort: But I don't even know your name. Maggot: [from inside the Corpse Bride's head] Well, that's a great way to start a marriage. The Corpse Bride: [grasps head and hisses] Sshh! Shut up! [smiles at Victor] The Corpse Bride: It's Emily.
Maggot: If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you'd lost your mind!
Mrs. Plum: [Goes over to dead Mayhew] Coming through! Coming through! [Shakes his hand] Mrs. Plum: My name's Plum. *Miss* Plum Mrs. Plum: Ohhh!
Nell Van Dort: [to Victor] Look at the way your standing, You look like you've got rickets or something.
Maudeline Everglot: [to Finnis] Smile, darling, smile. Finnis Everglot: Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home. Nell Van Dort: Oh, thank you. Maudeline Everglot: We'll be taking tea in the west drawing room. Oh, do come this way. It's just through there.
[first lines] Town Crier: Hear ye, hear ye, ten minutes to go 'til Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.
The Corpse Bride: [to Maggot] Go chew on someone else's ear a while.
Finnis Everglot: [to Victor, who wants to put out the fire on Mrs. Everglot's dress] Out of the way, you ninny!
Maudeline Everglot: Victoria, come away from the window.
Nell Van Dort: [about Victor] Mystery woman? He doesn't even know any women. Barkis Bittern: So you thought.
Maudeline Everglot: Good heavens, Finis, what should we do? Finnis Everglot: Fetch me musket!
Mayhew: [about Victoria's marriage to Lord Barkis] I guess they didn't want to waste the cake!
Victor Van Dort: What's going on here? Where am I? Who are you? The Corpse Bride: Well, that's kind of a long story. Bonejangles: What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion and murder most foul.
[Victor has snuck away from the Corpse Bride to find Victoria and listens to the arguing Everglots] Finnis Everglot: If ever I see that Van Dort boy, I'll strangle him with my bare hands! Maudeline Everglot: Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You'll have to use a rope.
Victor Van Dort: Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never approved of anything.
The Corpse Bride: [after her hand escapes her arm and dances up Victor's arm] Pardon my enthusiasm. Victor Van Dort: [snapping her hand into place] I like your enthusiasm.
Mrs. Plum: New arrival!
Nell Van Dort: Blimey, it's my dress is caught. Mayhew: Begging your pardon, ma'am. William Van Dort: Come on, dear. Nell Van Dort: It's not me. It's my dress that's caught. Where is Victor? We might be late.
Maudeline Everglot: Finis, come to bed at once.
Victoria Everglot: Since I was a child, I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it? Victor Van Dort: Yes, silly. No. No, not at all, no. Victoria Everglot: [knocks over a vase] Victor Van Dort: Oh, oh, dear. I'm sorry.
The Corpse Bride: And I thought... I thought this was all going so well.
Maudeline Everglot: Oh, Finis. Who invited these people? They must be from your side of the family.
Victor Van Dort: Ah, Mrs. Everglot. You look ravishing this evening. What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "dad"? If you insist, sir.
Bonejangles: I love a woman with meat on her bones!
Victor Van Dort: Emily. The Corpse Bride: Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you. It's a wedding present. Victor Van Dort: [opens the box and finds a bone] Haah. Thank you. [Victor's present turns out to be his dead dog Scraps, who is now a dog skeleton] Victor Van Dort: Scraps? Scraps. It's my dog, Scraps. Oh, Scraps. What a good boy? The Corpse Bride: I knew you'd be happy to see him. Victor Van Dort: Who's my good boy. Sit! Sit, Scraps. Good boy, Scraps. Roll over, roll over.
Maudeline Everglot: What impropriety is this? You shouldn't be *alone* together! Here it is, one minute before five, and you're not at the rehearsal. Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.
Nell Van Dort: Oh, it's almost dawn! Where could he be? Town Crier: Victor Van Dort elopes with corpse! Heartbroken bride to wed wealthy newcomer! Nell Van Dort: Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be. William Van Dort: Did he say corpse? Nell Van Dort: Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor? [Mayhew coughs] Nell Van Dort: Oh, Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing! Mayhew, are you trying to kill us? I think he's trying to kill us!
Maudeline Everglot: [singing] It's a terrible day. Finnis Everglot: Now, don't be that way. Maudeline Everglot: It's a terrible day for a wedding. Finnis Everglot: It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in. Maudeline Everglot: That has led to this ominous wedding. Finnis Everglot: How could our family have come to this? Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riches? Maudeline Everglot: They're so common. Finnis Everglot: So coarse. Maudeline Everglot: Oh it couldn't be worse! Finnis Everglot: Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree. They could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy without a penny to their name. Just like you and me. Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Oh, dear! Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go... Maudeline Everglot: According to plan! Finnis Everglot: Our daughter will wed. Maudeline Everglot: According to plan! Finnis Everglot: And our family led... Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: From the depths of deepest poverty... Maudeline Everglot: To the noble realm... Finnis Everglot: Of our ancestry. Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: And who would've guessed in a million years, that our daughter with the face... Finnis Everglot: Of an otter in disgrace... Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Would provide our tickets to our rightful place?
The Corpse Bride: [meeting Victoria] Darling, I just wanted to meet... Darling, who's this? Victoria Everglot: Who is she? The Corpse Bride: I'm his wife. Victoria Everglot: Victor? Victor Van Dort: Victoria, wait. You don't understand. She's dead. Look!
Maudeline Everglot: Take her to her room! Victoria Everglot: No, I'm telling the truth. Victor needs my help.
Victoria Everglot: Did things not go according to your plan, Lord Barkis? Well, perhaps in disappointment, we are perfectly matched.
Nell Van Dort: [singing] It's a beautiful day! William Van Dort: [singing] It's a rather nice day. Nell Van Dort: [singing] A day for a glorious wedding! William Van Dort: A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear. Nell Van Dort: A rehearsal for a glorious wedding! William Van Dort: Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know. Nell Van Dort: That nothing unexpected interferes with the show. Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go... Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan! William Van Dort: Our son will be married! Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan! William Van Dort: And our family carried, Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] Elevated to the heights of society! Nell Van Dort: To the costumed balls! William Van Dort: In the hallowed halls! Nell Van Dort: Rubbing elbows with the finest! William Van Dort: And having crumpets with Her Highness! Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] We'll be there! We'll be seen! Having tea with the queen! We'll forget everything... that we've ever ever been!
Pastor Galswells: [holding a squirming Victoria] She is speaking in tongues, of unholy alliances! Her mind has come undone, I fear! Victoria Everglot: It's not true! Let me go! Let me go!
Pastor Galswells: Miss Everglot, what are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief.
Victoria Everglot: Can the living marry the dead? Pastor Galswells: What on Earth are you speaking about? Victoria Everglot: Please, it's Victor. He's married to a corpse. He has a corpse bride. There must be some way to undo what's been done. Pastor Galswells: I believe I know the thing to do. Come with me.