A jewel thief's daughter is kidnapped after he steals a collection of prized black diamonds, which aren't at all what they seem.

Fait: What's your name anyway?
Su: I am Su.
Fait: Yeah, and I'm Sally.
Fait: How many times do I have to tell you people! I'm a businessman, make me an offer!
Ling's Hitman: [cocks his gun] Here's your offer.
Fait: What are you, some kind of kung fu James Bond?
Fight Announcer: Put me down now, or I'll kick your ass, Bruce!
Su: I'm *not* Bruce.
[throws the short man through the air]
Tommy: [sitting in a tank] Freeze Mothafuckaaas!
Fait: You read Chinese?
Archie: No, but I know "cop" in every language.