Crank Quotes
Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.
Doc Miles: [Chev is running on the street, high on epinephrine and talking to Doc on a cellphone] Chevy?
Chev Chelios: Yep.
Doc Miles: Hey, we're in the air man. Did you get the stuff I told you to get?
Chev Chelios: Got it!
Doc Miles: Did you take it?
Chev Chelios: Took it.
Doc Miles: You took the whole goddamned thing, didn't you?
Chev Chelios: Yep.
Doc Miles: I said a fifth of a syringe. That shit's gonna kill you.
Chev Chelios: Right.
Doc Miles: Is your chest on fire?
Chev Chelios: Check.
Doc Miles: But you're cold?
Chev Chelios: Check.
Doc Miles: And you've got a steel hard-on, don't you?
Chev Chelios: Well let me check. Check!
Doc Miles: Well, that's the stimulation of your blood vessels. Your urinary sphincter's tight as a knot right now. You couldn't piss to save your life.
Chev Chelios: Urinary sphincter? Check!
Chev Chelios: Yep.
Doc Miles: Hey, we're in the air man. Did you get the stuff I told you to get?
Chev Chelios: Got it!
Doc Miles: Did you take it?
Chev Chelios: Took it.
Doc Miles: You took the whole goddamned thing, didn't you?
Chev Chelios: Yep.
Doc Miles: I said a fifth of a syringe. That shit's gonna kill you.
Chev Chelios: Right.
Doc Miles: Is your chest on fire?
Chev Chelios: Check.
Doc Miles: But you're cold?
Chev Chelios: Check.
Doc Miles: And you've got a steel hard-on, don't you?
Chev Chelios: Well let me check. Check!
Doc Miles: Well, that's the stimulation of your blood vessels. Your urinary sphincter's tight as a knot right now. You couldn't piss to save your life.
Chev Chelios: Urinary sphincter? Check!
Chev Chelios: What is this stuff?
Doc Miles: Synthetic ephedrine diluted with some saline.
Chev Chelios: Feels sort of good.
Doc Miles: Yeah well. I got a little Meth in there too, so that's the endorphins you feel running to your brain.
Chev Chelios: Wait a minute so I'm not better?
Doc Miles: Fuck no you're not better. You're in such shit shape it's stunning. I can't belive your hearts still beating. Shit should be in a fucking medical journal.
Doc Miles: Synthetic ephedrine diluted with some saline.
Chev Chelios: Feels sort of good.
Doc Miles: Yeah well. I got a little Meth in there too, so that's the endorphins you feel running to your brain.
Chev Chelios: Wait a minute so I'm not better?
Doc Miles: Fuck no you're not better. You're in such shit shape it's stunning. I can't belive your hearts still beating. Shit should be in a fucking medical journal.
Chev Chelios: [aims his finger like a gun at Carlito's head] Not so fast, motherfucker.
Verona: [laughs] He's gone dipsy-doodle, yo.
[moves his finger at Verona]
Verona: Yeah, whatever, psycho.
Carlito: I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend.
Chev Chelios: Boosh.
[shoots Carlito's bodyguard in the head]
Verona: Our Father, who art in heaven...
Carlito: Shut up, Verona!
Don Kim: [from behind Chev] So this is how it is?
Carlito: It's Don Kim! You're supposed to be dead!
Chev Chelios: Presto.
Verona: [laughs] He's gone dipsy-doodle, yo.
[moves his finger at Verona]
Verona: Yeah, whatever, psycho.
Carlito: I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend.
Chev Chelios: Boosh.
[shoots Carlito's bodyguard in the head]
Verona: Our Father, who art in heaven...
Carlito: Shut up, Verona!
Don Kim: [from behind Chev] So this is how it is?
Carlito: It's Don Kim! You're supposed to be dead!
Chev Chelios: Presto.
Verona: What's up, corpse?
Chev Chelios: Bonjour, douchebag. I thought you might be interested in a little deal.
Verona: Are you a dealer? Is that what you are now?
Chev Chelios: Don't worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
Verona: Oh... Oh, the antidote?
Chev Chelios: That's right, the antidote.
Verona: What are you prepared to give me, asshole?
Chev Chelios: How about the jewelry I got off that faggot brother of yours, you fucking cocksucker?
Verona: Hmm.
Chev Chelios: Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Verona: All right.
Chev Chelios: Oh, you like that deal don't you?
Verona: Yeah, whatever.
Chev Chelios: Well. I'll be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
Verona: Yeah I know it.
Chev Chelios: Well don't be late or I'll trade this thing in to some whore for a fuckin' hand-job.
Verona: Look, I said I'll fuckin' be...
[throwing punches everywhere and yelling]
Verona: I'll fuckin' be there!
Chev Chelios: See you later sunshine.
Chev Chelios: Bonjour, douchebag. I thought you might be interested in a little deal.
Verona: Are you a dealer? Is that what you are now?
Chev Chelios: Don't worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
Verona: Oh... Oh, the antidote?
Chev Chelios: That's right, the antidote.
Verona: What are you prepared to give me, asshole?
Chev Chelios: How about the jewelry I got off that faggot brother of yours, you fucking cocksucker?
Verona: Hmm.
Chev Chelios: Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Verona: All right.
Chev Chelios: Oh, you like that deal don't you?
Verona: Yeah, whatever.
Chev Chelios: Well. I'll be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
Verona: Yeah I know it.
Chev Chelios: Well don't be late or I'll trade this thing in to some whore for a fuckin' hand-job.
Verona: Look, I said I'll fuckin' be...
[throwing punches everywhere and yelling]
Verona: I'll fuckin' be there!
Chev Chelios: See you later sunshine.
Arab Cabbie: You're not getting into my cab wet.
Chev Chelios: I gave you 200 dollars to wait for 3 minutes.
Arab Cabbie: You're not getting into my car, no way!
[Chev pulls cabbie out of the car and tosses him into the road pointing at him, yelling]
Chev Chelios: Al Qaeda, Al Qaeda!
Arab Cabbie: I love America! I love Bush!
[the local citizens attack the cabbie]
Chev Chelios: I gave you 200 dollars to wait for 3 minutes.
Arab Cabbie: You're not getting into my car, no way!
[Chev pulls cabbie out of the car and tosses him into the road pointing at him, yelling]
Chev Chelios: Al Qaeda, Al Qaeda!
Arab Cabbie: I love America! I love Bush!
[the local citizens attack the cabbie]
Haitian Cabbie: Hey man. What's the matter with you? You a crackhead?
Chev Chelios: Right... just step on it, alright?
Haitian Cabbie: Hey, you not gonna die in my cab, crackhead.
[the HAITIAN CABBIE opens up his glove compartment and takes something out. CHEV'S eyes widen. A gun?]
Haitian Cabbie: I got something for you.
[as the CABBIE turns around CHEV experiences a FLASH HALLUCINATION: The CABBIE'S face is painted like a PSYCHEDELIC VOODOO SKULL in GLOWING BLACK LIGHT PAINT. He is grinning crazily. CHEV flinches in horror, but just like that the CABBIE is back to normal. He hands CHEV a vial of liquid]
Haitian Cabbie: You drink this Haitian shit, crackhead. This right here is some hardcore shit. Made from plant shit.
Chev Chelios: [laughing] Nice.
Chev Chelios: Right... just step on it, alright?
Haitian Cabbie: Hey, you not gonna die in my cab, crackhead.
[the HAITIAN CABBIE opens up his glove compartment and takes something out. CHEV'S eyes widen. A gun?]
Haitian Cabbie: I got something for you.
[as the CABBIE turns around CHEV experiences a FLASH HALLUCINATION: The CABBIE'S face is painted like a PSYCHEDELIC VOODOO SKULL in GLOWING BLACK LIGHT PAINT. He is grinning crazily. CHEV flinches in horror, but just like that the CABBIE is back to normal. He hands CHEV a vial of liquid]
Haitian Cabbie: You drink this Haitian shit, crackhead. This right here is some hardcore shit. Made from plant shit.
Chev Chelios: [laughing] Nice.
Orlando: Hey dude, what's the matter with you?
Chev Chelios: Look, just give me some coke. You got any coke?
Orlando: Okay, now you're just gonna come up here and insult me...
Chev Chelios: Come on, I don't have time. Just give me something, I'm really dying here.
Orlando: I can see that.
Chev Chelios: You don't understand, I'm really fucking dying.
Orlando: You saying this is medicinal use coke, is that what you're saying?
Chev Chelios: That's right.
Orlando: Well...
Chev Chelios: What?
Orlando: This shit ain't free nigga.
Chev Chelios: Look, just give me some coke. You got any coke?
Orlando: Okay, now you're just gonna come up here and insult me...
Chev Chelios: Come on, I don't have time. Just give me something, I'm really dying here.
Orlando: I can see that.
Chev Chelios: You don't understand, I'm really fucking dying.
Orlando: You saying this is medicinal use coke, is that what you're saying?
Chev Chelios: That's right.
Orlando: Well...
Chev Chelios: What?
Orlando: This shit ain't free nigga.
