Crocodile Dundee Quotes
An American reporter goes to the Australian outback to meet an eccentric crocodile poacher and invites him to New York City.
Teenage Mugger: [Dundee and Sue are approached by a black youth stepping out from the shadows, followed by some others] You got a light, buddy?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, sure kid.
[reaches for lighter]
Teenage Mugger: [flicks open switchblade] And your wallet!
Sue Charlton: [guardedly] Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [amused] What for?
Sue Charlton: [cautiously] He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckles] That's not a knife.
[he pulls out a large bowie knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: THAT's a knife.
[Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket and maintains eyeball to eyeball stare]
Teenage Mugger: Shit!
[he and his friends run off]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [to Sue] Just kids having fun. You all right?
Sue Charlton: [relieved] I'm always all right when I'm with you, Dundee.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, sure kid.
[reaches for lighter]
Teenage Mugger: [flicks open switchblade] And your wallet!
Sue Charlton: [guardedly] Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [amused] What for?
Sue Charlton: [cautiously] He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckles] That's not a knife.
[he pulls out a large bowie knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: THAT's a knife.
[Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket and maintains eyeball to eyeball stare]
Teenage Mugger: Shit!
[he and his friends run off]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [to Sue] Just kids having fun. You all right?
Sue Charlton: [relieved] I'm always all right when I'm with you, Dundee.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land.They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.
Sue Charlton: That croc was going to eat me alive.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Well, I wouldn't hold that against him. Same thought crossed my mind once or twice.
Sue Charlton: [smiling in slightly bashful amusement, while still allowing herself a little quiet satisfaction from Mick's compliment that she looks "delectable enough to eat"] Good night, Mick.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Well, I wouldn't hold that against him. Same thought crossed my mind once or twice.
Sue Charlton: [smiling in slightly bashful amusement, while still allowing herself a little quiet satisfaction from Mick's compliment that she looks "delectable enough to eat"] Good night, Mick.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: I was sorta married once - - nice girl, good cook, biiig chest. Then I went walkabout, and when I came back, she'd gone.
Sue Charlton: How long were you gone?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Couple of months.
Walter Reilly: Try eighteen.
Sue Charlton: And she didn't wait? Humph - strange girl!
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah!
Sue Charlton: How long were you gone?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Couple of months.
Walter Reilly: Try eighteen.
Sue Charlton: And she didn't wait? Humph - strange girl!
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah!
Sue Charlton: People go to a psychiatrist to talk about their problems. She just needed to unload them. You know, bring them out in the open.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Hasn't she got any mates?
Sue Charlton: You're right. I guess we could all use more mates. I suppose you don't have any shrinks at Walkabout Creek.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Nah - - back there, if you got a problem, you tell Wally. And he tells everyone in town... brings it out in the open... no more problem.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Hasn't she got any mates?
Sue Charlton: You're right. I guess we could all use more mates. I suppose you don't have any shrinks at Walkabout Creek.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Nah - - back there, if you got a problem, you tell Wally. And he tells everyone in town... brings it out in the open... no more problem.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Of course it took me a week to crawl this far. I thought I was a goner. I said to meself, "Mick old son, find yourself a nice comfortable spot and lay down and die".
Sue Charlton: Weren't you afraid?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Of dying? Nah. I read The Bible once. You know God and Jesus and all them apostles? They were all fishermen, just like me. Yeah, straight to heaven for Mick Dundee. Yep, me and God, we'd be mates.
[they continue along the way followed by Mick after he had been attacked and injured by a crocodile]
Sue Charlton: Weren't you afraid?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Of dying? Nah. I read The Bible once. You know God and Jesus and all them apostles? They were all fishermen, just like me. Yeah, straight to heaven for Mick Dundee. Yep, me and God, we'd be mates.
[they continue along the way followed by Mick after he had been attacked and injured by a crocodile]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [a goanna is sizzling over a fire. Sue looks ill] How do you like your goanna? Medium? Well done?
Sue Charlton: You don't really expect me to eat that?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, its great. Yeah, try some of these yams, try the grubs and the sugar ants. Just bite the end off, they're really sweet. Black fellas love 'em.
Sue Charlton: [tentatively tries a large beetle] What about you, aren't you having any?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Me?
[Mick starts working on a tin with his knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: ...Well, you can live on it, but it taste like shit.
Sue Charlton: You don't really expect me to eat that?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, its great. Yeah, try some of these yams, try the grubs and the sugar ants. Just bite the end off, they're really sweet. Black fellas love 'em.
Sue Charlton: [tentatively tries a large beetle] What about you, aren't you having any?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Me?
[Mick starts working on a tin with his knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: ...Well, you can live on it, but it taste like shit.
Sue Charlton: [helping Mick get settled in to his NYC apartment] There's a TV over there if you get bored.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Oh, yeah - - I remember television from way back. I saw it at a buddy's house one time.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [turns on the set and sees an "oldies re-run" of an "I Love Lucy" show pop up on the screen] Yup - - that's what I saw that time.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Oh, yeah - - I remember television from way back. I saw it at a buddy's house one time.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [turns on the set and sees an "oldies re-run" of an "I Love Lucy" show pop up on the screen] Yup - - that's what I saw that time.
Sue Charlton: [Sue and Mick are dancing] Legend has it a crocodile took half your leg off.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: ...
[Mick rolls up his trousers]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: More like a love bite really. Here ya are, enough about me leg. Let me tell you about the rest of me. "Up North in the Never-Never, where the land is harsh and bare, lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee
[points to himself]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: who can dance like Fred Astaire".
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: ...
[Mick rolls up his trousers]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: More like a love bite really. Here ya are, enough about me leg. Let me tell you about the rest of me. "Up North in the Never-Never, where the land is harsh and bare, lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee
[points to himself]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: who can dance like Fred Astaire".
Walter Reilly: [looking at the New York Newsday newspaper photo of the two of them that Sue had sent him, and speaking on the Walkabout Pub phone with Mick in New York] Got the photo, Mick - - I look GREAT! Ida sends love. Oh - - Donk wants to say a word to you.
Donk: [sarcastically referring to Mick's previously saying that he was "stuffed" just like his "pet" crocodile] Mick - - get **stuffed**!
Donk: [sarcastically referring to Mick's previously saying that he was "stuffed" just like his "pet" crocodile] Mick - - get **stuffed**!
Walter Reilly: [after the fight with the croc in the bar, Mick joins Sue and Wally] Sorry if that frightened you, miss. Uh, you see, it's **stuffed**.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [Mick indicates "Cyril"] Him an' me both, Wal.
[notices the cute and "proper" Sue for the first time, and shyly smiles and tips his hat]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Michael J "Crocodile" Dundee.
Sue Charlton: [Sue shakes his hand] Never-Never Safaris.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, er, "never" go out with us... If you do, you'll "never" come back. Right, Wal?
Walter Reilly: [giggles and nods]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [Mick indicates "Cyril"] Him an' me both, Wal.
[notices the cute and "proper" Sue for the first time, and shyly smiles and tips his hat]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Michael J "Crocodile" Dundee.
Sue Charlton: [Sue shakes his hand] Never-Never Safaris.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, er, "never" go out with us... If you do, you'll "never" come back. Right, Wal?
Walter Reilly: [giggles and nods]
