Dave Attell — American Comedian born on January 18, 1965,

Dave Attell is an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York and now lives in New York City... (wikipedia)

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

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