The adventures of incoming high school and junior high students on the last day of school, in May of 1976.

Wooderson: All right, all right, all right.
Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch: No, not on me, man.
Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.
Wooderson: Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.
Ms. Ginny Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.
Pink: All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.
Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want?
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.
Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
Pink: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.
Darla: What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.
Slater: Imagine how many people out there are fuckin' right now man, just goin' at it.
Cynthia: I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.
Wooderson: I love those redheads!
Cynthia: Maybe the 80s will be like radical or something. I figure we'll be in our 20s and it cant' get worse.
Mike: Don't air raid for that bitch, I hate that shit. It's like that Clint fucker in front of all his friends. Huh? Huh mother fucker.
Tony: Okay Mike.
Mike: Dominant male monkey mother fucker.
O'Bannion: You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.
Clint: I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer.
[glances over his shoulder]
Clint: Looks like we're almost outta beer.
Slater: Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.
O'Bannion: Hey Slater, you fuckin' hippie, give me drugs, man.
Slater: Go get some from your mother, man.
O'Bannion: We just bagged your mother.
Slater: Okay, fuck you dickhead.
O'Bannion: What are you looking at? Huh? I'll kick your fucking ass, right now! What are you smiling at? Freshman faggot!
[shoves Mitch]
O'Bannion: Fuck all of you! Fuck you!
Wooderson: Yeah, well, listen. You ought to ditch the two geeks you're in the car with now and get in with us. But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. I will see you there. All right?
Slater: George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.
Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Have you been drinking?
Mitch: No
[falls on bed and can't even take off both boots]
Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Are you drunk?
Mitch: [clearly drunk] Psshh
Shavonne Wright: You're an asshole.
Dawson: I know I am.
[repeated line]
Slater: Shotgun!
Simone: You act like you're so oppressed. You guys are kings of the school. What are you bitching about?
Dawson: Not bad for a little freshman but you gotta watch out for older girls
Melvin Spivey: Hey. Come here. We just wanna know something. You gonna be fucking that tonight, or are you gonna be a little wimp?
Mitch: [laughs] How do you know I haven't already
Melvin Spivey: [clearly pleased, laughs] Go along man, I think its past your bedtime!
Pink: Marijuana on one. Reefer on two.
Tony: So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
Mike: I wanna dance!
Slater: I'm letting you have shotgun. But cuz it's cuz only 'cuz I'm goin' inside.
Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
Mitch: Four.
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.
Tony: Nothing like piling on old pancakes and syrup after a night of beer drinking.
Benny O'Donnell: Mitchy. Mitchy, mitchy, mitchy...
[all the guys laugh]
Benny O'Donnell: We're lookin' for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over!
Tony: [Wooderson has just driven off after hitting on Cynthia] God, that was so creepy!
Mike: Wait, why are you smiling?
Cynthia: [shrugs] I thought he was cute.
Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting!
Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?
O'Bannion: This first lick I'd like to dedicate to your mother... fuck her.
Pink: It was vicious. Had some pretty cool seniors though. Like, they'd beat the hell out of you and then get you drunk, that sort of thing.
Mitch: Cool.
Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
John Hirschfelder: I was getting there! I had my hand under her shirt!
Tommy Houston: Hear that, he was 'getting there'. Son, you wouldn't even know what to do if you got there.
Jodi: Is that a beer in your hand?
Mitch: Why, yes it is.
Jodi: Have you had more than one of those?
Mitch: Few. No one's counting.
Jodi: When were you supposed to be home?
Mitch: Few hours ago I think.
Jodi: Thats bullshit. That's major bullshit. You know I was barely let out at your age?
Mitch: Aww.
Jodi: Aww. Well don't think she won't be waiting up for you. And she is tough. I've been through it.
Mitch: Just don't ask her to take it easy on me.
Pickford: Don, give the beer back, man!
Don: I paid for the beer, man.
Clint: What did you just say?
Mike: What?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?
Tony: So your earlier offer still stands?
Sabrina Davis: What should I say? Whatever you like.
Mitch: Man I hate that guy, he's a jerk. He is a jerk, right?
Pink: Yeah. He's kind of a joke.
Darla: Lick me, all of you.
Wooderson: Aerosmith, 2 weeks. Don't forget.
[slaps her ass]
Cynthia: I won't.
Pickford: Walkin' down the hall, by myself, smokin' a jay with fifty elves.
Mike: I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.
Pink: Wait a minute. Who put the keg all the way out here in the woods?
Jodi: I dunno. This is where they said it would be
Pink: Really?
Jodi: Really? We don't need the beer anyway.
Jodi, Pink: [start making out]
Michelle Burroughs: Watch them fly... away
Pickford: Hey you guys know what that song is about? Its about the aliens. We're the aliens man, we're the savages. We're the savages man.
Jodi: Heard they got you pretty bad.
Mitch: Yeah.
Jodi: They just got Hersh too
Mitch: Was it bad?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah.
Mitch: Was it O'Bannion?
Sabrina Davis: I think so
Mitch: Man I hate that jerk!
Sabrina Davis: Hey I didn't know Jodi was you're big sister
Mitch: Oh, yeah
Jodi: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
Mitch: What? Well no wonder!
Assistant Coach: Hey ladies, are you gonna be ready to play football this fall? huh?
Benny O'Donnell: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?
Assistant Coach: Boy, you woudln't know how to spell your own name if it wasn't stencilled on your locker.
Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.
Carl Burnett: We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.
Mitch: [after seniors threaten him] Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Men!
[the boys jump]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.
Michelle Burroughs: [singing] Watch them fly...
Slater: [stoned] Hey you know that song is about the aliens?
Darla: We know you they talk about us, what do they say?
Shavonne Wright: No they don't
Darla: You're lying you bitch. When you do that I know you're lying
Simone: Come on you can tell us.
Shavonne Wright: Don't get mad
Simone: I'm not gonna get mad I'm just curious
Shavonne Wright: Ok she called you a bitch and you a slut
Darla: She called me a bitch! Thats funny! What a riot
Simone: She called me a slut? Ohmygod what a bitch
Shavonne Wright: Yeah she called you a slut
Simone: What a bitch she called me a slut. I'm gonna kick her ass
Darla: You said you wouldn't get mad
Simone: I'm not mad!
Carl Burnett: Don't let the fact that you won't be able to sit down all summer affect your game
Shavonne Wright: What the hell are you talking about girl?
Kaye Faulkner: Didn't even think about it did you?
Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye Faulkner: It's what called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne Wright: [laughs] Oh my haha
Kaye Faulkner: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with 2 readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door-type with a nice butt. So the men have it all, the Madonna and the whore. Women get nothing! We get a geek, an overweight middle-age guy, and a nerdy scientific type.
Jodi: [interrupts] The professor... is sexy.
Randall 'Pink' Floyd: Yeah, there's always one senior who has to be the bad-ass.
Jodi: Hey, I got a favour to ask you guys. You know my little brother?
Benny O'Donnell: Yeah, Mitch Kramer
Jodi: Ya, Mitch Kramer. Well, take it easy on him this summer will ya?
Pink: Don't worry sis, little brother's safe with us.
Jodi: Well just don't get him worse than the other guys. He's kinda little.
[walks off]
Benny O'Donnell: Ok. I promise.
[Jodi walks off]
Dawson: There was just a little bit of bullshit in all that right?
Benny O'Donnell: Major bullshit. He's a dead man.
Mitch: Are you starting again next year?
Pink: I dunno man, I may not even play.
Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
Benny O'Donnell: You just wasted another fucking beer.
Jodi: Who are you?
Sabrina Davis: Um... no one. I mean I'm not in the trucks
Jodi: You're freshman?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah...
Jodi: So... are you in or are you out?
Sabrina Davis: In, I guess
Pickford: Slater alligator
Kaye Faulkner: Let's go smoke that joint
Jodi: Is he in for a surprise
Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me Watch me get something going here.
[the girls show up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[the girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!
Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
Julie Simms: You're Mitch. Heard about you.
Mitch: Really what have you heard?
Julie Simms: You know, you ok?
Mitch: [embarressed] Oh, yeah
Pickford: Step into my head.
Slater: You cool man?
Mitch: Like how?
Slater: [rolling his eyes as he walks away] OK.
Pink: He was asking if you get high.
Mike: I feel like I'm being stalked by a Nazi.
Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.
Julie Simms: They actually let you buy it?
Mitch: Course
Wooderson: Cynthia, man? I like it, man.
Pink: Red's a good color for you.
Wooderson: My favorite color.
Mr. Pickford, Kevin's Dad: You guys know anything about a party?
Pink: No sir.
Cynthia: After a couple of years no one will even remember
Dawson: Did you hear that O'Bannion flunked?
Pink: Yeah, what a dumbshit.
Jodi: Ask Tony to marry you.
Sabrina Davis: Will you marry me?
Tony: Oh god, what am I supposed to say?
Mike: I dont know.
Tony: Uh, whadda ya do for me?
Sabrina Davis: Umm, anything you like.
Tony: [turns to Mike] Imagine the possibilities.
Tony: NeoMcCarthyism, I like that.
O'Bannion: Y'all ready to bust some ass?
Coach Conrad: Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight. And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.
Simone: I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!
Pickford: [mockingly, to Mike and Tony] Woodward, Bernstein.
Mike: Guess that makes you Deep Throat.
Dawson: Mmm... bowling ball. Bowling ball. Yeah throw it. Faggot, sissy, pussy, freshman.
[repeated line]
Mitch: Man I hate that guy!
Pink: What's up?
Julie Simms: Nothing.
Pink: Nothing much?
Julie Simms: Nothing at all.
Simone: I can't believe she called me a slut. What a bitch!
Shavonne Wright: [laughing] Simone everyone calls you a slut
Simone: Shavonne!
Pink: What girlfriend?
Jodi: What's her name... Simone.
Pink: Oh. Her.
Shavonne Wright: Hey can we have a couple of those beers?
Dawson: These beers? Why?
Shavonne Wright: Just gimme a beer.
Sabrina Davis: So what do you guys do... for fun I mean
Jodi: Mostly hang out, y'know? There's gonna be a big party tonight, should be fun.
Sabrina Davis: Oh, cool. Sounds fun.
Jodi: [nice] You wanna come?
Sabrina Davis: [happy] Sure!
Tommy Houston: Your days of lying around all night with Clementine are over.
John Hirschfelder: Yeah right.
Slater: Oh, man, I'm fuckin' wasted.
Tony: [to Sabrina about the hazing] We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals, and we were wondering how someone such as you would subject themselves to the losing end of it all.
Jodi: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.
Mike: [after Jodi takes Sabrina away] Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
Tony: Well you know how it is.
Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.
Tony: Yeah I bet she is.
Slater: Man just wait till I get to college!
Benny O'Donnell: Just remember, those guys don't care if you win or lose.
Jodi: What are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch.
Pickford: Slater-san, how's it goin'?
Slater: Fixin' to be a lot better, man.
Pink: They're really doing this
Dawson: Yeah, they want it back by the end of the day too. Can you believe it?
Pink: And everybody's signing it?
Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just ket it go.
Pink: [looks pissed and crumples it]
Dawson: You're gonna make a big deal outta this aren't you?
Darla: Air raid or it's your ass.
Tony: Don't do it Sabrina
Darla: [drunk] Oh that's it, Miss Hot Stuff. I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell
[laughs and walks off]
Darla: LICK ME! All of you!
Pink: It's best to get it all at once. After the first 10 licks your ass gets so numb you don't feel it.
Pink: Have you seen Jodi around?
Wooderson: No she left your ass.
Pink: Well you win some you lose some.
Jodi: I guess I'll have to get used to seeing you at the same social functions as me. And hanging out with people I know.
Dawson: Vicki. Come on, let's skip out and go get naked. Come on let's go.
Pink: Put some ice on it. After that, there's nothing a few beers won't take care of.
Darla: Ok girlies. It's really hot out here and I'm really sick of looking at you.
Mike: I didn't think drugs and alchohol were such a big deal they had to resort to Neo-McCarthyism to get rid of it.
Pink: I think they're just worried that some of us are having too good a time.

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