Twin gynecologists take full advantage of the fact that nobody can tell them apart, until their relationship begins to deteriorate over a woman.

[first lines]
Elliot, Age 9: You've heard about sex...
Beverly, Age 9: Sure I have.
Elliot, Age 9: Well I've discovered why sex is.
Beverly, Age 9: You have? Fantastic.
Raffaella: It's because humans don't live under water.
Beverly, Age 9: I don't get it.
Elliot, Age 9: Well, fish don't need sex because they just lay the eggs and fertilize them in the water. Humans can't do that because they don't live in the water. They have to - internalize the water. Therefore we have sex.
Beverly, Age 9: So you mean humans would have sex if they lived in the water?
Elliot, Age 9: Well they'd have a kind of sex. The kind where you wouldn't have to touch each other.
Beverly, Age 9: I like that idea. Have you heard of scuba diving? It's just new.
Elliot, Age 9: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Beverly, Age 9: Exactly.
Elliot, Age 9: [noticing girl on porch] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Beverly, Age 9: Yeah, you ask her.
Elliot, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off you freaks. I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what fuck is.
[retreats into her house]
Elliot, Age 9: [walking away] They're so different from us. And all because we don't live under water.
Beverly Mantle: [examining Claire] That's fantastic.
Claire Niveau: I've never heard anyone say that about the inside of my body before.
Beverly Mantle: Surely you've heard of inner beauty?
Elliot Mantle: I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the *insides* of bodies.
Elliot Mantle: Don't do this to me, Bev.
Beverly Mantle: But I'm only doing it to me. Why don't you get along with your very own life?
Elliot Mantle: Do you remember the first Siamese twins?
Beverly Mantle: Chang and Eng were joined at the chest.
Elliot Mantle: Remember how they died?
Beverly Mantle: Chang died of a stroke in the middle of the night. He was always the sickly one. He was always the one who drank too much. When Eng woke up beside him to find that his brother was dead... he died of fright. Right there in the bed.
Elliot Mantle: Does that answer your question?
Beverly Mantle: Poor Eli.
Elliot Mantle: Poor Bev.
Elliot Mantle: But... I want some ice cream.
Beverly Mantle: [about the pills] You'll take an up so I won't take a down. This is crazy!
Elliot Mantle: I'm not you, Bev.
Elliot Mantle: And tomorrow, we'll take some Percodan... just because it's Saturday.
Elliot Mantle: Why are you crying, Bev?
Beverly Mantle: Separation can be a... terrifying thing.
Beverly Mantle: Pain creates character distortion, it's simply not necessary.
Claire Niveau: I'm often in a lot of pain.
Beverly Mantle: What kind of pain?
Claire Niveau: I think... psychosexual.
Beverly Mantle: There's nothing the matter with the instrument, it's the body. The woman's body is all wrong!
Beverly Mantle: Are you still doing the mini-series?
Claire Niveau: Re-shoots. The director didn't know what he was doing.
Beverly Mantle: [crying about Claire] Yesterday, I found out she was having an affair. She's unfaithful to me, Eli.
Elliot Mantle: Bev, you mustn't take it so seriously. She's a showbiz lady. What can you expect?
Beverly Mantle: [sobbing hysterically] I'm in love with her! I have to take it seriously!
Elliot Mantle: It can't be love if it does this to you, can it? It can't be love, Bev.
Claire Niveau: I've been around a bit. I've seen some creepy things in the movie business. This is the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.
Elliot Mantle: I doubt that.
Claire Niveau: I've heard that you live together in the same apartment.
Beverly Mantle: We both like Italian furniture.
Elliot Mantle: Don't touch him, he's my brother!
Beverly Mantle: I was hiding from the wrong person.
[last lines]
Claire Niveau: [Beverly phones up Claire on a payphone] Hello. Hello? Who is this?
[Beverly hangs up]
Claire Niveau: You've got a woman's name. Beverly. Why did your mother give you a woman's name?
Beverly Mantle: It's not a woman's name. It's just spelled different.
Claire Niveau: Does your brother have a woman's name too. Meriam spelled with an E and an A?
Beverly Mantle: What are you trying to suggest? That I'm gay or something? That my mother wanted girls? What the fuck is this BULLSHIT PSYCHOANALYSIS?
Elliot Mantle: You could adopt.
Claire Niveau: It wouldn't have been part of my body.
Elliot Mantle: I know what you mean.
Elliot Mantle: Bev, you haven't done anything until I've done it too. You haven't fucked Claire Niveau until you've told me about it.
Beverly Mantle: Then I haven't fucked Claire Niveau!
Beverly, Age 9: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Elliot, Age 9: Yeah. You ask her.
Beverly, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off, you freaks! I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what "fuck" is!
[she walks off]
Beverly, Age 9: They're so different from us...

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