Empire Records Quotes
The employees of an independent music store learn about each other as they try anything to stop the store being absorbed by a large chain.
Joe: Deb, what are you doing?
Debra: I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
Warren: Oh yeah? Well have a little chat with my gun.
Debra: [into the barrel of Warren's gun] What do you want Warren?
Warren: STOP CALLING ME WARREN. MY NAME ISN'T FUCKING WARREN.
Debra: Well you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.
Warren: What? You are psycho. You're a psycho.
Debra: I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
Warren: Oh yeah? Well have a little chat with my gun.
Debra: [into the barrel of Warren's gun] What do you want Warren?
Warren: STOP CALLING ME WARREN. MY NAME ISN'T FUCKING WARREN.
Debra: Well you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.
Warren: What? You are psycho. You're a psycho.
Mark: Hey, Lucas. I've decided I'm going to start a band.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a
[checks his nametag]
Mark: K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a
[checks his nametag]
Mark: K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.
A.J.: Lucas, hey Lucas. Hey Lucas. What the hell are you doin' here, man?
Lucas: Something happened to me last night. In Atlantic City.
A.J.: Oh, you went to Atlantic City?
Mark: Wow! Did you win anything?
Lucas: No. I did not win. So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you, I tell you now that it was.
Lucas: Something happened to me last night. In Atlantic City.
A.J.: Oh, you went to Atlantic City?
Mark: Wow! Did you win anything?
Lucas: No. I did not win. So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you, I tell you now that it was.
[Debra has just shaved her head]
Gina: Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.
Debra: God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
Gina: And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets, so it's probably a good thing you went with that. It's a wonderful look for you darling.
Gina: Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.
Debra: God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
Gina: And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets, so it's probably a good thing you went with that. It's a wonderful look for you darling.
A.J.: Hi, what're you doing up here?
[Corey pushes A.J so he falls]
Corey: You listen to me! You're so special and you're so talented and you have everything it takes! You have MORE than everything it takes and you're REALLY stupid because you don't know that. And I know you don't love me anymore, and I know that I blew it but at least I know that, and if you don't go to art school and if you don't understand how special you are then you know nothing!
A.J.: Corey, I...
Corey: And I did love you, and I still... only I didn't realise that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else and I'll never love anybody as much as you and I hate you! I hate you!
A.J.: Corey, I quit. I quit!
[pause]
A.J.: I'm going to art school, in Boston. So I can be near you.
[Corey pushes A.J so he falls]
Corey: You listen to me! You're so special and you're so talented and you have everything it takes! You have MORE than everything it takes and you're REALLY stupid because you don't know that. And I know you don't love me anymore, and I know that I blew it but at least I know that, and if you don't go to art school and if you don't understand how special you are then you know nothing!
A.J.: Corey, I...
Corey: And I did love you, and I still... only I didn't realise that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else and I'll never love anybody as much as you and I hate you! I hate you!
A.J.: Corey, I quit. I quit!
[pause]
A.J.: I'm going to art school, in Boston. So I can be near you.
Lucas: Warren, look what you took.
[going through the CD's that Warren stole from the store]
Lucas: Rap... metal... rap... metal... And Whitney Houston.
Warren: It's for my girlfriend, okay?
Lucas: Suuure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren: Maybe you bite me.
[going through the CD's that Warren stole from the store]
Lucas: Rap... metal... rap... metal... And Whitney Houston.
Warren: It's for my girlfriend, okay?
Lucas: Suuure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren: Maybe you bite me.
Joe: [after Lucas enters] Lucas!
Lucas: Joe!
Joe: Where's the money?
Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
Joe: Yeah, I know it's gone... but where's it gone to?
Lucas: Atlantic City.
Joe: Atlantic City?... Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
Lucas: [nervous laugh] Oh, I don't think so, Joe.
Joe: What's it doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?
Lucas: ...Recirculating.
Joe: Recirculating?
Lucas: Yeah.
[Joe knocks the donation cup that Lucas was carrying out of his hands and grabs his arm]
Joe: Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
Lucas: Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear.
Joe: Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
Lucas: [sitting down] It could be in other cities by now...
Joe: Oh, shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch... unless it's to get me $9000, and then you bring it here to me, okay?
Lucas: Okay. You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.
Joe: Oh? And what makes you think that.
Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
[nodding]
Lucas: Mmhmm!
Joe: ...What a moron.
Lucas: Joe!
Joe: Where's the money?
Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
Joe: Yeah, I know it's gone... but where's it gone to?
Lucas: Atlantic City.
Joe: Atlantic City?... Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
Lucas: [nervous laugh] Oh, I don't think so, Joe.
Joe: What's it doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?
Lucas: ...Recirculating.
Joe: Recirculating?
Lucas: Yeah.
[Joe knocks the donation cup that Lucas was carrying out of his hands and grabs his arm]
Joe: Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
Lucas: Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear.
Joe: Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
Lucas: [sitting down] It could be in other cities by now...
Joe: Oh, shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch... unless it's to get me $9000, and then you bring it here to me, okay?
Lucas: Okay. You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.
Joe: Oh? And what makes you think that.
Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
[nodding]
Lucas: Mmhmm!
Joe: ...What a moron.
Lucas: Mark, who's your favorite singer?
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark: [thinks] ... Does Axl have a jack?
Warren: No way man!... Axl would pound on the gas, turn the wheel, take aim, and take that sucker out!
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark: [thinks] ... Does Axl have a jack?
Warren: No way man!... Axl would pound on the gas, turn the wheel, take aim, and take that sucker out!
Debra: I guess nobody really has it all together, huh?
Corey: No.
Debra: I feel like I should welcome you to the neighborhood or something. Anyway, did you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe? 'Oh Rexy stop that. You're so sexy.'
Corey: Why are you being so nice to me?
Debra: Let's save our Hallmark moment.
Corey: No.
Debra: I feel like I should welcome you to the neighborhood or something. Anyway, did you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe? 'Oh Rexy stop that. You're so sexy.'
Corey: Why are you being so nice to me?
Debra: Let's save our Hallmark moment.
High Roller: That's an 18,000 dollar bet, you sure you know what you're doin kid?
Lucas: I know this, that if I win this roll I will save the place that I work from being sold, and the jobs of my friends that work there. Thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to be in.
Lady at Craps Table: Huh?
Lucas: ...And I'll buy you guys a drink.
Lucas: I know this, that if I win this roll I will save the place that I work from being sold, and the jobs of my friends that work there. Thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to be in.
Lady at Craps Table: Huh?
Lucas: ...And I'll buy you guys a drink.
Corey: Joe, you're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?
Joe: Berko's taking him his lunch.
Corey: Um Joe, you know that Berko's gonna insult him to his face I don't think that's such a good idea.
Joe: I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact, I hope he sticks one up mine, it might be an improvement.
Corey: Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.
Joe: Berko is.
Corey: Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.
Joe: Berko is.
Corey: [screams] I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!
[pause]
Joe: ...alright.
Joe: Berko's taking him his lunch.
Corey: Um Joe, you know that Berko's gonna insult him to his face I don't think that's such a good idea.
Joe: I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact, I hope he sticks one up mine, it might be an improvement.
Corey: Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.
Joe: Berko is.
Corey: Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.
Joe: Berko is.
Corey: [screams] I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!
[pause]
Joe: ...alright.
Eddie: Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?
A.J.: It's near Boston.
Eddie: No I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet man- another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is, you and Corey just aren't made for each other. She's different from you.
A.J.: It's near Boston.
Eddie: No I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet man- another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is, you and Corey just aren't made for each other. She's different from you.
[Debra comes out to take over from Corey with her newly shaved head]
Corey: Why'd you do that?
Debra: Just your typical nutty teenager in America...
[Debra lifts her arm to reveal her bandaged wrist]
Debra: Oh! Before you guys hear all about it.
Corey: That's supposed to be a joke, right?
Debra: No. You're the joke.
Corey: Why'd you do that?
Debra: Just your typical nutty teenager in America...
[Debra lifts her arm to reveal her bandaged wrist]
Debra: Oh! Before you guys hear all about it.
Corey: That's supposed to be a joke, right?
Debra: No. You're the joke.
Eddie: This music is the glue of the world Mark. It's what holds it all together. Without this, life would be meaningless.
Mark: Hey, did you hear about Lucas?
Eddie: Hey Lucas man, I hear you went to Vegas and you married a mobster's wife and now you've got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?
Lucas: Not entirely true.
Eddie: Well outlaw man, we solute you.
Lucas: Thank you Eddie.
Eddie: No problem.
Mark: Hey, did you hear about Lucas?
Eddie: Hey Lucas man, I hear you went to Vegas and you married a mobster's wife and now you've got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?
Lucas: Not entirely true.
Eddie: Well outlaw man, we solute you.
Lucas: Thank you Eddie.
Eddie: No problem.
