Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask Quotes
Seven segments related to one another only in that they all purport to be based on sections of the book by David Reuben. The segments range from "Do Aphrodisiacs Work?" in which a court ... See full summary »
[Fabrizio tries in vain to get Gina excited]
Fabrizio: [romantically, in Italian, as he rubs her] Foreplay... foreplay... foreplay... foreplay... foreplay...
[a long time later, Gina is still insensitive]
Fabrizio: [sleepily, in Italian] Foreplay... foreplay... foreplay...
[Fabrizio falls asleep on top of her]
Fabrizio: [romantically, in Italian, as he rubs her] Foreplay... foreplay... foreplay... foreplay... foreplay...
[a long time later, Gina is still insensitive]
Fabrizio: [sleepily, in Italian] Foreplay... foreplay... foreplay...
[Fabrizio falls asleep on top of her]
Victor Shakapopulis: Doctor, I read a statement you made that, uh, you felt that the average length of a man's penis should be nineteen inches. Doesn't that seem a little long?
Dr. Bernardo: Long? My friend, I'm making discoveries you wouldn't dream of.
Dr. Bernardo: Yes I know, but nineteen inches. I mean that's-...
[Victor makes hand gestures]
Dr. Bernardo: Does it sound mad? That's what they called me at Masters of Johnsons Clinic, mad. Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics. It was I who first said that the clitoral orgasm should not be only for women! They ridiculed me, said I was mad, haha! But I showed them. They threw me out of Masters of Johnson, no severance but, and I had it coming. But I showed them!
Victor Shakapopulis: Are we having dessert?
Dr. Bernardo: Long? My friend, I'm making discoveries you wouldn't dream of.
Dr. Bernardo: Yes I know, but nineteen inches. I mean that's-...
[Victor makes hand gestures]
Dr. Bernardo: Does it sound mad? That's what they called me at Masters of Johnsons Clinic, mad. Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics. It was I who first said that the clitoral orgasm should not be only for women! They ridiculed me, said I was mad, haha! But I showed them. They threw me out of Masters of Johnson, no severance but, and I had it coming. But I showed them!
Victor Shakapopulis: Are we having dessert?
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a hippopotamus.
Victor Shakapopulis: How often does that problem come up with a hippo?
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm forcing a man to have intercourse with a large rye bread. They're getting on famously! Here I'm going to take the brain of a lesbian and put it into the body of a man who works for the telephone company.
Victor Shakapopulis: But why? What good will this do anybody?
Dr. Bernardo: It'll show those fools who called me mad!
Victor Shakapopulis: How often does that problem come up with a hippo?
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm forcing a man to have intercourse with a large rye bread. They're getting on famously! Here I'm going to take the brain of a lesbian and put it into the body of a man who works for the telephone company.
Victor Shakapopulis: But why? What good will this do anybody?
Dr. Bernardo: It'll show those fools who called me mad!
The Queen: Hark unto me! If my husband the King and my son the Doctor walketh near upon these paved paths and heareth what thou saist about copping a feel, thy life would not be worth a plugged nickel!
The Fool: But Madam, so beautiful do they lay there, one on either side!
The Queen: 'One on either side'?
The Fool: A matched set!
The Queen: That's the way they were made, Fool! Away with thee!
[She storms away knocking the Fool over]
The Fool: I fell on my bells!
The Fool: But Madam, so beautiful do they lay there, one on either side!
The Queen: 'One on either side'?
The Fool: A matched set!
The Queen: That's the way they were made, Fool! Away with thee!
[She storms away knocking the Fool over]
The Fool: I fell on my bells!
The Girl: For me, Norman Mailer has exactly that same sort of relevance - that affirmitive, negative duality that only Proust or Flaubert could achieve.
The Operator: I don't know if we're gonna make it or not, doesn't look too good.
The Girl: I'm a graduate of New York University.
The Operator: We're gonna make it.
The Operator: I don't know if we're gonna make it or not, doesn't look too good.
The Girl: I'm a graduate of New York University.
The Operator: We're gonna make it.
