Joel, the owner of an extract plant, tries to contend with myriad personal and professional problems, such as his potentially unfaithful wife and employees who want to take advantage of him.

Joel: If I don't get home before 8, she puts on the sweatpants.
Joel: And once the sweatpants are on, I get nothing.
Joel: What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks - they just want a guy who's smart and funny - but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.
Joe Adler: I should fire all 3 of you. Cuz you laughed at me when I bought those bus stop bench ads. But this Step guy, he's the Holy Grail. See if both his balls had been knocked clean off, it'd be a good case, but not a great case. and with no balls, he's no man at all. The jury will never feel they can walk in the shoes of a ball-less neutered He-She freak. But Step! He's got one ball! Barely. But to a jury, he's still a man. And that man is hanging on by a thread. I'M TELLING YOU, THIS MAN IS A FUCKING POWERBALL. THIS GUY IS A... Oh hello. I'm Joe Adler.
Suzie: Who'd you want to have an affair with, anyway?
Joel: Just some criminal drifter.
Dean: [Looking at Cindy through the office window] Damn! She work here?
Joel: Yes, she's a temp.
Dean: She's a tramp?
Joel: "Temp!"
Dean: [as Brad walks out of the bar] There he goes... Johnny Horsecock.
Dean: You need to take some Xanax.
Joel: Xanax? Isn't that for anxiety?
Dean: It's good for all psychological problems in the DSM-IV. Xanax basically just makes you feel good. That's why it works for *everything*. I take it for the common head cold!
Joel: What if I tell her you did it all for money? How about that Ding-Ding?
Dean: That's how we're gonna solve all our modern problems. Wisdom of the ancients.
Brian: Hey and I need to fire Hector. You know, cuz of What's-her-face's purse and Dinkus' wallet.
Rory: I don't want to work at Southwest Airlines. They make you do the limbo. I would be the laughingstock of the grindcore community.
Dean: You should try smoking a little pot.
Joel: That's a drug.
Dean: It's not a drug. It's a flower.
Dean: [Comes into in Joel's office. He sees Cindy for the first time and is dumbfounded. Turns to Joel] Oh, damn! Goodness.
[Back to Cindy, warmly shakes hands with her]
Dean: Hi. Dean. Entrepreneur, spiritualist, healer.
Brad: Hey you weren't supposed to be here for another 4 hours... What happened to your face?
Joel: same thing...! Your face is going to look like my face if I ever... ! Actually, your face is going to look worse than mine if...
Dean: You know, I'm starting to think this might have been a mistake.
Joel: Really?
Dean: Maybe it was my fault, you know?, maybe it was your fault.
Joel: No, it's yours.
Dean: A lot of blame to go around here. I think there are some people who just aren't meant to do drugs, *Joel*. I think you're one of those people, man.
Joel: I think that I just got distracted with Dean, and the drugs, and the gigolos.