A slacker is forced to work for his father-in-law after his pregnant wife steps away from her high-paying job.

Tom Reilly: He's paralyzed from the waist down!
Sofia Kowalski: [with a satisfied smile] Not completely!
Chip Sanders: [hits Tom with wheelchair] That's for stealing my yogurt, douche.
Bob Kowalski: Why would I give you my 'yes' ball?
Sofia Kowalski: Your baby's a dipshit!
Tom Reilly: No offense to Chip, but he's a dick!
Sofia Kowalski: You couldn't lose me even if you tried. And you've been trying really hard lately.
Bob Kowalski: [burns his hand on lamp] Fuck!
Tom Reilly: Are you okay?
Bob Kowalski: That lamp is hotter than shit!
Sofia Kowalski: [Abby March makes comment about how Sofia isn't a happy person and Abby thinks it's bad for baby Oliver] You know what I think? You're an idiot. And your son Petey... is a dipshit.
Tom Reilly: Market penetration strategy. Something that's very important to today's youth market: penetration.