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A circus' beautiful trapeze artist agrees to marry the leader of side-show performers, but his deformed friends discover she is only marrying him for his inheritance.
Freaks: We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble!
[referring to a "half-man/half-woman" who has given Hercules an alluring look] Roscoe: I think she likes you - but he don't.
Hans: Are you laughing at me? Cleopatra: Why no, monsieur. Hans: Thanks, I'm glad. Cleopatra: Why should they laugh at you? Hans: Most big people do, they don't realize that I'm a man with the same feelings they have.
Roscoe: I'm not going to have my wife laying in bed half the day with one of your hangovers.
Phroso: Don't go out filling your hide with a lot of booze celebrating. 'Cause fun what's got that way never done NO one no good. Get me? Venus: I got ya'. Venus: [stops and takes a closer look at Phroso] Say, you're a pretty good kid! Phroso: You're darn right I am! You should have caught me before my operation!
Cleopatra: Well, holy jumping Christmas!
Hercules: They're going to make you one of them, my peacock!
Roscoe: [whenever he asks only one of the two Siamese twins to stay, and the twins have to leave together] You always use that as a excu-excuse, an alib-b-b-bi.
Hans: Give me that little black bottle.
Frieda: I was saying, tonight you must not smoke such a big cigar. Your voice was very bad at tonight's show. Hans: Please, Frieda, don't tell me what I do. When I want a cigar, I smoke a cigar. I want no orders from a woman.
Hans: Dummkopf! What have you on your shoulders for heads? Swiss cheese?
Frieda: It wasn't your fault, it was only the bottle you wanted.
Cleopatra: [playing with Frieda's skirt] Nice, nice. Frieda: [pokes at her with her wand] Don't, don't.